PLEASE CRITIQUE THIS GIRL, SONG, AND MIX- thanks!

larrykane · 14th June 2008, 10:27 PM

Hi All,
This is my daughters first recording and I was hoping for some input prior to final mix. Thanks so much

The song is 'WHICH IS THE WAY 2 YOUR HEART' the first one in the link below-thanks again
mix questions;The bass is sampled acoustic bass is it sufficient?
There is one vocal word in first verse that has one echo return-keep it/lose it?
Drum kit-does it need reamping or sufficient?

Music page of His Legacy - MP3 music page on SoundClick

mdme_sadie · 15th June 2008, 08:23 PM

I'll be honest (this is going to be brutal, but it's tough love), this girl deserves a better backing track than this. It sounds like Casiotone hell, OK maybe that's harsh, but it's bad, no the bass is not sufficient, the arrangement needs a lot of work.

You have to decide which way you want to go here, either (a)Very synthetic, retro blips, lo-fi, but with high quality effects, reverbs, delays etc applied to make it sound awesome, or (b) Full sounding backing, with big arrangement etc. Part of that decision is going to be budget considerations, however general arrangement wont cost you much.

The song itself also doesn't seem to go anywhere, I would re-work out the structure of the song and how you want it to build, where you want it to go and how you want it to end in particular. As it is it sounds like you only have enough material here for a song of about half it's current length.

Back to the bass, I would consider buying a very cheap second hand bass for under $100 and playing in the whole part direct, or even using another instrument, maybe the piano should take on the bassline leaving more room in the mids for her voice?

Percussion wise there are some problems too with the rhythm and groove, consider adding in a rake or washboard even (think like in The Man Who Sold the World style rhythm under that) to add so the tone that I think you're trying to head towards, gospel with something a little sultry and early 20th century Congo style with touches of Latin American elements.

The piano needs to be reworked, it feels like it's not in time with her or the rest (either she needs to be on time with the piano exactly or the piano needs to be moved to be on time with her) the sound must be tight on the "Which is the way 2 your heart" segments, otherwise it sounds like a school practice rather than a tight band, I would also maybe during those segments work out a counterpoint melody and rhythm on the piano to compliment the voices rhythm rather than over-emphasizing that part (which makes it sound like a rough sketch, the piano leading the vocal as a teacher would) maybe even drop piano a lot lower, go for an organ sound there and bring up more of a gospel choir to give it a bit more oomph and let the vocal really take on the rhythm and become more percussive in itself.

Overall I think that most of the sounds need a lot of work, they feel dead and un-timed and the space isn't right around the vocals themselves, and that's a shame as I think your daughter has a good voice that deserves a good tight and live feeling track under it.

peeder · 15th June 2008, 08:37 PM

Well I think its good the track sucks because the singer is good and when you find a diamond in the rough like that it's actually ironically more motivating than when you hear something that sounds full up and then you judge them vs. everybody else.

In that sense, what the track does is make you think the singer has tons of potential, they just need someone who can produce. If the track fulfilled that potential, then you'd just judge them vs. the herd of already-professional banshees and that would be tough.

larrykane · 15th June 2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdme_sadie

I'll be honest (this is going to be brutal, but it's tough love), .

Brutal tough love is good and beats empty placation. thanks
We have somewhere to go from here. as a parent I knew it would be easy to like it "just because" and that's why the feedback from this forum is close to priceless.

scrizly · 16th June 2008, 07:24 PM

I agree with the comments above. The tune doesn't really go anywhere and feels a little lifeless / sterile. It needs some funktification! I do think your daughter has a really nice sounding voice though. Good luck!

dylansmale · 16th June 2008, 08:54 PM

doesn't seem like anything innovative or new, but the fact that the singer is a female is a plus sign in the industry I'm guessing. The vocals though, are unmoving, but familiar sounding. They seem to lack heart and any emotion what so ever, except for a girl trying to sound like a temptress but not being motivated for the part and being the slave of some sick act (seriously thats what crosses my mind second or third). Not only that but the tune has been beaten to death by other artists. Other than that, I find it catchy and pretty well recorded.

Guitar is blah, but I guess it fits well with what your going for. Not enough emphasis on the drums I'm thinking.

larrykane · 17th June 2008, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dylansmale

doesn't seem like anything innovative or new, but the fact that the singer is a female is a plus sign in the industry I'm guessing. The vocals though, are unmoving, but familiar sounding. They seem to lack heart and any emotion what so ever, except for a girl trying to sound like a temptress but not being motivated for the part and being the slave of some sick act (seriously thats what crosses my mind second or third). Not only that but the tune has been beaten to death by other artists. Other than that, I find it catchy and pretty well recorded.

Guitar is blah, but I guess it fits well with what your going for. Not enough emphasis on the drums I'm thinking.

Well, based on mdme_sadie and peeders's valuable and essentially constructive (plus a priceless reality check thanks soooo much guys) advice I've scheduled a drummer, pianist and bass player to replace the midi stuff, and will be adding a short sax solo as well as losing the rap interlude and will be shortening the song, tailor some space around the vocal, prune and compress the harmonies,as well as possibly a key change.
However your comment that the song has been beaten to death by other artists is in a way a compliment because this is not a cover.

peeder · 17th June 2008, 03:19 AM

Toss the groove. Let the band play live with the singer and build on there. The groove is awful and unsalvageable. The comps aren't so great either...I can clearly pick them out.

