Login / Register
 
Post your rough demos
New Reply
Subscribe
#721
12th February 2014
Old 12th February 2014
  #721
Gear maniac
 
AlcoholByVolume's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2012
Location: Carbondale, CO

AlcoholByVolume is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by everybody's x View Post
well I'm no definitive answer I just felt they should either be all dirty or all clean IDK
Its not the first time I've heard that so it was some confirmation at the least. Thanks!
#722
13th February 2014
Old 13th February 2014
  #722
Gear addict
 
stclair's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 345

stclair is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by lukeforester1 View Post
Hey, thanks for your feedback! I appreciate you taking the time. Could I ask you to clarify what you mean by "at the least aim for a hooky title. 'We are free' doesn't seem to stick very well." I'm just not quite sure specifically what you mean.
I once heard a teacher say "Good production will make people dance, a good song will make them feel." so I totally agree with you on that.
Also, I posted in the EDM forum looking for a collaborator

No problems, thanks for replying, there's not a awful lot of love for pop around here so...

Your teacher is a smart man, but let me put it to you in another sense, if someone is building the house and your only job is to paint it, then you do your best to paint that house with the best tools you have , you have no control over the say the colour or the wall materials etc
BUT at the end of the day once that house is finished it maybe good or maybe crap, or good enough, but no matter what you can say that your contribution was 110% no regrets.

No oooh yeah I could've used the spatula here, but I though the roof was cover up that corner anyways.... etc

Don't leave it to chance.

I refer to great dance songs such as Titanium which I think the song writing is top notch with a great production, The storytelling/lyrics and production reinforce each other to drive the motion. Lyrics give permission for listeners to feel a certain way thats why they are important.



When I meant sticky, I mean memorable. Take it with a grain of salt as I didn't pour through your verses with a fine tooth comb. I listened probably once or twice.

I refer back to my example with Timber. A good song tie's up everything really well to pay off typically on the title/chorus.

It's not 'We're chopping trees, we're yelling timber'. The hookiness includes the metaphor, it's going down in the club so here's the reason it's fun to yell Timber in a night club. The word timber by itself is pretty mundane but memorable in the given context that's been painted. It's setup all the way through the song and no one ever expected yell TIMBER! in a club....ever.

I could keep going but here's one last nugget.

Part of the dilemma of setting up a good payoff is racking up the tension, this means a good verses. Good verses put people's in the moment and ready's them want to sing the chorus to release the tension. Don't tell them they are having a bad week, their dog just died, describe it and let their imagination immerse themselve so they are experiencing it. This sounds a bit much but believe me it's subconscious. For example I would not say:

'we've climbed on the roof to run around and look at the stars after a shitty week of our day jobs, we're feeling really carefree now'

I would describe moments that would elude to that. Something like

Verse
Dragging around, our worries set on overdrive
Chained to the gears, trapped in someone elses ride
I'm staring, waiting for time....

blah blah blah blah insert further imagery that sets up title here


Prechorus
But tonight...
Stars are shining bright, shout it cross the roof tonght
you and I,
You and I are realigned, running at the speed of light


Chorus
We are freeeeeeee blah blah blah

Does that make sense? This is just and example of a type of method I use to do this.
#723
13th February 2014
Old 13th February 2014
  #723
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 1,414
My Recordings/Credits

bkbirge is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by stclair View Post
Lyrics give permission for listeners to feel a certain way thats why they are important.
That's an interesting point of view, never heard it put that way before.
#724
13th February 2014
Old 13th February 2014
  #724
Lives for gear
 
everybody's x's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: kansas city
Posts: 1,741

everybody's x is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
That's an interesting point of view, never heard it put that way before.
It's brilliant
#725
13th February 2014
Old 13th February 2014
  #725
Gear addict
 
stclair's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 345

stclair is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
That's an interesting point of view, never heard it put that way before.
You can never tell someone to feel a certain way, no one can make themselve feel a certain way. They need to let themself, best you can do is hand them the keys to their imagination.
Quote
2
#726
13th February 2014
Old 13th February 2014
  #726
Gear interested
 
JustinEAdams's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 2

JustinEAdams is offline
Pins and needles new!

#727
15th February 2014
Old 15th February 2014
  #727
Gear nut
 
Triscuit's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 89

Triscuit is offline
A very rough demo

Was working on another song and this one walked up next to me and tapped my shoulder; said, "Hello! I'm here... you need to work on me instead."

