Started Out

[Jax]

Those drums are beggin' for distorted elec gtr at 2:14. Oh wait, it's there, but really faint and meek sounding. Lose or greatly lower the clean gtr and put the dist gtr more up front to make the vocalist sound more desparate. Other than that, the song builds and closes nicely. Don't be afraid to make it more raw and edgy.

Somehow the overall drum sound needs a tiny bit more clarity. Especially the snare, which at 2:14 is a couple notches too low to my ear, but just about right a minute or so later. Try to find the muddiest areas in the drum mix and scoop them out. Same with the dist gtrs, they don't bite enough.

The vocs are very well sung, but the guy never really gets desparate sounding when the song builds.

The song needs the chrous to jump out at you more. It sounds even keel and polite pretty much all the way through.

I like the spooky whispering at the end with the X-files-ish synth bouncing around in water.

My 2 cents.

[Bart-Jan]

Hi Jax,

Thanks for listening and comments, much appreciated.
I think your right about the dist. gtrs.
The drums should sound a little bit lo-fi.
Thanks again

Anyone else???

Bart-Jan

[JKL]

I like the tune a lot. I don't want to make any false assumptions about it though, so I'll hold back any detailed commentary. I'll try an analogy... If you squint your eyes, almost closed, and look at your surroundings, everything looks kind of cool, a bit blurred, hazy, surreal. After awhile, you open your eyes, and all those things you were looking at become defined and more intense. While I was listening, I wanted to open my eyes about hafway through, but it never happened. Does that make any sense? I really wanted the tune to start driving but it stayed hazy. Really like the tune though...

Jon

[DAT]

Nice vocals whats mic and pres did you use vocals are great

[Bart-Jan]

Thanks JKL and DAT for comments.
JKL, don't hold back any commentary and tell me things I don't wanna hear....
I like your analogy and sometimes you don't want to open your eyes.

DAT, the mic was a Blue Mouse true a UA 6176.
But most of the sound of the vocal is the singer himself.
BTW we didn't use any FX on the vocals.

Thanks again.

Bart-Jan

[JKL]

Well, at the point that Jax was refering to,(drums go to the hi-hat), just to shift it into a new gear, I thought it would be nice to "unveil" the drums a bit, bring them foward a tish, and maybe add either or both a sustaining power chord type guitar and maybe a chunka-chunka (root-fifth on eighth notes) semi-distorted guitar just to drive the tune home. Might go totally against what you have in mind for the tune, but it feels to me like it wants to open up at that point. Might add a refreshing dimension, or it might suck, but it would be easy enough to check it out, no? What are you running the drums through for the lo-fi sound? If it's a plug, maybe bypass it (or open it up a bit) at that point.
Just some suggestions off the top of my ears. It's your tune though.(I think?) Is this your own creation, or did you just track/mix it?

Jon

[studjo]

really nice song

I like the drum room sound a lot. Did you nuke your room mics?
The dist. git could be a tad louder as said before.
I think the song has a tension in it and it never resolves it - I like that.

Jo

[Bart-Jan]

Hi Jon,

It's not my tune. We just track and mix ITB.
Don't use plug-ins on the drums, we recorded with gtr pedals on the drums, voodoo pedal.
The only plugs are EQ's. For OH's we made are own binaural head (Chad Blake) kind of idea.
We tried to make the sound already on the recordings. We used one more OH mic ( omni) compressed a lot.

Thanks very much for suggestions for the song, I'll pass them true, as I said its not my song.

Bart-Jan

[Scriabin]

I agree with most of the comments already mentioned. This song is crying to open up around the 2:14 mark. I'm hearing a full on band with distorted guitar, hard hitting drums, and strings.
You can't force a song to be something its not, you have to let go and let the song breath. Good songs will take on a life of their own. We're merely the medium through which they pass.

As of now, the song feels like its building to something but its never really allowed to and the listener feels cheated at the end.

[timtoonz]

Just to mix things up a little, I agree with everyone else that the song doesn't quite build as much as you expect it to, but I disagree about the dist. guitars. At least, not chords or rhythm...

I'd say you need to bring in a counter-melody of some kind. Either an echoey, droning single note guitar part, or a background vocal, maybe something that sort of echoes or answers the lead, a step behind it, then joining up at the end - either doubling or with harmony.

It's a pretty good song and it has some similarities to stuff by Coldplay or Radiohead. I'd say listen to the way those guys always bring in a new harmonic/melodic complication in the later choruses or the bridge... Something simple, hooky, and building.

Just a thought. Nice work so far.

[jbuntz]

$50 says that singer likes Catherine Wheel. Sounds good though.