Mr. robmix did a Chrissy Aguilera gospel thing that you ought to listen to, it's on his site I think. Here:

Elicit Song Player

"Soar"

Sorry to present how far away the "target" is...

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
critique my mix (simple song....concerns with eq)	yourmomsp	Work in progress / advice requested / Show & Tell / Artist showcase	4	7th May 2007 06:41 PM
Please critique this song/mix	metraith	Work in progress / advice requested / Show & Tell / Artist showcase	6	5th February 2007 04:08 PM
Critique a Rough Mix (Rock song)	SpeedKing9	Work in progress / advice requested / Show & Tell / Artist showcase	3	10th July 2006 10:40 PM
Critique my mix...(indie/folky song)	yourmomsp	Work in progress / advice requested / Show & Tell / Artist showcase	4	27th March 2006 06:59 PM
Critique this song/recording/mix please...	SoundChances	Work in progress / advice requested / Show & Tell / Artist showcase	2	2nd June 2005 11:06 PM

14th June 2008, 10:27 PM	#1
larrykane Gear addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 325	PLEASE CRITIQUE THIS GIRL, SONG, AND MIX- thanks! Hi All, This is my daughters first recording and I was hoping for some input prior to final mix. Thanks so much The song is 'WHICH IS THE WAY 2 YOUR HEART' the first one in the link below-thanks again mix questions;The bass is sampled acoustic bass is it sufficient? There is one vocal word in first verse that has one echo return-keep it/lose it? Drum kit-does it need reamping or sufficient? Music page of His Legacy - MP3 music page on SoundClick __________________ There are three kinds of people in this world- those who are good at math and those who are not

16th June 2008, 08:54 PM	#6
dylansmale Lives for gear Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah Posts: 1,334	doesn't seem like anything innovative or new, but the fact that the singer is a female is a plus sign in the industry I'm guessing. The vocals though, are unmoving, but familiar sounding. They seem to lack heart and any emotion what so ever, except for a girl trying to sound like a temptress but not being motivated for the part and being the slave of some sick act (seriously thats what crosses my mind second or third). Not only that but the tune has been beaten to death by other artists. Other than that, I find it catchy and pretty well recorded. Guitar is blah, but I guess it fits well with what your going for. Not enough emphasis on the drums I'm thinking. __________________ BAND PAGE: www.myspace.com/capsul3cid

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

15th June 2008, 08:23 PM	#2
mdme_sadie Gear addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 391	I'll be honest (this is going to be brutal, but it's tough love), this girl deserves a better backing track than this. It sounds like Casiotone hell, OK maybe that's harsh, but it's bad, no the bass is not sufficient, the arrangement needs a lot of work. You have to decide which way you want to go here, either (a)Very synthetic, retro blips, lo-fi, but with high quality effects, reverbs, delays etc applied to make it sound awesome, or (b) Full sounding backing, with big arrangement etc. Part of that decision is going to be budget considerations, however general arrangement wont cost you much. The song itself also doesn't seem to go anywhere, I would re-work out the structure of the song and how you want it to build, where you want it to go and how you want it to end in particular. As it is it sounds like you only have enough material here for a song of about half it's current length. Back to the bass, I would consider buying a very cheap second hand bass for under $100 and playing in the whole part direct, or even using another instrument, maybe the piano should take on the bassline leaving more room in the mids for her voice? Percussion wise there are some problems too with the rhythm and groove, consider adding in a rake or washboard even (think like in The Man Who Sold the World style rhythm under that) to add so the tone that I think you're trying to head towards, gospel with something a little sultry and early 20th century Congo style with touches of Latin American elements. The piano needs to be reworked, it feels like it's not in time with her or the rest (either she needs to be on time with the piano exactly or the piano needs to be moved to be on time with her) the sound must be tight on the "Which is the way 2 your heart" segments, otherwise it sounds like a school practice rather than a tight band, I would also maybe during those segments work out a counterpoint melody and rhythm on the piano to compliment the voices rhythm rather than over-emphasizing that part (which makes it sound like a rough sketch, the piano leading the vocal as a teacher would) maybe even drop piano a lot lower, go for an organ sound there and bring up more of a gospel choir to give it a bit more oomph and let the vocal really take on the rhythm and become more percussive in itself. Overall I think that most of the sounds need a lot of work, they feel dead and un-timed and the space isn't right around the vocals themselves, and that's a shame as I think your daughter has a good voice that deserves a good tight and live feeling track under it.

15th June 2008, 08:37 PM	#3
peeder Lives for gear Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,570	Well I think its good the track sucks because the singer is good and when you find a diamond in the rough like that it's actually ironically more motivating than when you hear something that sounds full up and then you judge them vs. everybody else. In that sense, what the track does is make you think the singer has tons of potential, they just need someone who can produce. If the track fulfilled that potential, then you'd just judge them vs. the herd of already-professional banshees and that would be tough.

16th June 2008, 07:24 PM	#5
scrizly Gear interested Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 13	I agree with the comments above. The tune doesn't really go anywhere and feels a little lifeless / sterile. It needs some funktification! I do think your daughter has a really nice sounding voice though. Good luck!

17th June 2008, 03:19 AM	#8
peeder Lives for gear Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,570	Toss the groove. Let the band play live with the singer and build on there. The groove is awful and unsalvageable. The comps aren't so great either...I can clearly pick them out. Mr. robmix did a Chrissy Aguilera gospel thing that you ought to listen to, it's on his site I think. Here: Elicit Song Player "Soar" Sorry to present how far away the "target" is...