Recorded it last night for a good reference and to work out melody; still need to change some lyrics as there are placeholders in there. Also will probably write a bridge at the end; was thinking of lingering on the Db chord and using it as a pivot point to the key of Gb - oooof - V/bVII.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/3nejmc114gi3ay7/Cursed_1.mp3

Cursed
I've seen U everywhere,
And it's always a sight for dry eyes.
U are the sum of all your demons,
So before -
We can deny.

This curse,
This place;
Your unforgiving smile.
What I'd give to retrace
The million ways to walk your mile.

Star-crossed and snake bit
Did the devil lean in and kiss you?
When we don't have each other,
Who will U turn to?
Surrender and start again.

This place;
Your unforgiving smile.
What I'd give to retrace
The million ways to walk your mile.
This curse,
This place;
And every little lie
That you told to my face ...
#728
16th February 2014
Old 16th February 2014
  #728
Gear addict
 
stclair's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 345

stclair is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by Triscuit View Post
Was working on another song and this one walked up next to me and tapped my shoulder; said, "Hello! I'm here... you need to work on me instead."

Recorded it last night for a good reference and to work out melody; still need to change some lyrics as there are placeholders in there. Also will probably write a bridge at the end; was thinking of lingering on the Db chord and using it as a pivot point to the key of Gb - oooof - V/bVII.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/3nejmc114gi3ay7/Cursed_1.mp3

Cursed
I've seen U everywhere,
And it's always a sight for dry eyes.
U are the sum of all your demons,
So before -
We can deny.

This curse,
This place;
Your unforgiving smile.
What I'd give to retrace
The million ways to walk your mile.

Star-crossed and snake bit
Did the devil lean in and kiss you?
When we don't have each other,
Who will U turn to?
Surrender and start again.

This place;
Your unforgiving smile.
What I'd give to retrace
The million ways to walk your mile.
This curse,
This place;
And every little lie
That you told to my face ...
That piano bed is reeaaal nice and it had me all the way to "we can deny". I love the the phrasing it works really well. However it starts to fall apart interest wise for me at "this curse" to "walk a mile". It feels to me like a prechorus that should build tension to a soaring chorus. Otherwise to me it meanders without emotionally going anywhere and I feel a little musically blue balled (pay off wise). But it think it has a lot of potential, definately keep on this one and only my personal opinion and maybe just my preference for music that has a bit more movement/tension, this feels despondent all the way through.

Quote
1
#729
16th February 2014
Old 16th February 2014
  #729
Gear nut
 
Triscuit's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 89

Triscuit is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by stclair View Post
That piano bed is reeaaal nice and it had me all the way to "we can deny". I love the the phrasing it works really well. However it starts to fall apart interest wise for me at "this curse" to "walk a mile". It feels to me like a prechorus that should build tension to a soaring chorus. Otherwise to me it meanders without emotionally going anywhere and I feel a little musically blue balled (pay off wise). But it think it has a lot of potential, definately keep on this one and only my personal opinion and maybe just my preference for music that has a bit more movement/tension, this feels despondent all the way through.

Thank you!! Seriously! Motivation to keep chipping away at it; I agree that he's still waiting to be carved out a bit better.

#730
22nd February 2014
Old 22nd February 2014
  #730
Gear interested
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 5

DannyKMusic is offline
#731
7th March 2014
Old 7th March 2014
  #731
Gear interested
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1

Enjoyotoz is offline
Singer Songwriter / Adult contemporary

#732
7th March 2014
Old 7th March 2014
  #732
Gear Head
 
DBmixman's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2012
Location: NYC/NJ Area
Posts: 43

DBmixman is offline
Sincere Song

Attached Files
File Type: mp3 Sincere Song 3-7-14.mp3 (3.77 MB, 31 views)
#733
7th March 2014
Old 7th March 2014
  #733
Gear interested
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1

Rodrayguns is offline
My first gearslutz post! Digging the tune DBmixman. I like the gospel feel of the verse and how it moves to a more major feel leading into the choruses. For the chorus have you thought about a bigger payoff for the vocals at the beginning of the chorus? Right now the melody sounds to me like a pre-chorus. But if instead of doing (e3 - a3 - a3 - b3 - c3) for "going to write another" you did (e3 - d4 - d4 - b3 - a3) i think it would have a bit more power. I think the melody you have now might work as a harmony or as a counter melody for another part. My two cents
Quote
1
#734
8th March 2014
Old 8th March 2014
  #734
Gear Head
 
DBmixman's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2012
Location: NYC/NJ Area
Posts: 43

