stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[youngmain]

Had a rapper come in last week with mp3 stereo files. He told me if I could track out the beat from his CD. "You know, can you like put each sound on different tracks from the cd?" tutt

[joeq]

Originally Posted by youngmain

Had a rapper come in last week with mp3 stereo files. He told me if I could track out the beat from his CD. "You know, can you like put each sound on different tracks from the cd?" tutt

hey, at least he understood the VALUE of having the beat tracked out!

more than I can say for a lot of rappers who walk in with all the music in one stereo file, think there's nothing wrong with that, and then are disappointed in your "mix"

I tell them next time get your guy to give you the tracks and they look at me like I am from Mars.

[iangomes]

facepalm

[joeq]

Originally Posted by iangomes

facepalm

...

[larry b]

Originally Posted by beaconofspeed

My other favorite: "Are those the Pro Tools?" [points to HD rig]

Amazing.

[abtech]

In the middle of the 30th vocal take:

"Nobody can hit a high G, nobody . . ."

[strewnshank]

Originally Posted by youngmain

Had a rapper come in last week with mp3 stereo files. He told me if I could track out the beat from his CD. "You know, can you like put each sound on different tracks from the cd?" tutt

At least they were in stereo, you lucky bastard!

[youngmain]

Originally Posted by joeq

more than I can say for a lot of rappers who walk in with all the music in one stereo file, think there's nothing wrong with that, and then are disappointed in your "mix"

I tell them next time get your guy to give you the tracks and they look at me like I am from Mars.

And I thought I was the only one whos been looked at like an alien.

[youngmain]

Originally Posted by strewnshank

At least they were in stereo, you lucky bastard!

I weathered the mono recession.

[los marbles]

Not the stupidest thing, but it makes me cringe whenever I hear it:

"Don't worry about mistakes, he's got protools."

While I certainly don't mind fixing the odd mistake, when players get into this "he-can-fix-it-later" mode, they lose focus pretty quickly.

Sometimes they just start wanking terribly and say, you can edit all this, right?

We usually have the talk at that point.

[youngmain]

Originally Posted by los marbles

We usually have the talk at that point.

The all infamous and very famous talk. LMAO. Its a very fatherly moment in the studio where the kid just has to learn for his own sake.

[Taddonley]

Originally Posted by beaconofspeed

"Yeah, I'm also an engineer and producer myself. I use PRO TUNES all the time..."

Pro Tunes? Seriously?

My other favorite: "Are those the Pro Tools?" [points to HD rig]

on't get me wrong. It's not bad. It's clean, no noise - costs me 20,000 used on ebay to get the right stuff hd2, mac, controller

[larry b]

Originally Posted by Taddonley

on't get me wrong. It's not bad. It's clean, no noise - costs me 20,000 used on ebay to get the right stuff hd2, mac, controller

20k will get you a very serious setup BRAND NEW. You don't have to spend 20k on ebay to get a nice PT system.

In fact, i have an older Mix++ TDM system that could probably be pieced together used on ebay for a grand total of $3000 including several 888/24 interfaces, several Mix Core/Farm cards, a nice older mac that still kicks ass, two monitors, a Mackie HUI or other basic controller, and even a Lucid or older Apogee convertor for two prime input channels.

Even a used HD rig could be had for 5-8k, no big deal.

It's getting old hearing how you need to have feeeeefty thoussssannnnnnd dollllllarrrrrs to have a decent PT system.

Simply not true.

/end rant

[AnthonySpinali]

The click keeps speeding up!

No that's just you....

[nikmti]

I've had limited experience in the field, but for me it would definitely have to be while tracking the guitarist from my old band:

Me: "Your timing was off on that last section. We need to re-track it."

Guitarist: "No, its fine. Only 7% of the world actually makes music, so no one will know but us."

[Mike Aimer]

I second for a guy with some serious gear. I wasn't on this particular gig, but he related the story to me so I will throw it on the pile.

Kid peeking head in control room and pointing at Pultec: "What's that?"

Engineer: "That's a Pultec."

Kid: "NO! A Pultec is a plugin on ProTools!"

[Smithcok]

I stole this from someone (heard it at a dinner with a bunch of us telling stories), and I can't remember who told it to me, but its funny.

