Pop/Rock Song, Your opinions/Will it sell?

[Tempest19]

So I've written this pop song. Share your opinons or give an suggestions you like.

Everything is played by me and I sang it too. You can even comment on the mix even though my mixing skills need a lot of work.

If anybody wants any details on how it was recorded I'd be happy to post them.

I forgot to mention theres no bass in the song as I don't own a bass guitar or know anybody that does :( I tried bass from my keyboard but it sucked.

Thanks,

CT

[Tempest19]

Whoops!

Forgot to put the file on there. Wouldn't fit on Gearslutz.

YourFileHost.com - Free hosting for ALL your files

Its streaming.

[stevie_vp]

hey i really like this.. i think it could sell.. not on a very big scale but i definetly see potential....
The mix is nice overall. misses some dynamics and better balances but its a good base...
You do really miss the bass guitar... if you want to you i could play the bass parts for you record them and send them to you? i offcourse dont exactly know what you want but i think i can give it a nice pop bass
let me know.. all the best!
/
s

[drakewire]

Some reason I cant hear the stuff on file host... So I went to Myspace...
Allow me to speak honest with you... I am a musician (first and foremost) and a an A&R person at a small record label (where I work is irrelevant)... Your music has been done before... Will it sell? Sure, why not. You will sell exactly five copies a month. Find a style that is unique you will sell thousands. Find a really cool style with better production you may even go gold if you have the right producer...
Good luck...

[Tempest19]

Originally Posted by stevie_vp

hey i really like this.. i think it could sell.. not on a very big scale but i definetly see potential....
The mix is nice overall. misses some dynamics and better balances but its a good base...
You do really miss the bass guitar... if you want to you i could play the bass parts for you record them and send them to you? i offcourse dont exactly know what you want but i think i can give it a nice pop bass
let me know.. all the best!
/
s

Hey man thanks for the offer.

Firstly what I meant by sell was, I'm not looking to be the artist, I just sing on my songs because I enjoy it but I'm not a strong enough singer to be a recording artist. I'd like to write for artists so I meant could I sell this track.

If you'd like to have a go at the bass by all means drop me an email. I wasn't thinking anything too complicated just the typical root picking to drive the chorus along but maybe playing octaves on some notes and a little something fancy on the bridge like I heard on 'Over My Head' by The Fray. Thats pretty cool.

Check your PM's

Thanks again.

[Tempest19]

Originally Posted by drakewire

Some reason I cant hear the stuff on file host... So I went to Myspace...
Allow me to speak honest with you... I am a musician (first and foremost) and a an A&R person at a small record label (where I work is irrelevant)... Your music has been done before... Will it sell? Sure, why not. You will sell exactly five copies a month. Find a style that is unique you will sell thousands. Find a really cool style with better production you may even go gold if you have the right producer...
Good luck...

Lol, I asked for advice on my song not for somebody to tell me to change my whole career.

Thanks anyway.

[drakewire]

Get use to it... As a musician in this business your career is listening to the guys who put there money where your music is... There is little if any creative freedom in the business of music, even the most creative are advised.
Dont change your career, accept a reality though my friend....

I wasnt being mean at all, I was being helpful... Gear Slutz is therapy for me...

Your music is good, just not very original...

[anteupaudio]

Originally Posted by drakewire

Some reason I cant hear the stuff on file host... So I went to Myspace...
Allow me to speak honest with you... I am a musician (first and foremost) and a an A&R person at a small record label (where I work is irrelevant)... Your music has been done before... Will it sell? Sure, why not. You will sell exactly five copies a month. Find a style that is unique you will sell thousands. Find a really cool style with better production you may even go gold if you have the right producer...
Good luck...

Where you work is far from irrelevant if you go around making comments like this. The label you're working for allows you to be a purist apparently.. That's great! But it's also something that would pretty much never fly at a major label these days. Even established, well-known artists have albums rejected all the time. Most labels prefer to play it safe. Maybe yours is the exception but it's certainly not the rule.

