"All I See Is You" Production Advice

[Mark Kaufman]

Just finished recording this one...first pass...any advice on sound? Shooting for a Country/Pop style, sort of a cross between Rubber Soul and Nashville Skyline. What would you add or do different? Thanks. -mk

SoundClick artist: Mark Kaufman - Mark Kaufman, sometimes known as Lyle, is a rock-oriented singer-songwriter from Minneapolis. He ha

All I See Is You

Moonlight lays like linen on a sleepy midnight lake
But all I see is you
Sunlight crowns the distant mountain caps as morning breaks
But all I see is you

I should be wand'ring blindly through my years
And the one thing saving me is you
And now as all my darkness disappears
Here in my dreams all I see is you

There's a gypsy eagle gliding in a twilight sky
But all I see is you
There's a restless wind-a-waltzin' with some harvest rye
But all I see is you

I should be wand'ring blindly through my years
And the one thing saving me is you
And now as all my darkness disappears
Here in my dreams all I see is you

All I ever could possess or purchase
Would just fade beside the light around you
Love won't find a way unless it searches
I must have loved you before I found you

I should be wand'ring blindly through my years
And the one thing saving me is you
And now as all my darkness disappears
Here in my dreams all I see is you

Moonlight lays like linen on a sleepy midnight lake
But all I see is you
All I see is you...

©2008 Lyrics Robert George, Music Mark Kaufman

[Mr. Liszt]

I see the cross between The Beatles and Bob Dylan. But I do not see, if you mean in a modern sense since we are in 2008, the "Country/Pop."

Since you asked for production advice...

What do you mean by "Country/Pop?" You don't mean modern chart territory country do you? I am 99% sure you don't but this is far from even being close to the caliber of modern country in a writing, engineering, performance or production sense. But like I said I am pretty sure that you are not going for that.

Instrumental refrains are really neat. Best part.

Vocal performance is not great. Intonation and character issues. Have the singer try a few different styles and maybe even try a different singer too. It has that non-singer trying to sing generic homemade kinda feel. I am sure that the singer can make this sound great but he has to realize what sounds good and what sounds bad. Now there is too much bad. Have him try to open up a bit. Have him sing it very delicate for a few takes and have him song it very rough for a few and see if you catch on to an interesting sound. He is not in a character. Every song has to have a character. If you want people to like it it has to be an interesting one. It doesn't even have to be perfect in terms of pitch but HAS to be something worth listening to.

Too derivative.

The first chords of every verse, G - Bm - C - G and to some extent the melody and vibe remind me too much of "Girl From The North Country."

The nice melodic hook of the song, "All I see is you" unfortunately sounds too much like one of the major melodic hooks in "Two Of Us" by the Beatles.

So, yeah you kinda took a little from the Beatles and little from Dylan which is cool but in the case of this song it is too obvious and not very original. Both deal breakers for me.

Lyrically there are not any brilliant turns of phrase like one needs for great songs. Too much repetition of the "All I see I see is you." Second verse change it up where those phrases happen. How many words rhyme with the word you:

RhymeZone: you

Find an interesting word that rhymes with you that changes things up a bit. Or keep the "you" but change some other words. For example... The first and second verses both talk about things the the writer knows is there but doesn't "see" because he is so obsessed with her. Why not in the second verse talk about things that the writer "needs" but never even thinks about because he only "needs" her. Change the last line of each phrase to "All I NEED is you." Or change the phrase to "All I FEEL is you." You don't just see a lover! You need and feel them too. There are all sort of clever and interesting things to be found here. I came up with that in like 5 seconds. You guys have all day.

I would take out those lousy drums or at least arrange them more like a drummer would ply them. Maybe you might sacrifice some energy by removing the drums but you will gain a lot more. Strategic placement of the shaker might be more than enough.

[Mark Kaufman]

Excellent advice, Mr. Liszt! Much appreciated.

Thanks!

-Mark

[Awedeeoh]

I agree with alot of what mr liszt said

the one thing that was bothering me the whole song was those drums...live drums or at least better samples would really give this song more energy...and played differently as well. Other than that tis a catchy little tune, really dylanish.

[Mark Kaufman]

Originally Posted by Awedeeoh

I agree with alot of what mr liszt said

the one thing that was bothering me the whole song was those drums...live drums or at least better samples would really give this song more energy...and played differently as well. Other than that tis a catchy little tune, really dylanish.

Thank you, Awedeeoh. It just got picked up by an Indie, so I guess my lame demo squeaked by and did the trick.

But these critiques are excellent...I'm not interested in being a performer, just in selling songs. The better I can produce, the easier it will be to make a sale.