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20th December 2009
| #1 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,990
Thread Starter | A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar...
(finish this joke and/or provide your own with similar templates, I know some of you are very clever, my apologies if you expected a punchline  ).
__________________ Gear Behringer Truth B2030A—Behringer MS40A—Fairchild 670 Comp(ensation For Small Privates)ressor—Behringer DR400 (Reverb)—Behringer MX9000—Behringer RV600 (Reverb)—Behringer MS40A (Doorstop) Plugins IK Multimedia Philharmonik—MK29 Studio Client Behaviorizer Beta version—KA-AP Kick Drum Knockerizer version 2.006—Native Instruments Kontakt 2—Absynth 2—Native Instruments Komplete 3—KA-AP Make Hot Female Lead Want You-erizer 4—Clintlace Scary Debt Collector Excuse-Maker 8 |
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20th December 2009
| #2 | ||
| Moderator  Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,389
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That poor mastering engineer; the mixing engineer wants him to leave the mix basically as-is, and the A&R guy wants him to crush it and add gobs of top-end, and each probably won't come back again if they don't get their way. No wonder the mastering guy needs a drink! | ||
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20th December 2009
| #3 |
| Gear nut Joined: Aug 2008 Location: Nashville
Posts: 129
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... the mixing engineer says "I'll have a cold one." The mastering engineer says "me, too." The record exec says "sure, just let me clock in." Just a small crack at the way the industry is heading.  Bad joke.
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20th December 2009
| #4 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: May 2005 Location: Albany, New York
Posts: 9,509
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I would take it in the direction of 'And the exec says, "Hey, great sound system!" And the ME says, "I wish they would crank it and compress the hell out of it!" And the mix engineer says, "I remember when listening to music was fun."
__________________ Mountaintop Studios ~the peak of perfection~ Petersburgh NY 12138 mountaintop@taconic.net www.joelpatterson.us |
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20th December 2009
| #5 | ||
| Lives for gear  Joined: Mar 2009 Location: Portland, ME
Posts: 1,375
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... They all have a couple rounds of drinks, expecting each other to pick up the tab. Closing time, everyone's got empty wallets. The bartender says "It's okay boys, it's on the house. I've got a project studio at home..." 
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20th December 2009
| #6 |
| Lives for gear Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,990
Thread Starter |
OOOH LOOK OVER THERE There is an A&R, artist, and producer also getting geared up to head to the same bar at precisely the same time... |
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20th December 2009
| #7 |
| Lives for gear Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 671
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Well, I know what the bartender would say: (Clint Eastwood style) "Get the f@#* out of my bar!!" 
__________________ Sorry for any bad grammar/spelling, I'm not from around here  |
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20th December 2009
| #8 |
| Lives for gear Joined: Sep 2004 Location: West Haven, CT
Posts: 3,018
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... The mix engineer orders a martini, The mastering engineer orders a gin and tonic, The rekkid exec says "do a focus group and gimme whatever was most popular". |
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20th December 2009
| #9 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Aug 2009 Location: in your cellar
Posts: 1,733
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A mix engineer, mastering engineer & and A&R walk into a bar. The mix engineer grabs a beer, the A&R grabs a G&T (or other noncey cocktail) and the ME orders a bottle of vodka - to dull the feeling of despair and frustation from spending the day with the other two schmucks.
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20th December 2009
| #10 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Sep 2005 Location: Montreal
Posts: 2,170
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... All 3 ask if there is an opening as a bussboy.
__________________ www.upliftproductions.com www.slavesondope.com www.facebook.com/slavesondopeofficial |
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20th December 2009
| #11 | |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Terra Firma
Posts: 6,366
| Quote:
So far........... | |
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20th December 2009
| #12 |
| Lives for gear  |
They all order Manhattans. The Mix Engineer says "This is mixed wrong." The Mastering Engineer says "No... it isn't finished, it just needs something extra." The Record Executive says "It's perfect. The bartender is really good looking."