More often than not, A & R people are too afraid to sign something unique. More often than not, when A & R guys *DO* find something unique, they mess it all up by hiring their friend who just did the last (insert shitty artist of your choice here) record to make the unique artist sound just like everyone else. Sure... There are exceptions, but they are few and far between.

[Tempest19]

I never once claimed my music is original. But I do like the music or should I say style that I make.

I could start making something different but I wouldn't enjoy it.

Thanks anyway.

Does anybody have anymore comments about the song?

I'm gonna sing a second lead over the last chorus to give it some once I get rid of my blocked nose.

[drakewire]

Where you work is far from irrelevant if you go around making comments like this. The label you're working for allows you to be a purist apparently.. That's great! But it's also something that would pretty much never fly at a major label these days. Even established, well-known artists have albums rejected all the time. Most labels prefer to play it safe. Maybe yours is the exception but it's certainly not the rule.

More often than not, A & R people are too afraid to sign something unique. More often than not, when A & R guys *DO* find something unique, they mess it all up by hiring their friend who just did the last (insert shitty artist of your choice here) record to make the unique artist sound just like everyone else. Sure... There are exceptions, but they are few and far between.

Most labels, prefer the approach of slightly different, but still unique approach. Sure I know where you are coming from with "Band wagon" jumping, but as for me, my good buddies who work at Arista, Sony BMG, Reprise, Capitol, Columbia, and even some of my other guys Like Fearless, Epitaph, etc. They aren't looking for another Fall Out Boy, sure if they found a band with Fall Out Boy's following they would sign them in a minute...

These days, its all about acquiring acts, not developing them. The kid here, is a good musician, with decent songs, the unique factor is not there. Labels like Subpop, Fearless, ATO, etc are all looking for something unique, his chances of getting signed to a major label are next to nil unless, he would all of a sudden have a myspace following in the millions...

However, Independent Labels, don't need a huge following, but they definitely need the unique factor.

However, what I tell every good musician I meet with good songs, in today's market, you are your own label. You are given so many resources today that musicians 20 years ago never had. So, do you need a label. Usually, (didnt work too well for Tila Tequila). Thats why other acts like Secondhand Serenade sold out, Colbie Calliet (spelling), Mindless Self Indulgence, and Scene Aesthetic, Hollywood Undead, etc. All get signed...

In today's market, you still need to be unique, just not too far left or right that people are left scratching their heads. Bands like the Mars Volta, although semi far left, weren't always, At The Drive in was a rock band with a style of their own...

I hope you get my point...

[anteupaudio]

Originally Posted by drakewire

Most labels, prefer the approach of slightly different, but still unique approach. Sure I know where you are coming from with "Band wagon" jumping, but as for me, my good buddies who work at Arista, Sony BMG, Reprise, Capitol, Columbia, and even some of my other guys Like Fearless, Epitaph, etc. They aren't looking for another Fall Out Boy, sure if they found a band with Fall Out Boy's following they would sign them in a minute...

In today's market, you still need to be unique, just not too far left or right that people are left scratching their heads. Bands like the Mars Volta, although semi far left, weren't always, At The Drive in was a rock band with a style of their own...

I hope you get my point...

I agree that this is the image that labels and A & R guys try to portray.... However, from my own personal experiance and the experience of people close to me, I don't believe they usually act accordingly.

These are the same labels signing My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy and trying to pimp them as "something different" when, in fact, they're just a shitty version of something that's already been done a thousand times.

Most A & R guys are crapping their pants right now and afraid to take any risks because the business itself is falling apart rapidly and they don't want to get fired. Like I said, there are rare exceptions but no matter what your buddies at labels claim to think, feel, or believe 99% of what gets signed and played on the radio is the same old crap... aside from the fact that it's getting worse!

I really wish it were more like what you're saying... I even believe that a lot of the A & R guys feel the way you say they do. I just don't think most have the balls to act on it for fear they'll be fired. Who can blame them really?

