Hello everyone. I'm new to posting, but I have been lurking on and off for a few months, mostly through google searches as I have recently embarked upon the journey of home music making.
Some background:
I am a lifelong singer, been playing instruments since I was a child. Not interested in fame, but I consider myself to be a music enthusiast. My bent leans toward pop music because it's what I grew up on and it makes sense to me. Yes it's monotonous. Yes it's asinine. But I love it just the same.
Anyway, I have decided to foray into music production, as it is the one thing I haven't done much of in all the years I've been consuming and enjoying music. I wrote my first song on the guitar about 10 years ago and hated it. Took me all this time to decide to try my hand at writing again. I'm looking for honest feedback on my first creation in 10 years; my second in a lifetime.
This is an electro-pop kind of deal. It's not complete and the mix is crappy. I have no idea what I'm doing with DAWs, mixing, etc. Just started learning how to use these things about 6 months ago. What I'm interested in is feedback on the composition of the song - lyrics, progression, musicality, impact, interest....that sort of thing. This is just a snippet of the song (first verse, chorus and second verse). The chorus repeats after the second verse with about a 4 bar strip down to the back beat and rebuild to the chorus which repeats twice to the end. I figured the most interesting part was contained in this sample.
Be honest. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings. Seriously, you won't. Just don't say anything bad about my mother. Or I may have to find you and hurt you.
Have a listen and tell me what you think.
Much love and thanks in advance (even if you hate it).
ETA: Lyrics. My enunciation sucks half the time.
"UnBreakable"
Key of IDK WTF?
Verse 1
Watch me fall to pieces, watch me pick 'em up
One by one
Glue 'em to a piece of paper
Fold it up
Place it in my lover's pocket, then wait up
Until he finds it
Like a ransom note, in a game of stick 'em up (stick 'em up)
Chorus
We're falling a part, I'm moving oooooooooooon
Thought you had it all
You're watching me fall
But I'm UnBreakable
Verse 2
Shut my mouth, I'm in orbit on the ground
You're so proud
Playing drummer with the crowd
Break it down
I know what you're after, but it's useless now
Take your bow
Take your leave
Time to go
Siayonara f'sho
I don't have much to say about the composition's structure... other than it probably could use a contrasting bridge. You said you only posted a fragment so I don't know if you planned to write (or already have) a bridge or not.
As far as mix production:
For the chorus (starting at 0m25s), I'd go for a wider soundscape. Overdubbed harmonies panned hard left and hard right. Really use that big wide stereo field for impact.
The drums are a little too loud compared to the vocals. Also, the drums are also too prominent while your vocals are distant. I suspect it's because the electronic drums have very little reverb and it overwhelms your vocals which have reverb efx applied. Also, you'll want to reprogram the drums a bit so it's not exactly the same loop from verse into the chorus.
To summarize the drums:
1) volume -- drums too loud in relation to vocals
2) front-to-back soundscape -- drums are dry in relation to your vocals which are wet with reverb
3) rhythm arrangement -- drum loop needs some fills or variation between sections
I don't have much to say about the composition's structure... other than it probably could use a contrasting bridge. You said you only posted a fragment so I don't know if you planned to write (or already have) a bridge or not.
As far as mix production:
For the chorus (starting at 0m25s), I'd go for a wider soundscape. Overdubbed harmonies panned hard left and hard right. Really use that big wide stereo field for impact.
The drums are a little too loud compared to the vocals. Also, the drums are also too prominent while your vocals are distant. I suspect it's because the electronic drums have very little reverb and it overwhelms your vocals which have reverb efx applied. Also, you'll want to reprogram the drums a bit so it's not exactly the same loop from verse into the chorus.
To summarize the drums:
1) volume -- drums too loud in relation to vocals
2) front-to-back soundscape -- drums are dry in relation to your vocals which are wet with reverb
3) rhythm arrangement -- drum loop needs some fills or variation between sections
Thanks for the feedback.
I was thinking the same thing about a bridge. The verses and chorus seem so different musically that it seems right to put in a bridge that ties them together somehow or makes the transition seem more intuitive. Haven't written it yet, though. I'll work on that.
Thanks for the mix tips, too. I can take as many of those as anyone is willing to offer.
The drum pattern is not matching your vocals' meter, so it sounds like it's falling away in spots (like i expect a snare or kick on a word and it's not there). If you are into midi I would load up a simpler beat and add the accents manually. Or, find a more complimentary beat.
The vocals/melody are good - I think the way you sing the word unbreakable is fabulous. And your harmonies are always great. :-)
Keep up the great work - the mixing will come with time once you figure out all the technical stuff on the DAW (which for me will be never lol).
Just been playing around with this. It's like playing a game of whack-a-mole sometimes...can't get everything nailed down at once...Anyway, here's my progress so far:
I'm not too sure I'm keen, there's just not enough depth and soundscape to the mix, I find it difficult to relate the lyrics to whats going on elsewhere, its just a bit....messy. Mind you, I am pretty narrow-minded when it comes to pop, apart from a couple of groups its not really my kind of genre. So my comments definitely aren't the end of the world cause maybe I'm missing something.
It sounds like you've got some kind of compressor/limiter thing going on with the vocals. Just remove it, it doesn't seem to blend nicely with other instrumentation and frankly its leaning towards hippy urban crap that I've just about had enough of on 95.8FM.
Sorry 'bout the rambling, I was feeling harsh this evening...
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