__________________ Budget MC Productions: Where the Tubes are Hot and the Beer is Cold. Mastering for the People! http://theaudiomc.com |
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20th December 2009
| #13 | |
| Lives for gear  | Quote:
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20th December 2009
| #14 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Sep 2003 Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,627
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executive: I'll have a Margarita. bartender: The only tequila I have left isn't very good. executive: Just fix it in the mix.
__________________ She's tidied up and I can't find anything |
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20th December 2009
| #15 |
| Lives for gear Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 791
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A mix engineer, a mastering engineer and a record executive walk into a bar where they notice a really good band is playing. During the break they decide to talk with the band leader and offer their services as part of a spec deal. The band leader pulls out his iPhone, shows them his band's website and says "No thanks, we already did all that ourselves." |
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20th December 2009
| #16 |
| Lives for gear  |
A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... They all lived just over the road in an apartment block, flats to us civilised Brits... However, the mixing engineer had walked 3 miles round the block because the pavements are the originals laid in 1930 and give a far better grip on the soles of his shoes.. The Mastering engineer abseiled from his window to avoid having to deal with the bump at 200HZ the elevator produces as it descends... and the record co exec was only there cos a limo dumped him outside and the driver told him there was free coke and bjs..
__________________ http://www.myspace.com/tubilahdog |
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20th December 2009
| #17 | |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Mar 2008 Location: ypsilanti
Posts: 1,255
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winner! | |
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20th December 2009
| #18 | |
| Lives for gear Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,990
Thread Starter | Quote:
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20th December 2009
| #19 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Dec 2003 Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 7,941
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... The artist asks, "So what can I get you guys?"
__________________ What the wise man does in the beginning, fools do in the end. --Warren Buffett The four most expensive words in the English language are: "This time it's different." --John Marks Templeton |
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20th December 2009
| #20 | |
| Lives for gear Joined: Aug 2009 Location: in your cellar
Posts: 1,733
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New winner! | |
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20th December 2009
| #21 |
| Gear maniac  Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 193
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... The Record company executive yells, "Great job making that record loud you two." The engineers yell, "What?"
__________________ Dave Phillips "Don't pay any attention to the critics - don't even ignore them." - movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn (to his staff) </piracy> The bartender says, "Don't forget to tip your musicians and engineers." |
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21st December 2009
| #22 |
| Lives for gear  |
A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... The bartender says: Hey Chris Lago!! what'll you have?  |
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21st December 2009
| #23 | |
| Lives for gear Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,990
Thread Starter | Quote:
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21st December 2009
| #24 |
| Lives for gear  Joined: May 2005 Location: Slum-a-ville, Mass
Posts: 6,312
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Wow! Some really great ones in here! Nice work, fellas  |
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21st December 2009
| #25 |
| Lives for gear  |
A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... They spot an attractive woman across the room. The mixing engineer says, "Nice rack." The mastering engineer says, "Big Bottom." The Executive says, "I have to speak to my lawyer."
__________________ ernestbuckley.com The single from my next record, "Shes So Ready" You don`t need any more gear, you need to re-write the chorus.  |
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21st December 2009
| #26 | |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Dec 2005 Location: London
Posts: 1,956
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21st December 2009
| #27 | |
| Lives for gear  | Quote:
 some good jokes ITT | |
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21st December 2009
| #28 |
| Gear addict  Joined: Aug 2007 Location: Laurel Canyon
Posts: 326
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A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar... The bartender asks each one what they do. The mix engineers says...I mix music for a living. The mastering engineers says...I assemble, process, and package the mixes he creates to turn it into a final record. The bartender then turns to the executive and says, what about you? The executive replies..."what's a record?" |
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21st December 2009
| #29 | |
| Lives for gear  Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,746
| Quote:
 Funny sh#t!
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21st December 2009
| #30 |
| Gear Guru |
All the good ones are taken so I'll have to improvise... A mixing engineer, mastering engineer, and record executive walk into a bar. The bartender says, what would you guys like? The mixing engineer sames, give me something with some punch. The mastering engineer says, I'd prefer something flat. The recorded exective says, a BMW.
__________________ Dean Roddey Chairman/CTO Charmed Quark Systems, Ltd www.charmedquark.com Be a control freak! |
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