[spandexstallion]

I've worked with some great artists, indie labels, and majors. . .and in my experience it's all about the song. it doesn't really matter whether or not something has been done before or not. It's all about writing songs that people can identify with, and that are memorable. After listening to this song, i can't remember the chorus, or much else about it. it's not that it's a bad song at all, just that it's lacking singable hooks. Probably not the song to break you into the business of songwriting. However, your lyrics did seem to fit together well, which is something a lot of people never really 'get'. I think if you listen to some of the 'greats' you will learn the anatomy of a song, and will be able to put out some good material. Perhaps even try co-writing with someone who's writing you respect.

If anyone feels like it, i've got some rough mixes of songs i've been working on up here, yeah it's myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/meantambourines

[spandexstallion]

i gave it another listen, and i think the chorus melody is nearly there, perhaps a stellar vocal performance could make it more memorable.

[drakewire]

Both of you are right in your assumptions. The My Chemical Romance assertion is a bit misplaced, sure they blatantly ripped off Cheap Trick, Queen, and others. But they did it in style. Not to mention its very hard for the industry to deny an act who at the time had nearly 100,000 friends on myspace and getting roughly 50,000 plays a day at the time. There shows were packed with oglers and teenage "nu punk, my pants need to be really tight because Im emo" type people.
They were nothing new, but they were commercially viable. Our other friend here is very right when he said "Memorable Hooks slash Song", even Simon Cowell of 19th Street Entertainment and AI has said this a thousand times before. A song must be memorable so that people who are sitting at the desks at work find themselves humming to themselves "Sugar We're Going Down... Down".
Radio has a lot to do with the business of making even the worst productions, creativity, etc memorable. However, some songs no matter how much they stick it down your throat will be memorable. A&R's are not "shitting" themselves for fear of being fired. Hardly, its the complete opposite, the industry has never been better. With the advent of sites like Myspace, Tagworld, PureVolume, Music.com, and others that allow an A&R representative to check out an act without having to solicit anything, can monitor what the most important part of the business is, User Interest. Sure the spam factor on these huge social networking sites is very alive and well, a good A&R person can sift through the B.S very quickly and judge someone based on a point system of popularity. I.E lets say Joe Blow Artist and I will use my own music as an example since I do my own music as more of a hobby...

I have 2046 Friends, mostly real people as I have tried to limit the amount of bands and porn chicks I accept...

I have had 18360 Views to my page
I have 43379 plays, and I have only been on myspace since January 1. By most accounts, this is an excellent track record, not huge but over all pretty good. On Snocap, I have sold a total of 4309 tracks as of yet in three months. Which is not so good since I have nearly twenty songs. But, its good that Im making some money.

The point is, its not about whether or not a label thinks your great...
I am copying and pasting this. It was written by Steve Albini, I think its an excellent read...
Best Wishes,
Devon Drake
Drakewire


