Looking For Reactions To New Pop Dance Tune

[Kammy J]

Hey Slutz,
This is my first eurodance endeavor, and I want to know what people think of it. I'm wondering things like:

How's the overall sound quality? Any recommendations? (bear with the pooey myspace stream)
Does it have hit potential?
Do you think it's catchy?
Would you throw it on at a dance party?

Any other questions/comments welcome.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to listen.

It's called "What'd Ya Say"

MySpace.com - Kameron - Portland, Oregon - Experimental / Pop / Healing & EasyListening - www.myspace.com/kameronjohnsonmusic

[Mr. Liszt]

Not trashy enough, lol.

And not as good as "Art Of Song."

I see what you are going for with that third snare hit. It is bothering me though. I think that it is the emphasis on the grace notes or flam or whatever you ant to call it. I suggest perhaps either cleaning up those grace notes preceding the snare and, taking the emphasis away and automating the level pretty generously to top out on the "&" of 4 or for fun adding some delay to the snare for that hit and reversing it so that the hit still happens on the "&" of beat 4 like you have it now.

I really love the low gang vocals in between the first and second vocal phrase! Man, take that and work it in to something else new and make it the focus somehow of the song. Reminds me of the Banana Boat Song a little.

Re track that falsetto flip in the second phrase where you go from D to E. Flipping just one whole to falsetto is tricky. For a second your voice is going higher than the E note and sounds a little amateur. I would try actually changing the falsetto note to an F# since your on a D chord anyway. Or still flip the the E and move up to an F#.

Weak hook.

I don't think that the communication of the meaning of the lyrical content of the song is handled like a hit. Without really paying attention to the lyrics I have no idea what the song is about. You can get away with that if you have some amazing hook or melodic chord combination of one or two words that somehow communicates the meaning in some impossible way. But I don't hear that here.

[Kammy J]

Originally Posted by Mr. Liszt

Not trashy enough, lol.

And not as good as "Art Of Song."

I see what you are going for with that third snare hit. It is bothering me though. I think that it is the emphasis on the grace notes or flam or whatever you ant to call it. I suggest perhaps either cleaning up those grace notes preceding the snare and, taking the emphasis away and automating the level pretty generously to top out on the "&" of 4 or for fun adding some delay to the snare for that hit and reversing it so that the hit still happens on the "&" of beat 4 like you have it now.

I really love the low gang vocals in between the first and second vocal phrase! Man, take that and work it in to something else new and make it the focus somehow of the song. Reminds me of the Banana Boat Song a little.

Re track that falsetto flip in the second phrase where you go from D to E. Flipping just one whole to falsetto is tricky. For a second your voice is going higher than the E note and sounds a little amateur. I would try actually changing the falsetto note to an F# since your on a D chord anyway. Or still flip the the E and move up to an F#.

Weak hook.

I don't think that the communication of the meaning of the lyrical content of the song is handled like a hit. Without really paying attention to the lyrics I have no idea what the song is about. You can get away with that if you have some amazing hook or melodic chord combination of one or two words that somehow communicates the meaning in some impossible way. But I don't hear that here.

Thanks for the response once again mr. liszt. I see what you're saying about the rolling snare; I thought it sounded weird at first, but then it stopped bothering me as much. I'll probably do a little automation on it. Yeah the break to falsetto was a little weird, but I thought it was artsy & intimate so it worked. However, i tried the F# idea, and I do think that would be even better, so I'll probably take your advice on that!

Do you think the chorus would be better without the distorted "what'd ya say to me" line? wasn't meant to be the hook, in fact I never really had a hook persay, just the "ma da mi da ma da ma da" or whatever, then threw in the "what'd ya say" (which was originally just in the bridge) because I needed a song title (and thought it should be in the song more often than just the bridge).

As far as the lyrics... yeah, they're whack, and yeah, they were the first thing I thought of! Guilty! That being said, they're not supposed to be anything original, that's what clubby dance songs are all about: hearing some simple stupid lyric for the first time over some pumping rhythm, and being able to sing along come the next chorus.
There's no deep meaning or anything here. I think I understand what you're saying though. I guess the problem is that the catchy vocal parts of the chorus are just phonemes pretty much, but I don't think this is necessarily bad. I guess this is sort of comparable to Rhiana's "please don't stop the music" where the best part of the song is the michael jackson rip off part: "mama say mama sa mama coo sa" or whatever.
Anybody else have thoughts on this?

Thanks for taking the time to hear my stuff, you're the man!

[Kammy J]

a one liner will do.

bump.

[Todd]

I'd prefer a fatter, darker, snare with more wieght.

This one has too much "snare". Needs more "pop".
That may help the snare rolls.

Not crazy about that paricular open hi hat sound you chose.

Kick could be fatter and tighter. Its not really hitting me in the chest
like i want it to.

You've got skillz, for sure. Keep up the good work.

[Timothy Lawler]

I like the vocals overall. Really nice moment from 1:04-14 in the arranging. The phrase following that though has a horn-like sound on the offbeat 8th notes that, in its timbre, makes it sound too polka-like IMO. I'd replace it with a tooby sounding elec gtr. Just my own taste.

I agree that the snare needs less snare-spring-zing and more pop, especially during the quick figures.

I'd take off the delay on the finger snaps at 2:56. It diminishes their rhythmic effect.

Enjoyed the tune.

[Awedeeoh]

I just gotta say I love the way the rapper on "fill up yo cup" delivers his lines on the first rap verse hahahaa. I dunno if it was meant to be but that song is so campy

I look at your profile picture on the left and while im hearing that song and im just left confused like "what??" but in a funny way