Impressions of Gearslutz from a newbie

[fallforward]

Originally Posted by KAB

OP - no mention of the Distressor? Bricasti M7?

(Great post, btw.)

Yes there must be mention of the distressor. And really great post I really enjoyed reading this thread.

Just one question… What was your handle on GS before you created mrnemo? C’mon there is no way you picked all that out as a mere lurker. Who is the Andy Kaufman behind your Tony Cliton? The Stephen King behind your Richard Bachman? The Sam Clemens behind your Mark Twain?

Enquiring minds want to know…
Robby

[solitud]

My favorite GS Phrases:

You can`t compare the two [GS Devices]. They are completely different animals.
That's because [GS Device 1] blows [GS Device 2] out of the water.
It's the real deal.

[Porter]

ROFL!!! funniest post i've ever read! Haven't laughed that hard in months or longer!

[DarkSky Media]

Originally Posted by solitud

That's because [GS Device 1] blows [GS Device 2] out of the water...

Which is actually a good thing in most cases. Don't want *my* audio gear getting wet!

[solitud]

Originally Posted by DSM Interactive

Which is actually a good thing in most cases. Don't want *my* audio gear getting wet!

If someone has posted the thread about two different animals blowing each other out of the water in a greenpeace forum, the people were convinced, that the two animals are some kind of scared whales which are disturbed through military sonar noise.

[bee]

Originally Posted by mrnemo

I thought it would be interesting for me to give you feedback on what a typical person of average skill and intelligence has gathered from reading Gearslutz. I am a blank slate, and have literally been reading the forum 12 hours a day for the last 2 weeks.

1. Low-end gear means anything under $2000.
2. Everything made by Neumann is crap today. I mean Grade-A dog diarrhea. People only use it because of hype or because they have deals (like LA Guitar Quartet - the KM184 actually SUCKS for guitars, but they have an endorsement so they HAVE to use them...)
3. The Yamaha NS-10M is the worst speaker in the world. The sound is somewhat like putting tape over the mouths of two macaws and tasing them simultaneously (make sure they aren't flush against the wall).
4. The only monitors anyone should ever use are the ADAM A7's or maybe - JUST MAYBE - the Barefoot speakers or the Dynaudio M3's. And you really need a sub for those.
5. Avalon 737 is trash.
6. Avalon 747 is trash.
7. The Avalon M5 is OK "for bass."
8. The only mics that can be used for classical guitar are the $2500 Schoeps or some equally priced Sennheiser. Otherwise, nothing in your mic cabinet will work.
9. Teams of well-paid German, Austrian, and Russian engineers consistently miss the mark, because any piece of equipment can be modded by you for $30 in parts to make it sound "just like a Neumann XX" (vintage of course).
10. Anything with the number "500" on it is a great piece of gear.
11. Anything that says Apogee is good.
12. Anything that has a cat logo or the name of a type of cat is good.
13. The Fireface is really the only firewire interface anyone should ever consider. Everything else - EVERYTHING - belongs in the skip.
14. Why aren't you using a Mac?
15. The TLM 103 is by far the worst microphone made. It makes everything sound like Fiona Apple wrapped in carpet.
16. The TLM 49 is a close second. It makes everything sound like Barry White garggling wasps.
17. You should've gotten a Soundelux U195. God, it is so much better than any Neumann.
18. Or a Peluso 2247.
19. If it doesn't say Neve, it is crap.
20. If it doesn't say API, it is crap.
21. If it doesn't say Manley, it is crap.
22. In a "comparison post," whatever YOU own is BETTER, regardless of whether you've ever heard of it or used it, or if your gear was even listed in the OP's comparison.
23. Any piece of equipment that is available at Guitar Center or American Musical is crap, except maybe a U87, but that is junk too unless someone from GS swallows it and sh*ts it out, a technique used to simulate 40 years of delicate aging.
24. Any gear that is good must've been pulled out of a much larger object and modified to fit in a rack by the actual person that designed it.
25. Trident is now crap.
26. The jury is still out on Toft, but we're pretty sure it is crap since it is often mentioned in the same breath as Joe Meek.
27. Did I mention that Genelec makes the WORST monitors in the world? Just absolute horse-sh*t.
28. Anything touched by Joly is better than any mic ever created, including a vintage U47.
29. Anything that starts with a G is a good piece of gear (Great River, Grace, Golden Age, Gefell, Grado) EXCEPT Genelec, of course.
30. There is no gear - NONE - worse than Mackie. Mackie is worse than late 80's Nady gear. The HR824's woofers are made of goat dung and the tweeters are made from the severed wings of demon locusts, and to dare use anything with a Mackie pre will summon brutish beasts from Netherworld who will feast on the souls of your family.
31. Bring your lunchbox everywhere, because no commercial studio has anything that competes with the 512c.
32. U87's are not compatible with anything made by Universal Audio (which is all crap anyway, just unusable)
33. The Shure SM7 is awesome... BUT IT BETTER BE AN A/B/(no letter).

All in good fun, people. I am new to the forums and can't imagine that so many talented (and apparently insanely wealthy and successful) people are on this forum, including industry leaders, designers, and engineers. It's a great forum.