The Problem With Music
by Steve Albini
Whenever I talk to a band who are about to sign with a major label, I always end up thinking of them in a particular context. I imagine a trench, about four feet wide and five feet deep, maybe sixty yards long, filled with runny, decaying shit. I imagine these people, some of them good friends, some of them barely acquaintances, at one end of this trench. I also imagine a faceless industry lackey at the other end holding a fountain pen and a contract waiting to be signed. Nobody can see what's printed on the contract. It's too far away, and besides, the shit stench is making everybody's eyes water. The lackey shouts to everybody that the first one to swim the trench gets to sign the contract. Everybody dives in the trench and they struggle furiously to get to the other end. Two people arrive simultaneously and begin wrestling furiously, clawing each other and dunking each other under the shit. Eventually, one of them capitulates, and there's only one contestant left. He reaches for the pen, but the Lackey says "Actually, I think you need a little more development. Swim again, please. Backstroke". And he does of course.
Every major label involved in the hunt for new bands now has on staff a high-profile point man, an "A & R" rep who can present a comfortable face to any prospective band. The initials stand for "Artist and Repertoire." because historically, the A & R staff would select artists to record music that they had also selected, out of an available pool of each. This is still the case, though not openly. These guys are universally young [about the same age as the bands being wooed], and nowadays they always have some obvious underground rock credibility flag they can wave.
Lyle Preslar, former guitarist for Minor Threat, is one of them. Terry Tolkin, former NY independent booking agent and assistant manager at Touch and Go is one of them. Al Smith, former soundman at CBGB is one of them. Mike Gitter, former editor of XXX fanzine and contributor to Rip, Kerrang and other lowbrow rags is one of them. Many of the annoying turds who used to staff college radio stations are in their ranks as well. There are several reasons A & R scouts are always young. The explanation usually copped-to is that the scout will be "hip to the current musical "scene." A more important reason is that the bands will intuitively trust someone they think is a peer, and who speaks fondly of the same formative rock and roll experiences. The A & R person is the first person to make contact with the band, and as such is the first person to promise them the moon. Who better to promise them the moon than an idealistic young turk who expects to be calling the shots in a few years, and who has had no previous experience with a big record company. Hell, he's as naive as the band he's duping. When he tells them no one will interfere in their creative process, he probably even believes it. When he sits down with the band for the first time, over a plate of angel hair pasta, he can tell them with all sincerity that when they sign with company X, they're really signing with him and he's on their side. Remember that great gig I saw you at in '85? Didn't we have a blast. By now all rock bands are wise enough to be suspicious of music industry scum. There is a pervasive caricature in popular culture of a portly, middle aged ex-hipster talking a mile-a-minute, using outdated jargon and calling everybody "baby." After meeting "their" A & R guy, the band will say to themselves and everyone else, "He's not like a record company guy at all! He's like one of us." And they will be right. That's one of the reasons he was hired.
These A & R guys are not allowed to write contracts. What they do is present the band with a letter of intent, or "deal memo," which loosely states some terms, and affirms that the band will sign with the label once a contract has been agreed on. The spookiest thing about this harmless sounding little memo, is that it is, for all legal purposes, a binding document. That is, once the band signs it, they are under obligation to conclude a deal with the label. If the label presents them with a contract that the band don't want to sign, all the label has to do is wait. There are a hundred other bands willing to sign the exact same contract, so the label is in a position of strength. These letters never have any terms of expiration, so the band remain bound by the deal memo until a contract is signed, no matter how long that takes. The band cannot sign to another laborer or even put out its own material unless they are released from their agreement, which never happens. Make no mistake about it: once a band has signed a letter of intent, they will either eventually sign a contract that suits the label or they will be destroyed.
One of my favorite bands was held hostage for the better part of two years by a slick young "He's not like a label guy at all," A & R rep, on the basis of such a deal memo. He had failed to come through on any of his promises [something he did with similar effect to another well-known band], and so the band wanted out. Another label expressed interest, but when the A & R man was asked to release the band, he said he would need money or points, or possibly both, before he would consider it. The new label was afraid the price would be too dear, and they said no thanks. On the cusp of making their signature album, an excellent band, humiliated, broke up from the stress and the many months of inactivity. There's this band. They're pretty ordinary, but they're also pretty good, so they've attracted some attention. They're signed to a moderate-sized "independent" label owned by a distribution company, and they have another two albums owed to the label. They're a little ambitious. They'd like to get signed by a major label so they can have some security you know, get some good equipment, tour in a proper tour bus -- nothing fancy, just a little reward for all the hard work. To that end, they got a manager. He knows some of the label guys, and he can shop their next project to all the right people. He takes his cut, sure, but it's only 15%, and if he can get them signed then it's money well spent. Anyways, it doesn't cost them anything if it doesn't work. 15% of nothing isn't much! One day an A & R scout calls them, says he's 'been following them for a while now, and when their manager mentioned them to him, it just "clicked." Would they like to meet with him about the possibility of working out a deal with his label? Wow. Big Break time. They meet the guy, and y'know what -- he's not what they expected from a label guy. He's young and dresses pretty much like the band does. He knows all their favorite bands. He's like one of them. He tells them he wants to go to bat for them, to try to get them everything they want. He says anything is possible with the right attitude.
