Being a Gearslut doesn't make you attractive to women. Solutions!

[Fishmac]

Alright,
i started out being a singer and a guitar player in high school. it was a great time. a couple of friends did the same and we shared new chords, played songs and soon i got a cheap electric guitar and formed a band. if i look back at those times from an artistic perspective, we were lousy and loud. but we were having a lot of fun, we were making music - and the whole music thing worked as a social superpower. the guys respected it and the girls loved it. doing a cover of stairway at the campfire (or even sound of silence or even lady in black) worked wonders. i figured out that music was some kind of magical power that could hypnotize girls in a absolute direct way. i did something that i truly loved and it got me attraction. the world was perfect.
then i got interested in gear. recording became a fascinating art form for me. the mixing process, working with sound, shaping it, balancing it, the whole thing sucked me in and i loved it (as you do). i'm still a musician and my basic idea was to be able to record and mix my own stuff, but for a couple of years i focused at the art of being a gearslut. that was the time when the problems arose. i had a girlfriend who always liked my guitar playing and singing, but she was not even able to understand what i was doing now ("this is a great compressor, honey, isn't it?"). we broke up after a while and it made me think...
let's be honest. recording, mixing and mastering music doesn't help you a lot in being attractive to people. yeah, you do make "something with music" but who knows about this stuff. when i play a song of a band that i mixed i get something like "sounds good" - if the style of the band fits the taste of the listener. when i played tracks to my ex-girlfriend she always heard the music and not the sound. sure, that's what the job is about, but it's a bad thing anyway! you can communicate your work only with a small crowd.
maybe i'm doing something wrong, but i have the impression you only gain attraction in this business if you are doing the big jobs and hang out with "important people". for the majority, what you are doing is an invisible art form. the only thing more invisible i can imagine is doing film sound which is meant to be not recognized.
so- do you have similar experiences, or did you find a way to make yourself interesting? how do you cope with it?
any ideas or different experiences are welcome!

[Dz7]

Depends what type of woman you're looking for..

(and how solid your prenuptial is...)

[tha]-[acksaw]

Originally Posted by Fishmac

Alright,
i started out being a singer and a guitar player in high school. it was a great time. a couple of friends did the same and we shared new chords, played songs and soon i got a cheap electric guitar and formed a band. if i look back at those times from an artistic perspective, we were lousy and loud. but we were having a lot of fun, we were making music - and the whole music thing worked as a social superpower. the guys respected it and the girls loved it. doing a cover of stairway at the campfire (or even sound of silence or even lady in black) worked wonders. i figured out that music was some kind of magical power that could hypnotize girls in a absolute direct way. i did something that i truly loved and it got me attraction. the world was perfect.
then i got interested in gear. recording became a fascinating art form for me. the mixing process, working with sound, shaping it, balancing it, the whole thing sucked me in and i loved it (as you do). i'm still a musician and my basic idea was to be able to record and mix my own stuff, but for a couple of years i focused at the art of being a gearslut. that was the time when the problems arose. i had a girlfriend who always liked my guitar playing and singing, but she was not even able to understand what i was doing now ("this is a great compressor, honey, isn't it?"). we broke up after a while and it made me think...
let's be honest. recording, mixing and mastering music doesn't help you a lot in being attractive to people. yeah, you do make "something with music" but who knows about this stuff. when i play a song of a band that i mixed i get something like "sounds good" - if the style of the band fits the taste of the listener. when i played tracks to my ex-girlfriend she always heard the music and not the sound. sure, that's what the job is about, but it's a bad thing anyway! you can communicate your work only with a small crowd.
maybe i'm doing something wrong, but i have the impression you only gain attraction in this business if you are doing the big jobs and hang out with "important people". for the majority, what you are doing is an invisible art form. the only thing more invisible i can imagine is doing film sound which is meant to be not recognized.
so- do you have similar experiences, or did you find a way to make yourself interesting? how do you cope with it?
any ideas or different experiences are welcome!