DBmixman is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodrayguns View Post
My first gearslutz post! Digging the tune DBmixman. I like the gospel feel of the verse and how it moves to a more major feel leading into the choruses. For the chorus have you thought about a bigger payoff for the vocals at the beginning of the chorus? Right now the melody sounds to me like a pre-chorus. But if instead of doing (e3 - a3 - a3 - b3 - c3) for "going to write another" you did (e3 - d4 - d4 - b3 - a3) i think it would have a bit more power. I think the melody you have now might work as a harmony or as a counter melody for another part. My two cents
I like your 2 cents! Thanks for the kind word and feedback, all the best!
__________________
"Fortunately I keep my feathers numbered, for just such an emergency". F. Leghorn

http://www.RockgardenMusic.com
#735
8th March 2014
Old 8th March 2014
  #735
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,020

unclerico12 is offline
I still have to solidify the bridge a little more, but hopefully ya dig. I crushed the vocals like crazy in my Nail, and I really like how they came out.
Attached Files
File Type: mp3 I Am Yours.mp3 (5.69 MB, 47 views)
#736
11th March 2014
Old 11th March 2014
  #736
Gear Head
 
DBmixman's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2012
Location: NYC/NJ Area
Posts: 43

DBmixman is offline
Surprising no one had a single comment outside of Rodrayguns? Is that good or bad?? Bash me, compliment me, do Something!!
#737
12th March 2014
Old 12th March 2014
  #737
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,020

unclerico12 is offline
Bump for mine too...tear it apart if needed!
#738
14th March 2014
Old 14th March 2014
  #738
Lives for gear
 
everybody's x's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: kansas city
Posts: 1,741

everybody's x is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by unclerico12 View Post
I still have to solidify the bridge a little more, but hopefully ya dig. I crushed the vocals like crazy in my Nail, and I really like how they came out.
That's sounds outstanding on my iPhone speakers. And I listened to the entire song.

Two things that rarely happen.

Come on guys, my idea of a "rough" is considerably different than you guys .

This>is rough https://www.dropbox.com/s/hgtxkbpurn...ic_version.mp3

Stuff I write that I can't sing and makes me mad and I delete it. You guys are way more accomplished than I am. Y'all make me mad
#739
15th March 2014
Old 15th March 2014
  #739
Gear Head
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 30

Bigdorkus is offline
Critique,Comments,Suggestions,Directions on a new tune

I have been a long time lurker on this website and have enjoyed the benefit of the generosity,experience and knowledge of folks on here who seem to suffer the same love of music and playing that I do. I finally written tracked and recorded a tune https://soundcloud.com/sidmc-1/deepwater and posted it on soundcloud hoping for a little feedback. Thanks
pinkheadedbug
Thread Starter
#740
15th March 2014
Old 15th March 2014
  #740
Lives for gear
 
pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,441

Thread Starter
pinkheadedbug is online now
Here's a real rough one hot out of the toaster oven.

Decided to write a summer song since it's been such a shitty winter. Imagine it pumping out of a transistor radio on a sunny windowsill in 1978 while Mum is doing the dishes and listening to the top 20.

Started out as a two chord song (Bb/C and Fmaj7) but then it got a mind of its own and took a bit of a scenic route to the chorus. Seems to have acquired the bassline from 'A Town Called Malice' at some point too.

Edging towards a final arrangement for this, not mixed at all yet though

Edit: This is kind of a final mix now

https://soundcloud.com/sportswriters/another-sunny-day
#741
15th March 2014
Old 15th March 2014
  #741
Gear Head
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 30

Bigdorkus is offline
I like the sound pink, the blowing beat, jangling guitars and the Fmaj7 but i am not sure what the hook is.
#742
15th March 2014
Old 15th March 2014
  #742
Gear Head
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 30

Bigdorkus is offline
Hey Everybody love that beat, I couldn't resist, jam to it for an hour. Slow dirt and tremolo in Am how sweet. All it needs is a gravel voice and something sad to sing. I am thinking kinda Mark Knopfler, Fade To Black
pinkheadedbug
Thread Starter
#743
15th March 2014
Old 15th March 2014
  #743
Lives for gear
 
pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,441

Thread Starter
pinkheadedbug is online now
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigdorkus View Post
I like the sound pink, the blowing beat, jangling guitars and the Fmaj7 but i am not sure what the hook is.
Thanks!

The hook is meant to be the 'sneakin' out the back door... another sunny day' part...

It's a weird structure because it starts out on the Bb/C Fmaj7 riff, which is the verse, then it goes into that long descending prechorus, and then it always wanted to go back to that riff for the chorus for some reason. So the verse and the chorus are the same thing really. That's just the way it demanded to be written.

