Critique on vocal performance from 3rd party

[clrmecpd]

It's off on a lot of notes, some parts where I would change the melody, phrasings, got a cool tone to your voice though. I wouldn't do those drifting off parts, the "from where" is the first one.

First thing you gotta get it on pitch though.

[lovenara]

Hi
I think you want honest comment,sorry if it sounds harsh ( i myself got worse comment b4 ),you have to learn how to sing it right.You re not using diaphragm so the singing is not controllable.Intro is too long too.Many years ago my singing was like this too
hope it helps

[Hath]

Nothing is too harsh, keep it coming. I appreciate the honest posts so far.

The notion here is I don't know how to approach what is I need to get to where I want to be.

Your critiques help me establish an idea, no matter how "harsh" they may be.

[clrmecpd]

Originally Posted by Hath

Nothing is too harsh, keep it coming. I appreciate the honest posts so far.

The notion here is I don't know how to approach what is I need to get to where I want to be.

Your critiques help me establish an idea, no matter how "harsh" they may be.

You can easily get there, you have a cool voice. Some Cobain in there, that's ALWAYS a win.

I would recommend finding a good singing teacher, which can be tough to do since so many of them just show exercises and the like without explaining what/why you're doing them, but if you can find a good teacher that can really articulate what you need to do and explain WHY you're doing certain exercises it's beyond useful.

It's hard if we can't actually be there to watch you sing to see what you are doing wrong, and what you are doing right (and I'm no vocal coach). My advice would be to learn about the diaphragm, learn to relax your chest/throat/tongue/mouth/lips/face muscles when you sing (a lot I know, but easy once you get the hang of it), you need to establish pushing the right amount of air out not too much not too little all while being very relaxed. Scales are a great way to get used to doing this, and then you've gotta apply those techniques to singing with words.

About the diaphragm; if you go HA! or just laugh like ha ha ha ha ha really let it out, that's a good example of use of the diaphragm. You want that sucker to be hard, especially on high notes. You want to breathe with your diaphragm and for that you want to focus on how you breathe when you're just sitting there not thinking about it. Your diaphragm acts like a vacuum pulling in the air, notice how when you're just sitting there you aren't sucking in air it's just in-out-in-out, that part between where your ribs meet moves out, that is where your diaphragm is. I found laying on my back on my bed and singing was very helpful with learning to use my diaphragm.

Sorry for the giant blurb!

[theblue1]

Originally Posted by Hath

Nothing is too harsh, keep it coming. I appreciate the honest posts so far.

The notion here is I don't know how to approach what is I need to get to where I want to be.

Your critiques help me establish an idea, no matter how "harsh" they may be.

I think you've got some very interesting ideas for the vocal melody -- and I rather like the texture of your voice, but, as others note, yeah, pitch, pitch, pitch.

But I think you've got some really good potential!

I'm not a fan of vocal retuning as a rule -- and I'm not suggesting it as a substitute for getting things right, at all -- but I think it can be used to help one get a better grip on one's pitch issues. For one thing, it can show you where you are with regard to the equal temperament notes.

(And while a very good singer may well shade his pitch away from ET in order to hit a more 'in-tune' vocal interval, in this case, getting your performance close to the ET grid values will definitely be a step in the right direction.)

Again, I'm NOT talking about tuning your vocal to correct it but perhaps using a vocal tuning software that has a visual grid mode in order to get a better idea of the actual pitches you're singing.

Another thing that may help is to either create a guide track from a MIDI instrument to sing to or to create a vocal guide track using pitch correction and then practice singing and recording to that in order to get your voice system's 'muscle memory' more attuned to the right moves.

(I have my own battles with pitch and I've found that the more often I sing a given song and the more I drill in my performance, the easier it is to more consistently hit pitch. Perhaps... not surprisingly. )


Anyhow, don't lose faith, I think you've got great ideas and a really interesting native quality to your voice. Happily, one can definitely improve his ability to sing on pitch -- and in your case, I suspect it will be well worth the effort.

[Hath]

theblue1 you have a good idea there about the pitch software. I've seen it used at one point and saw that you can track where the pitch is. I never thought about using it as a reference. Another tool added in the bag.

Thank you for the words of encouragement everyone. I have been practicing the song all morning. Really stripping everything down to the bare bones essentials, no added flare or color.

So before I take the long journey to improvement, I have here, a version of me playing acoustic and singing. Vocals start at 20 seconds, then after the break, vocals start at 2:10. I cut back as much as I could and tried to focus solely on breath control and pitch.

If it is a improvement in easier listening then I have a good foundation, otherwise this will let me know if I need to even be more basic in the fundamentals.

Will be the last time until this is a finished demo. Thanks again peeps!

Keep It Together Essentials by Hath-a-Way-there on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

[JorgeOlmos]

Hey Hath,

First off, I really like what you have here. In regards to the first version, I actually really like the intro. To me, it makes sense how you have it, and I don't think it's too long. Therefore, you should keep it. Do it, you know you want to.

Like others have said, your pitch could use some work. But you're on the right track, and I think you have potential. =)

Alright. Now the tough love. haha.

I took a listen to both versions, side by side(pausing every couple seconds and switching to the next version), and I'm left to wonder if you know 100% what your melody is. Sorry!

I just read that you stripped it down, and maybe that's why...but, when you sing "Keep it together..." it sounds the same in both versions(except for the closing line.). I feel like you really know how you want your melody to be in that spot. It's where you shine! For sure!

The other parts of the song sound the same here and there, but then quite different!

One thing I sometimes do after coming up with some kind of melody/song is go to my piano, play the chords, and sing the melody. After that, I find the notes of the melody on the piano, and fine tune, I guess.

For guitar, maybe you can record the guitar chords, find your melody(with your guitar) and try changing things that way. Just a thought.

In my head that made sense... But maybe it doesn't... Anywho...

Last thing I can think of is to keep doing what you're doing. Singing/playing/composing. Your ear will get better. Your notes will get better. You've already established that you are capable of singing notes well enough. You just need some more work.

Carry on!

[ido1957]

Originally Posted by Hath

theblue1 you have a good idea there about the pitch software. I've seen it used at one point and saw that you can track where the pitch is. I never thought about using it as a reference. Another tool added in the bag.

Thank you for the words of encouragement everyone. I have been practicing the song all morning. Really stripping everything down to the bare bones essentials, no added flare or color.

So before I take the long journey to improvement, I have here, a version of me playing acoustic and singing. Vocals start at 20 seconds, then after the break, vocals start at 2:10. I cut back as much as I could and tried to focus solely on breath control and pitch.

If it is a improvement in easier listening then I have a good foundation, otherwise this will let me know if I need to even be more basic in the fundamentals.

Will be the last time until this is a finished demo. Thanks again peeps!

Keep It Together Essentials by Hath-a-Way-there on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

Every note you sang until I shut if off at 60 seconds was off key. You need to work a lot on your pitch. Sorry - but I believe honesty is the best policy.

[Hath]

Originally Posted by ido1957

Every note you sang until I shut if off at 60 seconds was off key. You need to work a lot on your pitch. Sorry - but I believe honesty is the best policy.

Thank you for your feedback! No need to be apologetic, that makes no sense, especially on the internet.

[vintagelove]

1) could just be a personal thing for me, I hate di'd acoustic guitar. A 57 sounds better.

2) Learning to sight sing would do you wonders.

Good luck