They conclude the evening by taking home a copy of a deal memo they wrote out and signed on the spot. The A & R guy was full of great ideas, even talked about using a name producer. Butch Vig is out of the question-he wants 100 g's and three points, but they can get Don Fleming for $30,000 plus three points. Even that's a little steep, so maybe they'll go with that guy who used to be in David Letterman's band. He only wants three points. Or they can have just anybody record it (like Warton Tiers, maybe-- cost you 5 or 7 grand] and have Andy Wallace remix it for 4 grand a track plus 2 points. It was a lot to think about. Well, they like this guy and they trust him. Besides, they already signed the deal memo. He must have been serious about wanting them to sign. They break the news to their current label, and the label manager says he wants them to succeed, so they have his blessing. He will need to be compensated, of course, for the remaining albums left on their contract, but he'll work it out with the label himself.
Sub Pop made millions from selling off Nirvana, and Twin Tone hasn't done bad either: 50 grand for the Babes and 60 grand for the Poster Children-- without having to sell a single additional record. It'll be something modest. The new label doesn't mind, so long as it's recoupable out of royalties. Well, they get the final contract, and it's not quite what they expected. They figure it's better to be safe than sorry and they turn it over to a lawyer--one who says he's experienced in entertainment law and he hammers out a few bugs. They're still not sure about it, but the lawyer says he's seen a lot of contracts, and theirs is pretty good. They'll be great royalty: 13% [less a 1O% packaging deduction]. Wasn't it Buffalo Tom that were only getting 12% less 10? Whatever. The old label only wants 50 grand, an no points. Hell, Sub Pop got 3 points when they let Nirvana go. They're signed for four years, with options on each year, for a total of over a million dollars! That's a lot of money in any man's English. The first year's advance alone is $250,000. Just think about it, a quarter million, just for being in a rock band! Their manager thinks it's a great deal, especially the large advance. Besides, he knows a publishing company that will take the band on if they get signed, and even give them an advance of 20 grand, so they'll be making that money too. The manager says publishing is pretty mysterious, and nobody really knows where all the money comes from, but the lawyer can look that contract over too. Hell, it's free money. Their booking agent is excited about the band signing to a major. He says they can maybe average $1,000 or $2,000 a night from now on. That's enough to justify a five week tour, and with tour support, they can use a proper crew, buy some good equipment and even get a tour bus! Buses are pretty expensive, but if you figure in the price of a hotel room for everybody In the band and crew, they're actually about the same cost. Some bands like Therapy? and Sloan and Stereolab use buses on their tours even when they're getting paid only a couple hundred bucks a night, and this tour should earn at least a grand or two every night. It'll be worth it. The band will be more comfortable and will play better.
The agent says a band on a major label can get a merchandising company to pay them an advance on T-shirt sales! ridiculous! There's a gold mine here! The lawyer Should look over the merchandising contract, just to be safe. They get drunk at the signing party. Polaroids are taken and everybody looks thrilled. The label picked them up in a limo. They decided to go with the producer who used to be in Letterman's band. He had these technicians come in and tune the drums for them and tweak their amps and guitars. He had a guy bring in a slew of expensive old "vintage" microphones. Boy, were they "warm." He even had a guy come in and check the phase of all the equipment in the control room! Boy, was he professional. He used a bunch of equipment on them and by the end of it, they all agreed that it sounded very "punchy," yet "warm." All that hard work paid off. With the help of a video, the album went like hotcakes! They sold a quarter million copies! Here is the math that will explain just how ****ed they are: These figures are representative of amounts that appear in record contracts daily. There's no need to skew the figures to make the scenario look bad, since real-life examples more than abound. income is bold and underlined, expenses are not.
 Advance: $ 250,000 Manager's cut: $ 37,500 Legal fees: $ 10,000 Recording Budget: $ 150,000 Producer's advance: $ 50,000 Studio fee: $ 52,500 Drum Amp, Mic and Phase "Doctors": $ 3,000 Recording tape: $ 8,000 Equipment rental: $ 5,000 Cartage and Transportation: $ 5,000 Lodgings while in studio: $ 10,000 Catering: $ 3,000 Mastering: $ 10,000 Tape copies, reference CDs, shipping tapes, misc. expenses: $ 2,000 Video budget: $ 30,000 Cameras: $ 8,000 Crew: $ 5,000 Processing and transfers: $ 3,000 Off-line: $ 2,000 On-line editing: $ 3,000 Catering: $ 1,000 Stage and construction: $ 3,000 Copies, couriers, transportation: $ 2,000 Director's fee: $ 3,000 Album Artwork: $ 5,000 Promotional photo shoot and duplication: $ 2,000 Band fund: $ 15,000 New fancy professional drum kit: $ 5,000 New fancy professional guitars [2]: $ 3,000 New fancy professional guitar amp rigs [2]: $ 4,000 New fancy potato-shaped bass guitar: $ 1,000 New fancy rack of lights bass amp: $ 1,000 Rehearsal space rental: $ 500 Big blowout party for their friends: $ 500 Tour expense [5 weeks]: $ 50,875 Bus: $ 25,000 Crew [3]: $ 7,500 Food and per diems: $ 7,875 Fuel: $ 3,000 Consumable supplies: $ 3,500 Wardrobe: $ 1,000 Promotion: $ 3,000 Tour gross income: $ 50,000 Agent's cut: $ 7,500 Manager's cut: $ 7,500 Merchandising advance: $ 20,000 Manager's cut: $ 3,000 Lawyer's fee: $ 1,000 Publishing advance: $ 20,000 Manager's cut: $ 3,000 Lawyer's fee: $ 1,000 Record sales: 250,000 @ $12 =
$3,000,000 Gross retail revenue Royalty: [13% of 90% of retail]:
$ 351,000 Less advance: $ 250,000 Producer's points: [3% less $50,000 advance]:
$ 40,000 Promotional budget: $ 25,000 Recoupable buyout from previous label: $ 50,000 Net royalty: $ -14,000 Record company income:

Record wholesale price: $6.50 x 250,000 =
$1,625,000 gross income Artist Royalties: $ 351,000 Deficit from royalties: $ 14,000 Manufacturing, packaging and distribution: @ $2.20 per record: $ 550,000 Gross profit: $ 7l0,000 The Balance Sheet: This is how much each player got paid at the end of the game.

Record company: $ 710,000 Producer: $ 90,000 Manager: $ 51,000 Studio: $ 52,500 Previous label: $ 50,000 Agent: $ 7,500 Lawyer: $ 12,000 Band member net income each: $ 4,031.25 The band is now 1/4 of the way through its contract, has made the music industry more than 3 million dollars richer, but is in the hole $14,000 on royalties. The band members have each earned about 1/3 as much as they would working at a 7-11, but they got to ride in a tour bus for a month. The next album will be about the same, except that the record company will insist they spend more time and money on it. Since the previous one never "recouped," the band will have no leverage, and will oblige. The next tour will be about the same, except the merchandising advance will have already been paid, and the band, strangely enough, won't have earned any royalties from their T-shirts yet. Maybe the T-shirt guys have figured out how to count money like record company guys. Some of your friends are probably already this ****ed.

[Hope209]

Temepest, do you have a British accent (noticed you live in England)?

[Tempest19]

Originally Posted by spandexstallion

i gave it another listen, and i think the chorus melody is nearly there, perhaps a stellar vocal performance could make it more memorable.

Any idea how to make the chorus melody more catchy.

I really like what the song is communicating. If only I could make it like you say more memorable.

I'm not sure I can sing it any stronger than that but I'll give it a shot.

Thanks for your input

[Tempest19]

Originally Posted by Hope209

Temepest, do you have a British accent (noticed you live in England)?