LOL. This is a pretty comedy post. I can't even being to tell you how many girlfriends I've lost since moving more toward the engineer side. They just never ever get it. Who blames them. Late nights, long weekends, after hours obsessing over sounds, spending time "working" when it looks like "playing", dealing with musicians, buying tools that might look to some like toys. It's totally effed, and I don't really expect much to change. But regardless of relationship problems, I still love this and have no plans to give it up.

But I hear you on the, chics dig singer/songwriters, and such. Some girls don't care at all. Other's get totally floored. And if you move toward engineering, maybe you will see this side of wooing starting to slip. But just about once a week I sit down for a few hours and go through all my "need to get laid" songs. HAHA! And god damn if it doesn't pay off ever month or so.


When your out and about, and chatting it up with some local cutie, and she jumps at the fact that you play, sing and write, that should be your que to go in for the kill. The key is to pay attention to how high they jump at the idea of you playing/singing. Cause the higher they jump, they less grounded they are... and sheat... you might end up with a head case on your hands.

[Schneider]

etch chanel logos onto each unit...

or go one step further and just label them with their price!


but as long as my wife knows i play a strat "like john mayer" I'm fine

[Jomox]

Being involved in audio I've found attracts women.

[erikdrink]

Funny thread

[thepilgrimsdream]

My best friend, she is a very singer, she loves audio production, and is into gear, and we're working on an album together......We're both semi-pro musicians. We'll see where things go, I might just end up luckier than all of you. haha

[BudgetMC]

I'm lucky to be married to a techie babe. She dug my music from the beginning, and has supported my gradual slide into audio geekdom. As an example, when we were finishing out our basement last year, she looked at the plans and said "Your studio space isn't going to be big enough. You should redesign it to be bigger." Ah... be still my heart!

How did I get so lucky?

I'll share my secret weapon with you.

I can cook.

[mattg082]

When I was on the Musician side playing live I always got girls...Even managed to score a few threesomes after shows I still produced at the time, but that was at home and quicly went to live shows as fast as my band turned out new things. When I decided to take a backseat and focus on production of not just myself, but actually make a living . investing in good gear...Oh man. My last gf hated I would spend hours mixing or on GS...saying honey I'll be in bed in a few min. She thought I was obsessed and said, I don't see how it can work with music being number one and me second...Well, damn I'm sorry for wanting a career, being as close as I've ever come to a degree, busting my ass while she smokes pot on the couch all day...so I just stop everything I'm doing. Funny thing is she was a musician at some point and use to enjoy studio time and writing funny songs with me when we met years ago...

Personally I let women know what I do and show my own personal music, but I don't let on to too much or go on about it anymore. They just see all the gear, want to get drunk and sing into a mic. Hours later they think they are lady gaga and have you to thank. So yeah getting chicks that are interested in recording to come play around on your free time on the weekend works. It creates a bond with her that you two had fun and made something special...while getting close at the same time. I see it more as a creative activity you can share.

Women like the singing, attention and feeling, not so much the details it takes getting there. I hav two or three studio bunnies

There is one girl that suprised me. We were hanging out and she busts out her laptop and has a ton of songs written in Ableton and Reason...She says, can you help me? I say will you marry me? haha not really but, it was a surprise to see such a sought after pretty girl into that kind of thing and invested her own money and time to learn.

[halcyo]

Just don't lose the artist/performer side of your hustle.

To most people- not just women- musicians are mysterious, creative, sexy, and fun and engineers/producers are old burnt out hippies, nerds, 80's leftovers with mullets and pot bellies, and don't shower enough. Is this fair or true? No, but it's the stereotype. Deal with it.

I do think you can get around it by doing both. Just be sure to mention that you are a musician/artist/performer first- who produces records as well lol

[MoBeach]

I couldn't even read Sonar 8 Power without my girlfriend getting jealous...

[JP11]

Solution? Roofies...

[mattg082]

A few drinks and then ask her if she's any good at playing the skin flute?

[Oli_W]

My girlfriend is a Physicist so I relate a lot of my work to physics and she loves it! Talking about waves and stuff. Try and find a common-ground between engineering and whatever it is that the girl of your dreams is interested in.

Call yourself a "producer" too, that helps.

[joeq]

Originally Posted by halcyo

Just don't lose the artist/performer side of your hustle.

