I want to mix your song for a FEE!!!

T'Mershi Duween · 4th September 2010

I'm in the process of putting out a new "I'd rather be fu#king your girlfriend" tutorial.

So I need your crappy song to mix! While I'm "doing her" on video, your music will be playing in the background. I'm putting this out to the jaded folks at Gearslutz to offer up a hot chick that will be in the video.

If it's your girlfriend, I will need your (and her) written permission to allow me to use her in the video without further compensation (besides receiving a finished professional mix for a fee of $150 an hour and me lovingly plugging her in the tutorial). If it's not your girlfriend, you will need permission from the bass player and/or boyfriend.

Song Requirements:

1. The song needs to be funky and "hump-able". People are going to watch me "do her" for four or more hours. They have to be able to tolerate the song.

2. It needs to be a Christian/Death Ska-Punk song. If I think of Rob Thomas or Kings of Leon I may lose my erection. Must be very progressive (King Crimson) and nothing too auto-tuned. Preferably a female singer and she must be hot! I can't fu#k an ugly singer while I mix!

3. The song should NOT be recorded by YOU! If it sounds like an amateur bedroom boffin before I mix it, I can't really use it. I need to show what can be done with an SM7 inserted into an orifice just so. I can't use "country music", but it should be a little less than "big city" sounding. In other words, it should need some "hillbilly thump". If the mix you have now sounds like shite, please don't submit it.

4. It needs to be multi-fracked with many separated bagpipe overdubs. I can't use a stereo harmonica stem. I need each percussion to have a mic on it. At least a tambourine, cowbell, triangle, timbale and butt mic. Must be a live girl as well. The same with the other instruments. Each part should have it's own smell.

5. Any format is fine, but if it's Pro Tools, you have to be willing to pay me upfront and erase the "important" effects. Effects that are integral to the production of bodily fluids (precious or otherwise).

That's pretty much it, innit? (at least for now you silly cow...)

Please submit your song by linking to a sausage. Not to my email or pant leg

And please don't be offended if your girlfriend isn't picked. The criteria is very ridiculous. It doesn't mean your girlfriend isn't the prettiest. It's based on the whims and desires of a deviant "producer".

Thanks!

fuuck

Arlo · 4th September 2010

Wow, I'm in!!

My babe left me, but I have a healthy seven year old Hereford cow who doesn't mind a little Saturday night craziness. With a quart of motor oil you'll be shocked at what is physically possible with this luscious stack of drooling, beefy goodness

The song you'll be mixing is "Baby, there ain't nothin gross about you"

4th September 2010	#1
T'Mershi Duween Lives for gear Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: worldwide Posts: 611 Thread Starter	I want to mix your song for a FEE!!! I'm in the process of putting out a new "I'd rather be fu#king your girlfriend" tutorial. So I need your crappy song to mix! While I'm "doing her" on video, your music will be playing in the background. I'm putting this out to the jaded folks at Gearslutz to offer up a hot chick that will be in the video. If it's your girlfriend, I will need your (and her) written permission to allow me to use her in the video without further compensation (besides receiving a finished professional mix for a fee of $150 an hour and me lovingly plugging her in the tutorial). If it's not your girlfriend, you will need permission from the bass player and/or boyfriend. Song Requirements: 1. The song needs to be funky and "hump-able". People are going to watch me "do her" for four or more hours. They have to be able to tolerate the song. 2. It needs to be a Christian/Death Ska-Punk song. If I think of Rob Thomas or Kings of Leon I may lose my erection. Must be very progressive (King Crimson) and nothing too auto-tuned. Preferably a female singer and she must be hot! I can't fu#k an ugly singer while I mix! 3. The song should NOT be recorded by YOU! If it sounds like an amateur bedroom boffin before I mix it, I can't really use it. I need to show what can be done with an SM7 inserted into an orifice just so. I can't use "country music", but it should be a little less than "big city" sounding. In other words, it should need some "hillbilly thump". If the mix you have now sounds like shite, please don't submit it. 4. It needs to be multi-fracked with many separated bagpipe overdubs. I can't use a stereo harmonica stem. I need each percussion to have a mic on it. At least a tambourine, cowbell, triangle, timbale and butt mic. Must be a live girl as well. The same with the other instruments. Each part should have it's own smell. 5. Any format is fine, but if it's Pro Tools, you have to be willing to pay me upfront and erase the "important" effects. Effects that are integral to the production of bodily fluids (precious or otherwise). That's pretty much it, innit? (at least for now you silly cow...) Please submit your song by linking to a sausage. Not to my email or pant leg And please don't be offended if your girlfriend isn't picked. The criteria is very ridiculous. It doesn't mean your girlfriend isn't the prettiest. It's based on the whims and desires of a deviant "producer". Thanks! fuuck __________________ Some of my music... http://soundcloud.com/terrydouglas/sets/arcadian-smile *When I'm not* reading Gearslutz... music rant**

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4th September 2010	#2
Arlo 3 + infractions, forum membership suspended. Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 498	Wow, I'm in!! My babe left me, but I have a healthy seven year old Hereford cow who doesn't mind a little Saturday night craziness. With a quart of motor oil you'll be shocked at what is physically possible with this luscious stack of drooling, beefy goodness The song you'll be mixing is "Baby, there ain't nothin gross about you"