Old 11th November 2010
  #1
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Work in progress

This is a rough mix of a song I co-wrote with a female vocalist. I'm thinking of adding more layers and some real drums. What do you think it needs? Thanks!!


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Old 11th November 2010
  #2
Gear maniac
 

Hmm.. some guitars?
Definitely some kind of Bass.
Her Vocals are kind of muddy.
Old 11th November 2010
  #3
Lives for gear
 

Actually you did exactly the things I was going to suggest you should do. I was thinking you could do with a synth pad to occupy the top-end and a bit of percussion. You brought them in at around 1.02. Well done!

The verses feel a bit long though. I think you could add a bit of novelty to them a bit sooner. Just some small bit of electronic percussion or something. Anything really.

I don't hear real drums on this track at all though. I advise against it - it's got a real Human League/Ladytron/Komputer feel to it and I don't know what you have in mind there with real drums. Also kind of reminds me of a guy who recorded under the name Laptop in the early 2000s. Did a song called "Nothing to declare" and another called "I'm so Happy you Failed". I think real drums might actually kill the vibe.

I'd like to hear more of the chorus. I think you could have at least one more chorus, probably two. It feels a bit verse-heavy and the chorus is so much stronger and more individual than the verse.

Plus you've got a lovely hook in that flattened-third-note descent at the end of the chorus line (all those "me" "-ese" "ee" sound endings). You should make a bit more of that particular bit of melody if you can. That for me is the real high-point of the song. Maybe double the vocal an octave up, or add a megaphone effect backing mirroring it, or echo it on a synth or something)

Normally I wouldn't say this, but I think you could actually let this track pump a bit. A bit more wooziness, queasiness, craziness, phasey-ness.

VERY nice though - I like it and I normally hate this kind of thing! I'd go all out for retro synth craziness on it.

Minor issue, but I'd agree with the poster above - it does feel like it ought to be a bit brighter.
Old 11th November 2010
  #4
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Thanks guys, we've got to retrack the vox. We tracked them as scratch tracks and they were muddy from the start; I had her too close to the mic and didn't spend any time on pre/comp settings. I tried to fix it with eq and some subtle effects, but I couldn't fool you guys.

I'm definitely not turning this into an organic rock song, but I'm thinking drums might make it a kind of hybrid, and I would keep the electronic percussion for sure. I would make the drums as 80's-sounding as possible.

Binarymilton, I am very intrigued by your comments about the chorus. We were thinking the verse was stronger! You've got me thinking about the structure. Anyway, I will keep these things in mind as we tweak it. Thanks again!

Last edited by Core; 11th November 2010 at 05:57 PM.. Reason: typo
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