Feel free to add lessons I missed.

Thanks for all the great info - it's been a roller coaster ride so far.

Are you really a newbie?

[bee]

Originally Posted by larry b

A few more to add for when this becomes a sticky:

1: If your digi002, 003 or other digi hardware hasnt had the BLA mod or some other mod, it is complete and utter crap. You might as well be recording with a Mackie.

2: Yes Genelecs suck. ADAM's are sweet but they are going to suck in a few months. It's really not worth even listening to music unless you have Barefoot monitors, but those suck too.

3: If you used an SM57 and a crap preamp and somehow wound up with awesome sound, it was an accident. If you used an SM57 with a Great River or other "G" lettered preamp, and it sounds awesome, it was your plan all along.

4: If you used an SM57 and a Great River or other "G" lettered preamp and your sound sucks it was the SM57 that screwed it up.

5:Correction about Apogee...Everything Apogee makes is amazing except for the AD8000. That one is utter crap because it's older now, and that's just how it is. Convertors stop sounding good after 10 years on the market.

6: If you don't clock your system with a Big Ben you might as well not be doing audio production because you are a complete idiot.

7: You are an absolute buffoon and imbecile if you connect your audio gear together with anything other than Mogami or Canare cable. In fact, you are better off using coat hangers and tape if you don't have one of these two cable brands for everything you do.

8: Monster cable is so low on the list it might as well be the B-Word.

9: Is your room treated? If not you have NO HOPE, repeat NO HOPE of ever, EVER recording anything useful or worthwhile at all.

10: If you want to use an analog tape machine and you are under the age of 25 and/or have only been into recording for a few years, do not bother, because you will never ever figure out how to properly align and run a tape machine.

So funny. I love this thread.thumbsup

[Quantumphysics]

GP rule #237 - Illegal to make a record with a Delta 1010
GP rule #732 - A Bryston is more important than acoustics

[musicbydesign]

Very interesting thread for sure. The guy has digested two
years worth of GS.

Note: I didn't quote the whole origional post because it's so huge
and you all have already read it. Knowhatta mean?

[T-rex]

It's like hes been reading GS for years!

[DarkSky Media]

Originally Posted by musicbydesign

...The guy has digested two years worth of GS...

He managed to succinctly (it's a relative term) summarize about seven years of posts, so that's pretty good going if he only "digested" less than a third of that!!

[elmolemon]

LOL !!! Great Thread!


But you forgot these:


1. dfegad WAVES

2. dfegad WUP

3. dfegad iLok

4. No really, your ugly ass DIY-bass-traps look great!

5. If you're on a mac you can't buy another firewire-interface than a Metric Halo! NO YOU CAN'T!

6. You need a U47 clone. You need one! Which one? Don't know... all these mics under 4k suck! They suck 4 real!

7. You need a Neve-clone, but DO NOT buy one of the new Neve preamps. They SUCK!

7a. And don't buy a RND.. They suck too...

7b. Buy an Aurora GTQ2 or an Avedis MA5, right?

8. R'n'B vocals? You need a Sony C800G! You neeeeeed one! It's the Dr. Dre Microphone...

8a. The Peluso VTB is the poor men's C800G.

9. Peluso Mics are amazing! Simply Amazing!

10. Peluso Mics suck! Badly!

10a. The 2247 sucks! The 2247 LE is AMAZING!

11. Beesneez Mics? Don't even get me started..

12. Forget about all the others! You need a Pearlman!

13. And an SM7... It's the THRILLER MIC!

14. And at least ten SM57, but OMFG you gotta check the MOD out! Cooking my 57 makes it even better than the Pearlman!

15. Which is the BEST xxxx ever??

16. THERE IS NO HIPHOP MIC ! ! !

17. You're right, the NS-10s suck! All the myth is BS!

18. The NS-10s are amazing! But you'll need a 4k amp and really white cones. The yellow ones suck!

18. My wife/GF doesn't allow me xxx....

19. You can't mix without tape. You're gonna miss that "WARM SOUND"!

20. You can mix ITB!

21. But you can't mix ITB with native plugins!

22. You'll need a UAD-4-Quad-Octa-Mega-DSP, because dfegad WAVES...

23. Yeah.. dfegad Waves

24. +1

25. +100





I love this place! Gearslutz for live!

[Mark Kaufman]

If you compare two products, then your testing method is ludicrous. tutt

[Mark Kaufman]

Mixing in headphones is a bad idea, and the ATH-M50s are awesome for this.

[RbShffr]

To the OP, please use the search function before posting. This has been discussed before.

[Studiodawg]

mrnemo-
This is the best post "in its class".
Studiodawg

[noiseflaw]

Great thread.

[Boschen]

Originally Posted by mobius.media

I for one would love to hear a modern pro recording tracked, mixed, and mastered with only budget gear and plugins in an untreated basement.

Sadly, no one has been able to produce one I am aware of, except perhaps in genres where all music is virtual in origin.

I wonder why that is.

You've answered your own question in your post.
This will never happen because, by definition, a "modern, pro recording" will never be "tracked, mixed, and mastered with only budget gear and plugins in an untreated basement."

