Simple song, simple mix. Opinions?

audiofreeek · 27th March 2009

Alright, one of my first posts here.. been lurking around for many years, and finally joined a few years back. I LOVE GEARSLUTZ!

I'll start off by saying that I don't plan on doing much with this song.. but would like some opinions what other slutz think! It is VERY basic. Now, I must explain a few things so anybody will understand me and my situation/post. haha

I wrote and recorded this song which I wrote for a very beautiful woman!! I know that's cheezy.. but it might get you the attention you want as in my case.

I play guitar in a blues/rock/funk band, and also have a death metal band.
I'm all over the place with music. I DO engineer for a living at a studio.
HOWEVER! When I get lame idea's for songs like this, I need to write and record it as QUICKLY as possible.. being a metalhead, this kind of stuff really bothers me if it gets stuck in my head! I am also not very confident with my voice, and I don't sing very often. That all being said, (I know someone will end up saying you should always do things the right way first) but I really rushed this.. spend about an hour tracking and did a super quick "throw up the faders" kind of mix. I didn't want to superproduce it or I would have! I just wanted her to hear it. I didn't plan on showing anybody else but after a few opinions, I thought I'd ask the world of gearslutz where I reside and read EVERY DAY for HOURS AND HOURS!

Enough talk. Enjoy (or don't!)

FWIW : I also didn't squish it for the sake of loudness. I prefer atleast SOME dynamics (and yes you read correct, I'm a metalhead

). but seriously now, that's why there's a volume knob on stereo's! (which I'm ALWAYS turning down with cd's these days

and then it doesn't translate the same!)

NOTE!!! There is a weird sound, almost like a digital clip in the second chorus on the word "forever". This is NOT in the original wav and must have happened in the conversion to mp3 which I DID NOT bounce from pro tools. I used a cheap program which is probably the reason for it. I'm happy I noticed it first!

audiofreeek · 27th March 2009

Anyone?

audiofreeek · 27th March 2009

No one has anything to say? ANY feedback would be appreciated!

RKMusic · 27th March 2009

I liked it. Reminds me a little of old Lenny Kravitz (actually, is there such a thing as "new" Lenny Kravitz?) with the very simple arrangement.

Without drums, it took me a few seconds to latch onto the timing. The guitar sounds nice and your voice fits the feel of the song well. I'm guessing you know the vocals are pitchy, but for this kind of stripped down, tugging-at-heart-strings song, it worked okay.

Lyrics - sometimes you are singing _about_ this girl and then you switch to singing _to_ her. I would pick one perspective and stick with it. And if you really want to make an impression on her, get specific about what is so beautiful about her and describe it in detail. Is it her smile? Her eyes? The way she talks?

audiofreeek · 28th March 2009

Thanks for the feedback!! Of course I know my voice is pitchy. As I stated in the original post, I rush myself when doing softer stuff. But like you said, I would rather leave it the way it is...especially rather than alter it with pitch correction!

I would rather have the performance value.

About the perspective thing... the person I wrote the song for.. told me it was her dream to have a song written for her AND sang to her.. so I did exactly that within the song itself. I thought it was clever.. I don't know if you would agree? I definitely made my impression!!

I did not use a click.. which I normally would for ANY other project.
It was meant to be like you were in the room.. in a live setting.. therefore I didn't track vocals until they were perfect. I tracked 2 takes of guitar, chose one and tracked a few of vox. I settled after a few takes switching between hi/low. In no way do I consider myself a good singer and I do not sing on a regular basis.. I play guitar.

Thanks again!! This is not something I do very often and just wanted a different mind and set of ears to critique. thumbsup

audiofreeek · 31st March 2009

Any one want to guess the mic/pre/comp I used for vocals or the acoustic?

john caldwell · 31st March 2009

I like this quite a bit. Your use of simple phrasing, texture and space is compelling. I have no objection to the narrator's change in perspective, and I think the "If I could be in heaven, I would go to hell.." is very strong and plays beautifully into the mood and soundscape you have here.

I'd not abandon your role as vocalist, but I do think some refinement in your style is worth pursuing. Joseph Arthur comes to mind as a singer songwriter who is no one's idea of a technically proper singer, but he does deliver his vocal in a most compelling (and often pretty) way. Perhaps you'd enjoy checking him out given the work you offer here. Your use of the octave double is interesting and adds to your slightly trippy atmosphere. What got you interested in the octaves? Did you experiment with the ratio of the two parts?

FWIW, I'd have permitted your Em chord to ring rather than mute at 1:14. It's a petty point probably but the fluidity you've otherwise established is undone there, and there is no payoff for doing so, as I hear it.