I tried to differentiate them a bit in the final mix by keeping the Cornell Dupree double stops out of the verse and cutting back on the BVs in the verse so the chorus kicks in a bit more... don't know if it made a whole hunk of difference or not...

https://soundcloud.com/sportswriters/another-sunny-day
#744
17th March 2014
Old 17th March 2014
  #744
Gear interested
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15

thejustinbus is offline
Pink: Awesome sound. I want to hear more of what you're doing. I think when the mix gets tighter it'll be killer.

Unclerico: Mix is way good. Really tight production and I wouldn't even consider this a rough mix. It comes off like a christian radio song, not sure if that's what you're going for.

Justin Edwards: I dig the music. Really good vides. The lyrics kind of seem busy at parts and feel like the vocals might do better closer to center? That ending is amazing.


I just put together a few parts for possible songs; these are more like ideas to build a dream on. Tell me what to throw or keep.
Justin Carothers Music, Lyrics, Songs, and Videos
#745
18th March 2014
Old 18th March 2014
  #745
Gear interested
 
bobman360's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1

bobman360 is offline
I made this to give a general outline of some vocals to my band's singer. The main guitar and drums were recorded on an iphone. The uhh thing isn't actually a part of the song, I just wanted to make sure ardour was recording.

https://soundcloud.com/nathan-mutchler1/what-remains
#746
19th March 2014
Old 19th March 2014
  #746
Lives for gear
 
Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,020

unclerico12 is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by everybody's x View Post
That's sounds outstanding on my iPhone speakers. And I listened to the entire song.

Two things that rarely happen.

Come on guys, my idea of a "rough" is considerably different than you guys .

This>is rough https://www.dropbox.com/s/hgtxkbpurn...ic_version.mp3

Stuff I write that I can't sing and makes me mad and I delete it. You guys are way more accomplished than I am. Y'all make me mad
Thanks so much for listening and I'm stoked you enjoyed it. I really dug your song. I really like the chord voicings you chose...and great voice!
#747
19th March 2014
Old 19th March 2014
  #747
Lives for gear
 
everybody's x's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: kansas city
Posts: 1,741

everybody's x is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by unclerico12 View Post
Thanks so much for listening and I'm stoked you enjoyed it. I really dug your song. I really like the chord voicings you chose...and great voice!
Ha! really? Thank you. I despise my voice
#748
4 Weeks Ago
Old 4 Weeks Ago
  #748
Gear interested
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 11

BrandenH is offline
I suck, but one day I'll be better.

Hello. Here is a new song I'm working on. Thanks for any feedback!



-Brandenh
Attached Files
File Type: mp3 ground on which I stood.mp3 (4.04 MB, 14 views)
#749
4 Weeks Ago
Old 4 Weeks Ago
  #749
Gear interested
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 11

BrandenH is offline
Quote:
Originally Posted by unclerico12 View Post
I still have to solidify the bridge a little more, but hopefully ya dig. I crushed the vocals like crazy in my Nail, and I really like how they came out.
Very good quality. Writing a song that good is most definitely not easy.
#750
4 Weeks Ago
Old 4 Weeks Ago
  #750
Gear nut
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 95

Fuzzboy is offline
Dirty garage Songs

Hi all,

this is the first time I'm posting on this thread.
I'd like to share with you some dirty versions of our current demo.
Do you find them too dirty?

www.myspace.com/djyne

Be sure to listen to the "album", the track order is more interesting^^

We are a rock duo; we recorded this whole demo live, with a really rough and quick mix, with almost no effect, except delay on lead vocals (which puts delay on the WHOLE mix, as there's a lot a bleeding through the lead mic...).
The real problem is the cymbals bleeding.

I quite like it actually, I really like that dirty feel, but maybe for someone who's not used to our songs, it could be a hard listening experience.

We do have a "clean" version a the tracks we did a few days ago, with overdubed vocals, but they're not completely finished, I'll post them on the finish section when done.

So it's all about to have some feedback on our music.


Cheers,
Jean
New Reply Submit Thread to Facebook Facebook  Submit Thread to Twitter Twitter  Submit Thread to LinkedIn LinkedIn  Submit Thread to Google+ Google+ 
 
Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Similar Threads
Thread
Thread Starter / Forum
Replies
dhollmusik / Electronic Music Instruments & Electronic Music Production
15
linchpin123 / Work In Progress / Advice Requested / Show & Tell / Artist Showcase / Mix-Offs
1
ianvargo / Work In Progress / Advice Requested / Show & Tell / Artist Showcase / Mix-Offs
4
dagg / So much gear, so little time!
8
Mr Funk / Work In Progress / Advice Requested / Show & Tell / Artist Showcase / Mix-Offs
10

Forum Jump

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.