Seems like I'm always behind the curve... this one's been floating around in my trunk for two years; only comes out at Christmas.
Audio quality is iffy, as are some performance elements; I don't care, and I don't think I could catch that same vibe on a vocal re-take. Something seemed right, even with the flaws. It's also one of the few songs I've written that I felt actually had something worth saying in the lyric and music.
I'd love to hear any input on the writing and arrangement.
Noel....
I just have to say GREAT VOCALS! Not in the sense that they are flawless or anything...its just one of those performances where eventual mishaps or pitchy notes don't matter because it so feels like the singer has something to say! Good work!
Finished demos, lots of guitar, reverb, and empty space...
Dude, I like it - i like the tone in your voice and the vibe - BUT... there's a timing issue with the delays on the 2 guitars and something clashing in the lo-mid freqs... which detracts...
Nice tune Andrebrito. I liked the transition to the vocal section, nice atmosphere.
My song is in my signature, newly finished and mastered.
I really like this song (In fact I listened to it 4 times) - both the vibe & the production.
Some comments include: For a song that's almost 5 minutes long I think I would work more on building the dynamics as the song progresses. For my taste the drop back to acoustic guitar & vocals after the first chorus is a bit to great. I'd continue the bass & drums and for the next chorus & outro add a small number of extra elements. B3 springs to mind. And maybe a few tasteful solo guitar licks...?
The BV's are nice, but to my mind are a little late in making their appearance. I'd think about having spot BV's on the occasional line (or even 3-4 words) in the first chorus. Could also do this in the second verse to help lift it a little...?
The drums could maybe come a little more forward in the mix.
whatever, that's just my personal taste.
All-in-all it's a well-produced song. And I really like the "surprise" ending
This is one that I don't feel I can go much further with. I'm the vocalist, and while I'm not thrilled with my performance, it's for the most part decent.
Hope you'll listen - I am really interested in feedback! Lyrics are below:
Cheers,
Dave
-------------------------------
Lifeline
What I miss, what I miss most
Is the devil in your eyes and the angel in your soul
And I want just to know you're well
That the angel hasn't left, that the devil's raising hell
Five years is a long time, someone becomes your lifeline
They pick you up and make you shine, save you when you're sinking
Oh, this is what we do
You save me and I save you
Lose ourselves and need to be rescued
No matter how hard it gets
Even if it leaves us fighting for breath
Love is strong enough to pull us from the darkness
When all my drifting ends, maybe I'll find love again
It'll never be the same, even if I could pretend
'Cause your voice echoes in my head
And a part of me longs for silence, but it never seems to fade
Five years is a long time, someone becomes your lifeline
They find you in the nick of time just as you stop believing
Now everything's a shade of grey
And all my strength has drained away
I'm just a man who's overboard
And no one's there to hear me calling
Oh, this is what we do
You save me and I save you
Lose ourselves and need to be rescued
No matter how hard it gets
Or even if it leaves us fighting for breath
Love is strong enough to pull us from the darkness
And I need your lifeline now
I need your lifeline now
I need your lifeline now
Copyright 2012, David Keats
Great song Dave - well done. I like the feel, the arrangement and the lyrics, and despite your reservations I think the vocals are really good & deliver what the song needs.
Speaking of the vocals, for my taste they need to come up in level quite a bit - at the moment they are buried in the mix too much. Also, I'd put BV's in there for sure. For example, for a start on lines such as "Five years is a long time" and "They pick you up and make you shine" and then the rest of the chorus.
Also, I'd look at picking up the energy of the song a little earlier than it is at present (c. 2 mins), but apart from that, again, well done.
This is one that I don't feel I can go much further with. I'm the vocalist, and while I'm not thrilled with my performance, it's for the most part decent.
Great song. I have a couple of notes on the mix though. I would pull back on the Autotune a bit - it's got that velvety Bublé sound which is quite addictive but it kind of kills the sincerity and intimacy of the song. I makes it sound kind of radio-friendly but it is going to date badly IMO. I would just notch it back 20% and let a little bit of the grit through. There's a nice honest quality to your voice which is at odds with the Autotune gloss for me.
Also it sounds like there is a glitchy vocal edit at 0'45 into the 'save you when you're sinking' line. There's also a weird squelch in the backing track at 1'55 which took me out of the song momentarily.
This is awesome! Glad they finally put in a songwriting forum
Anyway this one is about done but i'm still tweaking the mix.
Excellent excellent job sventvkg! Top song and great playing & production. IMHO, radio ready... The only little thing I would possibly try is, in the break-down immediately after the solo, I'd give it a shot at stripping it down to just piano & vocals and see how that sounded? IF it worked, it would increase the impact of the last chorus...
Excellent excellent job sventvkg! Top song and great playing & production. IMHO, radio ready... The only little thing I would possibly try is, in the break-down immediately after the solo, I'd give it a shot at stripping it down to just piano & vocals and see how that sounded? IF it worked, it would increase the impact of the last chorus...
Very well done. Good luck with it. Mike
Thanks Mike. Good advice because it does seem too busy. I'm going to revisit it and strip some things out during different parts as well..Acoustic in Choruses, etc...I'll give your suggestion a shot!
