country pop tune im working on... think taylor swift

[s34nsm411]

tell me what you think about this track im engineering/producing with a songwriter. comments on the mix and the song itself would be much appreciated!

drums are programmed with slate 3.5 samples, reamped the electric through a 5150... not the most ideal amp but it worked out

SoundClick artist: s34nsm411 - studio account. everything here mixed/produced by me!
"countrypop"


edit: final version at http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/2093596/laurensong_adams.mp3

[ohmicide]

[Revren Jesse]

I wanna hear a bit more vocal clarity. It's a bit marble-mouthed, with the effect and tone. Some words have to be deciphered by deductive reasoning. I think a pop song like this should do all of the work for the listener (I know... Louie Louie was a big hit, back in the day, blah, blah, blah). I also want to hear the BGVs more.

It sounds like you're going in a good direction, though. I don't really listen to this type of music, ever... but it's pretty catchy.

[Marty Long]

I want this song for the Steven Slate Drums audio demos section.. PM me!!!! What SSD kit is this?

[JSG]

I agree with the previous post regarding the need for more vocal clarity, including the BGVs. Instrumentally, I think the mix is very good. If your goal was to immulate the sound of Taylor Swift I think you've come very close. The arrangement and vocal style are pretty much cookie cutter copies of Taylor Swifts songs, almost too close. If your artist is looking to pitch songs to Taylor this might do it. If she is trying to promote herself as the artist, then she needs to find her own sound. Just my opinion, and that counts for nothing.

[ohmicide]

Originally Posted by JSG

If your goal was to immulate the sound of Taylor Swift I think you've come very close. The arrangement and vocal style are pretty much cookie cutter copies of Taylor Swifts songs, almost too close.

agreed

electronic drum intro was a little too much though, been hearing it way too much done exactly the same way

[s34nsm411]

thanks for the replies! and yeah upon further listening the vocals could be brought out a little more... i wanted to keep the background vocals far in the back for this one though... but they probably could use a little more oomph in the chorus

Originally Posted by Marty Long

I want this song for the Steven Slate Drums audio demos section.. PM me!!!! What SSD kit is this?

pm sent... its the CLA kit but with kick1b replaced with the neverkick

Originally Posted by alehoe

agreed

electronic drum intro was a little too much though, been hearing it way too much done exactly the same way

yeah it might be overdone... i wanted it to sound as radio as possible though. real drums throughout maybe?

[Marty Long]

i guess its safe to say that slate did a good job on the CLA kit cuz after listening to your mix I thought, "this sounds kinda CLAish"... haha.

But the mix is great and the song is great, you did a fantastic job capturing the current pop/country thing. Well done. I look forward to hearing more..

[ohmicide]

Originally Posted by s34nsm411

yeah it might be overdone... i wanted it to sound as radio as possible though. real drums throughout maybe?

well i guess you could leave it, just saying it's a weee too obviously ripped off that one song we all know by now lol

[s34nsm411]

got some new monitors (adam a7's) and tweaked this a bit, this should be the final mix

http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/2093596/laurensong_adams.mp3

better?

[Beaumaloe]

I'm a fan of this kind of music and I think you've done a really good job musically. The only things missing for me musically (and this is nit-picking) is in the 2nd verse I would add a lead instrument to answer or build off of the vocal stanzas. Just to make the 2nd half of the 2nd verse build a little bit more. The same part could come back later at the last chorus. I like the guitar part that comes in at the last chorus, so it could be something that compliments that too. The other thing is the vocal part at the bridge. The singer sounds pretty compelling to me for the most part, but when it comes time to belt that high note, it's kinda a let down when she goes into falsetto. I'd put money down that you tried it full voice, but it didn't work out. Any chance you could get a few drinks in her and let her really go for it again? Just a thought, since it's the highest point in the song.