To most people- not just women- musicians are mysterious, creative, sexy, and fun and engineers/producers are old burnt out hippies, nerds, 80's leftovers with mullets and pot bellies, and don't shower enough. Is this fair or true? No, but it's the stereotype. Deal with it.

I do think you can get around it by doing both. Just be sure to mention that you are a musician/artist/performer first- who produces records as well lol

and really only the guitar counts. Skip the drums or the keyboards

[Yummerz]

The solution is to be an attractive human being first, who incidentally happens to be an engineer.

[pan]

Buy a PURPLE and show her your racks!

[The Byre]

Women are attracted to men who are autonomous, or who hold out the promise of future autonomy. Sound engineers are usually poor and have to do what others tell them to do. Therefore, they are seldom autonomous.

Women are very practical like that!

[The Vulture]

Nice thread

My wife is as little interested in audio gear as I am in her interest in fashion.
Trying to speak to her about cool outboard is pure stupidity

But we have played in bands together for years and toured most of europe so we have other interests we can share.

My advice.
Don't try to "use" anything to get girls.
If they like you on behalf of anything other then the real you, well, you will never be happy.
If you just wanna **** and can't get it.
I can't relate to that and don't care.

Good luck

[Ernest Buckley]

Originally Posted by Fishmac

Alright,
i started out being a singer and a guitar player in high school. it was a great time. a couple of friends did the same and we shared new chords, played songs and soon i got a cheap electric guitar and formed a band. if i look back at those times from an artistic perspective, we were lousy and loud. but we were having a lot of fun, we were making music - and the whole music thing worked as a social superpower. the guys respected it and the girls loved it. doing a cover of stairway at the campfire (or even sound of silence or even lady in black) worked wonders. i figured out that music was some kind of magical power that could hypnotize girls in a absolute direct way. i did something that i truly loved and it got me attraction. the world was perfect.
then i got interested in gear. recording became a fascinating art form for me. the mixing process, working with sound, shaping it, balancing it, the whole thing sucked me in and i loved it (as you do). i'm still a musician and my basic idea was to be able to record and mix my own stuff, but for a couple of years i focused at the art of being a gearslut. that was the time when the problems arose. i had a girlfriend who always liked my guitar playing and singing, but she was not even able to understand what i was doing now ("this is a great compressor, honey, isn't it?"). we broke up after a while and it made me think...
let's be honest. recording, mixing and mastering music doesn't help you a lot in being attractive to people. yeah, you do make "something with music" but who knows about this stuff. when i play a song of a band that i mixed i get something like "sounds good" - if the style of the band fits the taste of the listener. when i played tracks to my ex-girlfriend she always heard the music and not the sound. sure, that's what the job is about, but it's a bad thing anyway! you can communicate your work only with a small crowd.
maybe i'm doing something wrong, but i have the impression you only gain attraction in this business if you are doing the big jobs and hang out with "important people". for the majority, what you are doing is an invisible art form. the only thing more invisible i can imagine is doing film sound which is meant to be not recognized.
so- do you have similar experiences, or did you find a way to make yourself interesting? how do you cope with it?
any ideas or different experiences are welcome!

The trick my friend is to do both! For example, the next time you`re playing back a mix to one of your female friends, stand with authority in front of the speakers with a 6 string around your neck. There is something really appealing to a woman when a man stands with authority. The guitar only helps. To the more artistic woman, hold an acoustic and appear really sensitive.

You too can have your cake and eat it too.

[Ernest Buckley]

Originally Posted by joeq

[Pies]

Being involved in audio I've found attracts women.

Being a good guy attracts women, that is all

I don't know where this misconception of if I work in music girls will be hanging off me (any girls who do like you solely for this reason are shallow and thinking of money and status, if only they knew lol)


I can dispel this rumor from personal experience:

1. Studio - The only attractive girls I see these days apart from my partner are girls coming to the studio. I think all studio engineers should note these girls only like me and you because we make them sound good and NOT because they find us irresistibly attractive and want to nosh us off in the vocal booth.

