-- I liked the minimal intro. Once the song kicks in, it kind of comes in full bloom and then stays in that groove for a fairly long time save for the breakdown, then the groove picks back up and the last section is even longer than the first. I couldn't help but think more change-ups and switch-ups in the arrangement would help give more of a feel of progression (not the chord kind, the getting somewhere
kind) through the course of the song. As it is, it feels a bit static.
If I were mixing this song, I think I'd be looking for things to pull out in different sections and then put back in in others to build and release tension through the song. I'm a great believer in 'subtractive arrangement.
Now, when giving feedback/critique, I usually don't comment on lyrics unless they're posted somewhere, so maybe you need the full near-6 minutes to 'tell the song's story'... but, groove-wise, I'm feeling like maybe the song really wants to end in the 4-1/2 minute range -- and, actually, I notice the second time through that the lyrics are more or less over in that general time frame, anyhow -- now, to be sure, the groove is attractive and the outro makes a graceful exit, but, for me, a pop song has to have some pretty compelling reasons to keep listening once it goes past the 3.5-4 minute mark.
Anyway, that aside, very nicely done! bran12081
-- I like the flow, I like the delivery. The familiar folk-rock context is nicely executed (although the sound here is a little indistinct/veiled on acoustic guitar and drums kit, but, of course, SoundCloud streams are limited to 128 bkps). The chorus gives a nice little bump to the momentum when it comes in. The vocals are nicely done. (Again, I don't comment on lyrics unless they're posted, as a rule, but no glaring 'problems' stuck out on that front.) The 'trick' ending -- a cold stop on the last word of the song, stop
-- is a bit 'clever' but also a cleverness that others have hit on before (including one of my own songs, come to think of it
) but I'm not sure at all that's a problem, really. Still, it's something that struck me. (Maybe because I've made the same move myself.) Very nice. pinkheadebug
-- I did catch some of these lyrics -- your arrangement did a pretty good job of giving space to the important lyrical bits -- and I was struck by the poignancy of the situation -- and particularly by the lyrical twist of the knife on Valentine's Day. And, like I said, your music and arrangement served the lyric well. A really good job, I'd say!