Lyrically, I had a bigger issue with the song, in the chorus specifically. I think mixing metaphors there and not anywhere else is making the lyrical hook have less of an impact. Here's what I mean. "I'm just a shooting star" is fine. "Don't crush my paper heart": also fine. But when you put them together, it doesn't make perfect sense. It works ok, but it's not great. Unless the whole song (including the verses) plays with cliches, then you'd be ok. Since the verses tell a normal story with very little metaphor, the chorus should stick to one idea or theme for the metaphor. So if she starts out a star, stick to astrological things, or at least celebrity things. If she has a paper heart, stick to heart or love note things. Maybe "star" for the first half of the chorus, "paper heart" for the second, that way they're not conflicting ideas. I know this might be Monday-morning quarterbacking, but lyrics have so much to do with this style of music.

I'm rambling, but I think the song has so much potential it might be worth a rewrite. Good luck!

[Beaumaloe]

I just noticed you started this post a month ago. I thought it was started yesterday. Had I noticed it was your final mix, I probably wouldn't have suggested a rewrite. Sorry about that chief.

[Jake 2.0]

Sweet mix man. Id suggest re touching up the vox to add back in some of the natrual vibrato . Sounds like a lot of strait lines on the vocals (autotune, melodyne) more so in the verses than the choruses . sounds a bit un- natural.

[s34nsm411]

Originally Posted by Beaumaloe

I'm a fan of this kind of music and I think you've done a really good job musically. The only things missing for me musically (and this is nit-picking) is in the 2nd verse I would add a lead instrument to answer or build off of the vocal stanzas. Just to make the 2nd half of the 2nd verse build a little bit more. The same part could come back later at the last chorus. I like the guitar part that comes in at the last chorus, so it could be something that compliments that too. The other thing is the vocal part at the bridge. The singer sounds pretty compelling to me for the most part, but when it comes time to belt that high note, it's kinda a let down when she goes into falsetto. I'd put money down that you tried it full voice, but it didn't work out. Any chance you could get a few drinks in her and let her really go for it again? Just a thought, since it's the highest point in the song.

Lyrically, I had a bigger issue with the song, in the chorus specifically. I think mixing metaphors there and not anywhere else is making the lyrical hook have less of an impact. Here's what I mean. "I'm just a shooting star" is fine. "Don't crush my paper heart": also fine. But when you put them together, it doesn't make perfect sense. It works ok, but it's not great. Unless the whole song (including the verses) plays with cliches, then you'd be ok. Since the verses tell a normal story with very little metaphor, the chorus should stick to one idea or theme for the metaphor. So if she starts out a star, stick to astrological things, or at least celebrity things. If she has a paper heart, stick to heart or love note things. Maybe "star" for the first half of the chorus, "paper heart" for the second, that way they're not conflicting ideas. I know this might be Monday-morning quarterbacking, but lyrics have so much to do with this style of music.

I'm rambling, but I think the song has so much potential it might be worth a rewrite. Good luck!

hey those are some great ideas! but yeah unfortunately the tracking for this is long in the past and i dont see us going back to redo anything at this point. and yeah the lyrics probably could a a little better but they were written during tracking in about an hour. glad you like it!

oh, and that high note before the bridge-lowchorus part actually is full voice! (if thats the one you mean... can you save me nooOOWWWW) the tone of her voice kinda does make it sound falsetto though... unless youre talking about when everything drops and she says "ohhh im fallin' fallin..." which does has some falsetto

Originally Posted by Jake 2.0

Sweet mix man. Id suggest re touching up the vox to add back in some of the natrual vibrato . Sounds like a lot of strait lines on the vocals (autotune, melodyne) more so in the verses than the choruses . sounds a bit un- natural.

yeah theres a few words in the verse that could have been a little better. our tracking time was limited so she only had a couple run throughs of each part and we spent most of the time on the chorus. ill see if i can not destroy it so much in melodyne though :p

[Jake 2.0]

I hear ya dude! keep up the great work

[ohmicide]

Originally Posted by Jake 2.0

Sweet mix man. Id suggest re touching up the vox to add back in some of the natrual vibrato . Sounds like a lot of strait lines on the vocals (autotune, melodyne) more so in the verses than the choruses . sounds a bit un- natural.

i noticed this too, sound like melodyne