2. Live - I can walk across a festival site without one person stopping me but as soon as I walk into a back stage area or FOH tower and flash a pass girls want to talk to me. Remember this happens not because they want to nosh you the engineer off, they simply see you as a way to get back stage so they can try and nosh the star off.

[Enlightened Hand]

Originally Posted by Yummerz

The solution is to be an attractive human being first, who incidentally happens to be an engineer.

+1

Most guys are out of shape and unattractive, not to mention the ones that might happen to be passably attractive being ugly spirited people.

If the girl is practical she'll want a genuinely nice guy that can take care of himself and a potential family first. But if he can do that and he's physically attractive and interesting he's a keeper. If she's a party girl all he'll need to be is rich and up for having a good time. But that stuff never lasts.

Audio engineers are usually poor. So party girls aren't usually down. They are also usually very unattractive and out of shape. So they don't help their own advertisement. On top of that what they do is usually perceived as boring and uninteresting, again guys in the field take advertising hits because of it. Finally the stability of their career is usually in doubt, so practical girls are turned off. It's pretty much a losing situation if you happen to tick all of the "usual" audio engineer descriptive boxes.

If you want to attract women nothing beats a clean, fit, well dressed and reasonably attractive man with an affable personality and reasonable financial stability. It really doesn't matter what you do (as long as you don't club baby seals or kill people for a living).

[noiseflaw]

Originally Posted by pan

Buy a PURPLE and show her your racks!

Show her your...

[timlloyd]

Originally Posted by Yummerz

The solution is to be an attractive human being first, who incidentally happens to be an engineer.

mmm, a bit beyond the maturity of a lot of people unfortunately :-|

[toolate4roses]

Being passionate about anything and not letting women distract you from that is attractive to women.
As long as that thing isn't comic books

[Fishmac]

Originally Posted by Ernest Buckley

The trick my friend is to do both! For example, the next time you`re playing back a mix to one of your female friends, stand with authority in front of the speakers with a 6 string around your neck. There is something really appealing to a woman when a man stands with authority. The guitar only helps. To the more artistic woman, hold an acoustic and appear really sensitive.

You too can have your cake and eat it too.

Great idea! that made my day! grab the six string and play the mix. that's genius, you don't even have to play! i bet she will somehow connect your work (the mix) with your obvious musicianship. maybe she will unconsciously connect these two things as if you are producing all the music with the instrument.

great responses so far, i really enjoy reading

[The Vulture]

Originally Posted by Frank_Case

Computer programmers have the same problems you describe. And somehow most of them procreate. And all male audio engineers are given penises at birth which work as designed. And of course there are a few engineers in the world who will turn into eunuchs, but their numbers are few.

In sum, audio engineers have a bright future when it comes to women. "Hey baby let me turn your knobs because I am so experienced! I love to make my mix redline. No output is too hot for me. Let me show you just how stimulating my stereo outs can be. And I promise that when you scream I won't turn on the de-esser. Have you ever been dithered baby?"

Well I am sure you get laid a lot.

Just kidding

EDIT.
Don`t EVER use one of those pickup lines!

[Unclenny]

Originally Posted by tha]-[acksaw

.....the higher they jump, they less grounded they are...

I was that kid on the beach in the 60's with that Silvertone electric......no amp, of course. Didn't need one. Only knew three chords......wait, I still only know three chords....

The thing is, men of this species have always used whatever props possible to attract a potential mate. It may be a subconscious thing but we do it. The studio has never been one of them....never.

I have been engineering through three marriages. I can't even begin to tell how often I have heard the dreaded...."That's nice, dear."

Luckily....

Originally Posted by BudgetMC

I can cook.

[Jules]

Its funny though, when you work on the control-room side of the glass, sometimes musicians, who for the duration of the recording, can sweetly, (but mistakenly) believe that the production team (producer / engineer) are somehow "senior" to them, higher up the "status" totem pole, and then go on to imagine that being 'the boss' in a studio environment must be a magnet to attract the opposite sex!

Ah..Hahahahahaha..!

Ahurhurhurhurhurhurhurvhurhurhurhur!

Cough!Cough!Cough!

Sob!

FAIL!