Your file is so full of compression artifacts that I can't comment on your recording chain with much confidence. The guitar sound at the opening is gravely affected by file processing. How about reposting?

Best wishes,

John-

audiofreeek · 1st April 2009

Thanks for you feedback! Greatly appreciated.

I will definitely re-post a .wav as soon as I can get around to it.

The harmonies just happened. I usually just hear the song in my head and have to get it out as quickly as possible without getting agitated.

The pause, well I appreciate your idea but I really like it! I come from a death metal background and have pauses all over my music.. just my style I guess haha

I know the mp3 sounds horrible compared to the original wav!

Thanks again.

27th March 2009	#4
RKMusic Gear nut Joined: Nov 2008 Location: Southeastern WI Posts: 96	I liked it. Reminds me a little of old Lenny Kravitz (actually, is there such a thing as "new" Lenny Kravitz?) with the very simple arrangement. Without drums, it took me a few seconds to latch onto the timing. The guitar sounds nice and your voice fits the feel of the song well. I'm guessing you know the vocals are pitchy, but for this kind of stripped down, tugging-at-heart-strings song, it worked okay. Lyrics - sometimes you are singing _about_ this girl and then you switch to singing _to_ her. I would pick one perspective and stick with it. And if you really want to make an impression on her, get specific about what is so beautiful about her and describe it in detail. Is it her smile? Her eyes? The way she talks? __________________ +++++++++++++++ My Website - Ron Kujawa Music SoundCloud

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27th March 2009	#2
audiofreeek Gear interested Joined: Feb 2008 Location: WINTERPEG Posts: 24 Thread Starter	Anyone?

28th March 2009	#5
audiofreeek Gear interested Joined: Feb 2008 Location: WINTERPEG Posts: 24 Thread Starter	Thanks for the feedback!! Of course I know my voice is pitchy. As I stated in the original post, I rush myself when doing softer stuff. But like you said, I would rather leave it the way it is...especially rather than alter it with pitch correction! I would rather have the performance value. About the perspective thing... the person I wrote the song for.. told me it was her dream to have a song written for her AND sang to her.. so I did exactly that within the song itself. I thought it was clever.. I don't know if you would agree? I definitely made my impression!! I did not use a click.. which I normally would for ANY other project. It was meant to be like you were in the room.. in a live setting.. therefore I didn't track vocals until they were perfect. I tracked 2 takes of guitar, chose one and tracked a few of vox. I settled after a few takes switching between hi/low. In no way do I consider myself a good singer and I do not sing on a regular basis.. I play guitar. Thanks again!! This is not something I do very often and just wanted a different mind and set of ears to critique. thumbsup

31st March 2009	#6
audiofreeek Gear interested Joined: Feb 2008 Location: WINTERPEG Posts: 24 Thread Starter	Any one want to guess the mic/pre/comp I used for vocals or the acoustic?

31st March 2009	#7
john caldwell Lives for gear Joined: Jul 2005 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 1,169	I like this quite a bit. Your use of simple phrasing, texture and space is compelling. I have no objection to the narrator's change in perspective, and I think the "If I could be in heaven, I would go to hell.." is very strong and plays beautifully into the mood and soundscape you have here. I'd not abandon your role as vocalist, but I do think some refinement in your style is worth pursuing. Joseph Arthur comes to mind as a singer songwriter who is no one's idea of a technically proper singer, but he does deliver his vocal in a most compelling (and often pretty) way. Perhaps you'd enjoy checking him out given the work you offer here. Your use of the octave double is interesting and adds to your slightly trippy atmosphere. What got you interested in the octaves? Did you experiment with the ratio of the two parts? FWIW, I'd have permitted your Em chord to ring rather than mute at 1:14. It's a petty point probably but the fluidity you've otherwise established is undone there, and there is no payoff for doing so, as I hear it. Your file is so full of compression artifacts that I can't comment on your recording chain with much confidence. The guitar sound at the opening is gravely affected by file processing. How about reposting? Best wishes, John-

1st April 2009	#8
audiofreeek Gear interested Joined: Feb 2008 Location: WINTERPEG Posts: 24 Thread Starter	Thanks for you feedback! Greatly appreciated. I will definitely re-post a .wav as soon as I can get around to it. The harmonies just happened. I usually just hear the song in my head and have to get it out as quickly as possible without getting agitated. The pause, well I appreciate your idea but I really like it! I come from a death metal background and have pauses all over my music.. just my style I guess haha I know the mp3 sounds horrible compared to the original wav! Thanks again.