PS to the OP: Hilarious! Welcome to the lion's den.

[mics]

Originally Posted by elmolemon

LOL !!! Great Thread!


But you forgot these:


1. dfegad WAVES

2. dfegad WUP

3. dfegad iLok

4. No really, your ugly ass DIY-bass-traps look great!

5. If you're on a mac you can't buy another firewire-interface than a Metric Halo! NO YOU CAN'T!

6. You need a U47 clone. You need one! Which one? Don't know... all these mics under 4k suck! They suck 4 real!

7. You need a Neve-clone, but DO NOT buy one of the new Neve preamps. They SUCK!

7a. And don't buy a RND.. They suck too...

7b. Buy an Aurora GTQ2 or an Avedis MA5, right?

8. R'n'B vocals? You need a Sony C800G! You neeeeeed one! It's the Dr. Dre Microphone...

8a. The Peluso VTB is the poor men's C800G.

9. Peluso Mics are amazing! Simply Amazing!

10. Peluso Mics suck! Badly!

10a. The 2247 sucks! The 2247 LE is AMAZING!

11. Beesneez Mics? Don't even get me started..

12. Forget about all the others! You need a Pearlman!

13. And an SM7... It's the THRILLER MIC!

14. And at least ten SM57, but OMFG you gotta check the MOD out! Cooking my 57 makes it even better than the Pearlman!

15. Which is the BEST xxxx ever??

16. THERE IS NO HIPHOP MIC ! ! !

17. You're right, the NS-10s suck! All the myth is BS!

18. The NS-10s are amazing! But you'll need a 4k amp and really white cones. The yellow ones suck!

18. My wife/GF doesn't allow me xxx....

19. You can't mix without tape. You're gonna miss that "WARM SOUND"!

20. You can mix ITB!

21. But you can't mix ITB with native plugins!

22. You'll need a UAD-4-Quad-Octa-Mega-DSP, because dfegad WAVES...

23. Yeah.. dfegad Waves

24. +1

25. +100





I love this place! Gearslutz for live!

Yeah those BeesNeez mic man the logo is too big.......

Cool thread, good for a laugh

[Subversounds]

Great post! :-D

I would add some stuff i've heard here in Rio...

# - If the gear you have is not on the gearlist of the following studios, they suck really bad: Sterling Sound, Ocean Way, Abbey Road, Turtle Recording, Blackbird, Nomad Studios, The Village, Sound City... You got the picture.

# - Firewire interfaces are crap. You must have pci or usb!

# - ProTools is the only DAW you can use to get pro sound.

# - MOTU interfaces are the worst piece of crap ever.

# - the sound of a SSL desk is crap.

# - Why aren't you on a Mac? [2]

[shawnzhangmusic]

I've been using a pairs Mackie HR824 for quite a few years.

Proudly! Yes!

[Bubbakron]

OP is sooo funny!!!!

[JES]

Originally Posted by Mark Kaufman

Mixing in headphones is a bad idea, and the ATH-M50s are awesome for this.

That's the thing about parody. I think I saw that in ad copy once. . . .

[cavern]

all new american made fender guitars suck, except the three that i have.

no tube pre under $300 can sound any good unless you switch the tubes,
doesn't matter wich ones you switch to as long as they're not the ones that were in there when you bought it.


$50 cables sound better than $25 cables.
everybody knows that.

[Gharper23]

bump

[fhames]

+1 great post. Anything beginning with G accept Genelec. Lov this. Clever.








Bryant - Hames Music

[Teddy Ray]

"real pros dont reach for xxx when their careers are on the line"

"this is amazing!! lts like a blanket came off my speakers! my mixes are at a whole new level"!!!

a month later

"For Sale, 1 SLURP MOD retroencabulator'

take your mixes to a new level! Only used half of once

bump price lowered

bump price lowered

bump fuuck

the following week

"man, this thing is amazing" its like my mixes are at a new level" Its like the tape came out of my speakers "

a week later

"FS one HARUSPEX anagram MOD GRID SQUARE BOX"

Take your mixes to the planet KODAR where you will see the blankets from all the gearslutz speakers and you will be in tape tube bliss:

used Θθ of on the left tuesday but it was raining

bump

bump

bump



fuuck

bump

fuuck

[AstralPStudios]

30. There is no gear - NONE - worse than Mackie. Mackie is worse than late 80's Nady gear. The HR824's woofers are made of goat dung and the tweeters are made from the severed wings of demon locusts, and to dare use anything with a Mackie pre will summon brutish beasts from Netherworld who will feast on the souls of your family.

EPIC LULZ.

[OVERNIGHT]

The only rule missing is that eventually a big group of slutz will suddenly and collectively 'come around' to a piece of gear they've been dogging on for last 3 years. It's happened to Peavey, JBL, Yamaha other.

It's inverse is also true, some piece of gear getting nothing but glowing reviews will suddenly and without warning fall out of favor with a big group of migrating slutz. It's already happened to Adam, Sounddelux, and countless others.

Slut migration is a common and fickle.

[L-Rey]

haha, i thoroughly enjoyed this post. spot on!