::Engineer brings his new intern into the studio::
Intern, looking at the gear rack: "What's with the plug-in island??"

[KRStudio]

Guitarist flubs through a section of music. He says "that take sucked, just put some delay on it and it will sound better".

me "yes that sucked, hearing it twice makes it better how"?


I asked a client what kind of kick sound he was looking for.
" want it to sound like clouds moving past mountain tops" Thanks God he is a good friend because I laughed my ass off at least ten minutes right in front of him. Now it's kind of a running joke around here.

Jeff

[musicmatt]

At a studio in detroit.. undisclosed rich famous motown no-talent son/wannabe rapper

aw yeah, lets double dat vocal.

NO, wait triple that vocal!

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by KRStudio

Guitarist flubs through a section of music. He says "that take sucked, just put some delay on it and it will sound better".

me "yes that sucked, hearing it twice makes it better how"?


I asked a client what kind of kick sound he was looking for.
" want it to sound like clouds moving past mountain tops" Thanks God he is a good friend because I laughed my ass off at least ten minutes right in front of him. Now it's kind of a running joke around here.

Jeff

There are people who visualize sound. I'm sure it made sense to him, but it sure doesn't make our job any easier.
I had a guy who heard colors. More silver on the cymbals is pretty clear. Make the guitars a bit less red, well I guess I can sort of figure that out. But would someone tell me how the hell you make a piano greener?

[Jordan Jerkwad]

not from an artist but in class i asked a classmate to set up a vocal mic and he set it up backwards

me and my professor laughed our ass off about it after class...

[Lynn Fuston]

Originally Posted by PRobb

But would someone tell me how the hell you make a piano greener?

Composted manure and lots of fertilizer works for me.

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by Lynn Fuston

Composted manure and lots of fertilizer works for me.

Hmmmmm- interesting. But wouldn't that make for a pretty shitty mix?

[Jim Williams]

Just for fun, ask these Mensa members after that say such things if they went to private or government schools.

That will either provide a laugh or scare the crap out of you, 'cause that's the future. The future you and me will pay for when these idiots go on public assistance.

Jim Williams
Audio Upgrades

[Kris]

Problem is the parents, not private or public schools.

[Neon Heart]

Originally Posted by PRobb

There are people who visualize sound. I'm sure it made sense to him, but it sure doesn't make our job any easier.
I had a guy who heard colors. More silver on the cymbals is pretty clear. Make the guitars a bit less red, well I guess I can sort of figure that out. But would someone tell me how the hell you make a piano greener?

"hearing" colours is pretty common, but usually these are bound to tonalities.
C-Major is blue, A-minor red, C sharp-minor green, E-Major orange etc. (at least to me... )

[Jim Williams]

Does that include the parents that work 2 jobs, have low income and still want their kids to get a decent education instead of the propaganda and gang culture their kids are likely to be exposed to?

Just what is their solution?

I know, it's not the fault of the teachers in the public schools that knock off at 2 pm and take the entire summer off. Yes, that's not entirely fair as some are putting in extra time to seduce the students after school.

Allowing a parent to place their kids in a functional school might be a start. Tax credits to allow for school choice is the solution, teacher's unions are the problem. They institutionalize disfuntional school systems. We spend more money for less results in the history of the country. Give the parents control and choice and you will see competition begin to raise standards. The alternative is not working out so well.

Apparently Barry Soetoro has so much faith in throwing more money at bad schools he's decided to put HIS kids in an exclusive private school, the rest of you "can eat cake".

Jim Williams
Audio Upgrades

[Kris]

A good Parent would do whatever it takes to move out of that shitty environment and into a better one. Even if they had the 'choice' to send their kids to a 'better' school, the kid still has to come home and soak up the 'propaganda and gang culture' of their neighborhood.

I'm not arguing that having 'school choice' is a bad thing... just that it's not the root issue.

[PRobb]

Hey guys- take it to the basement. There's a separate forum for that stuff.
However, "I know, it's not the fault of the teachers in the public schools that knock off at 2 pm"- I'm assuming you don't know any teachers.

[Infernal Device]

Guy to his band members...

"We need to spend a lot of time on pre-production. That is where you record the drums over and over until they are right."

Me, "....what do you consider the production of the record?"

Him, "That is when you fix all the mistakes on the computer."

Me, "...........?............"