Yes but not a posh one

[spandexstallion]

there needs to be some more variation in the melody. it feels constricted, held back, and needs some sort of 'release' of the tension that's building in the chorus. also, the lyrics need a bit more polishing. I think you say 'take my advice and you can affect your life'. I'm not particularly fond of that line, nor the melody there. 'tomorrow it's not gonna be that slow 'cause', also needs some work. It doesn't seem to fit with the line it preceeds. if you're new to writing it's a good start though. Keep going, doing what you're doing, it will come.

[Tempest19]

Originally Posted by spandexstallion

there needs to be some more variation in the melody. it feels constricted, held back, and needs some sort of 'release' of the tension that's building in the chorus. also, the lyrics need a bit more polishing. I think you say 'take my advice and you can affect your life'. I'm not particularly fond of that line, nor the melody there. 'tomorrow it's not gonna be that slow 'cause', also needs some work. It doesn't seem to fit with the line it preceeds. if you're new to writing it's a good start though. Keep going, doing what you're doing, it will come.

Aha, the lyric is 'Take my advice and you can have back your life'

I was influenced by a friend who's new girlfriend is almost running his life and managing his time. Even though I tell him to wake up, he doesn't seem to realise. The that chorus is pretty much my advice to him in his situation.

I don't know how the cause got there to tell the truth

I've been writing for two years but I think I'm doing an alright job.

The reason I've kept the same melody is because each line in the chorus is like me making a point.

Take the chances in your life, Own it all cause it's your time, Spend it wise before you go, Cause tomorrow it's not going to be that slow.

I'll have a go at switching it up and see what I can come up with.

Thanks.

[chymer]

To Drakewire,
Im sure you mean well, but the guy who started this posts wants to know if his songwriting chops are up to scratch enough for this song to have commercial appeal to an Artist so he can get it cut by them, this is how I took it anyway.

you could probably start another thread on the particular issues you brought up about record labels.

I didnt listen to the song yet, but, from what Ive read, the song is generic enough to appeal to an artist to use it for themselves.
I think its the opposite to what Drakewire is saying if you want to get songs cut as a writer.
Write catchy generic songs that sound current and borrow from what is "hot right now". And then get your stuff out there.

If your an artist writing your own songs and wanting a record deal then its a completely diferent topic.

My advice is to write heaps man. Write, write, write and develop your own formula.
good luck
Chymer

[Tempest19]

People will probably just bash them if I borrow from whats hot and tell me it's unoriginal. The thing is I like those type of songs, they're what I listen to so naturally they're what I want to write.

When I started this topic asking if this track could sell I think I set the wrong example.

What I meant was I'm not just looking to write any old crap and try to sell it, I want to really work hard and be able to write a song that could compete. After all once I finish university in a couple of years it's what I'd love to do to make a living.

The reason I posted on here was because nobody round here has anything to do with music what so ever. People work in business or trades, they dont understand music or music production. Theres no positive feedback from anybody apart from a ' yeah its alright'.

I was never expecting any credit for trying but support is what you need. I also find that people my age are often not taken very seriously when they suggest they want to write songs for a living. People seem to brush it off ' yes its a nice little hobby for you'

[drakewire]

I think you have misunderstood what I was trying to get at.
Do you think Picasso asked other artists what colors to paint with?
Do you think the Beatles said, Well I like the song, but do you think it will sell?
I could list more examples, but two is enough for the point here...

Point is, don't ask what other think, most of the people will either lie to you or tear it down out of jealousy, envy, or sheer nothingness.

Point is write your songs, put them out there, and if people buy the music, awesome... If they dont, make sure you like your song.... Because, this is what its all about brother... Liking the music you make, not trying to be or write what everybody else wants to hear. You will fail miserably that way, because you cant appeal to everyone...

Personally, your songs have flavor to me, but are just okay, however, to someone else, you might be the biggest thing since Elvis. So dont listen to anyone but you...

Best Wishes,
Devon Drake