Dude, I like it - i like the tone in your voice and the vibe - BUT... there's a timing issue with the delays on the 2 guitars and something clashing in the lo-mid freqs... which detracts...
hth
best, adam
Thanks for the feedback, I have just started playing around with mixing tracks and this could have been mixed much better!
Here's a co-write of mine from last year, done with a very talented Swedish singer-songwriter named Annika Fehling.
The 'production' such as it is, is a bit thin, a bit undistinguished... I know that.
What I am interested in getting, is some feedback on the GENRE of this song: is it Country ? Is it Alt-Folk ? Personally, I'm not really fussed and don't pay much attention to which genre - it's a song first and foremost - but I'm continually tempted to submit it to "Need Country songs for xxx" opportunities and always find myself holding back.
Anyone got any thoughts on this ?
Last edited by 2k2k; 20th January 2012 at 11:38 AM..
Reason: sig dissappeared
I really like this song (In fact I listened to it 4 times) - both the vibe & the production.
Some comments include: For a song that's almost 5 minutes long I think I would work more on building the dynamics as the song progresses. For my taste the drop back to acoustic guitar & vocals after the first chorus is a bit to great. I'd continue the bass & drums and for the next chorus & outro add a small number of extra elements. B3 springs to mind. And maybe a few tasteful solo guitar licks...?
The BV's are nice, but to my mind are a little late in making their appearance. I'd think about having spot BV's on the occasional line (or even 3-4 words) in the first chorus. Could also do this in the second verse to help lift it a little...?
The drums could maybe come a little more forward in the mix.
whatever, that's just my personal taste.
All-in-all it's a well-produced song. And I really like the "surprise" ending
Well done. Mike
Thanks for listening and the comments Mike, I really appreciate it. I can feel all of your comments. This is one of those I got to a certain point and just left it because as I was adding I didn't dig it as much. But I think you are right, it could use some more jazz to it, b3, tasty guit. And honestly, I feel the same way about the 2nd verse lol.
Here's a co-write of mine from last year, done with a very talented Swedish singer-songwriter named Annika Fehling.
The 'production' such as it is, is a bit thin, a bit undistinguished... I know that.
What I am interested in getting, is some feedback on the GENRE of this song: is it Country ? Is it Alt-Folk ? Personally, I'm not really fussed and don't pay much attention to which genre - it's a song first and foremost - but I'm continually tempted to submit it to "Need Country songs for xxx" opportunities and always find myself holding back.
Anyone got any thoughts on this ?
It's definitely not country.
I would agree with your Alt-Folk assessment.
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.
Retrospekta is going to put out another various artist disk this year. The process is simple, you need to get in touch with Retrospekta on Facebook, send them a demo. If its good enough, they make a deal with you, produce the track and get it on the album. You don't have to pay to get it done.
I'm quite new to all of this so its difficult for me to critique other people's songs in any kind of way. I just wrote and recorded a song the other day, you all could give me some pointers. I think it may be demo quality (to my untrained ear - it was recorded in my bedroom) but you guys are probably better at judging that than I am.
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.
The content is great. Easily in the same calibre as any radio played pop rock band. Good pacing, subtle yet demanding guitar playing, solid hook, it has a really effective bridge vocal ... and i could keep going. It works.
My only gripe is that the vocals in the first verse are not playing very well with the rest of the band. Im not even being picky-- it was just the first thing I noticed was that the opening vocals sound either too loud or as if they are carrying some unnecessary noise (I'm not an engineer). In the second verse it's not even noticeable but when all the instruments are subdued in the beginning verse the breath trails and what not are very apparent. With that said, if you cleaned up that one single section of the recording you could easily have told me that was radio played song and I wouldn't have doubted it!
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.
Loved the verse, but the chorus is a bit of a musical cliche'. Too obvious and bland and a really overused pop chord progression, makes the song sound amateurish even though the production values are great. Also the solo plays the chorus melody, almost note for note, so if you thought the chorus was boring then the solo isn't doing its job and lifting it up a notch. The actual video looks great, I like seeing a Band close together on stage working on it, looks good!
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.
Nothing wrong with the song although as someone else said the chorus progression is a bit well worn, but that particular treatment is really dated and not in a good way -- a very generic 80s/90s kind of poprock feel, not a million miles from Loverboy. I can certainly see it working in a dance pop vein, but swing for the bleachers if you are going to do that.
This is as close to finished as I've been able to get this track.
It's meant to be a sort of modern version of the epic sixties wall-of-sound kind of thing, Dusty Springfield meets The Lovin' Spoonful I guess (with a bit of Herman's Hermits if you listen carfully, plus some Monkees). The main piano is a double speed Mellotron sample, plus there's a ton of guitars in there, close to a dozen backing vocals, glockenspiel, four part horn section and even an orchestral harp at one point! Was a lot of fun to do.
Now thats what I call GREAT songwriting Every moment works. You should get this song to Robbie Williams... Well done!!
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Hopefully my publisher and the song pluggers think so too!! 
