stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[the-oger]

Originally Posted by DCtoDaylight

Years ago, I heard Denny Doherty (RIP) of the Mamas and Papas being interviewed, and he mentioned this effect - they called it "Harvey," and they wouldn't actually start recording a session until they had achieved it. "It was like, OK, we can start now, Harvey's here," he said.

And count me as someone who's glad to know that other people have experienced the "phantom part" phenomenon while putting a song together....it freaked me out, too, the first couple of times it happened; now it's what I strive for!

No Way! At my place we call those phantom sounds "Harveys" too... after the big bunny in that old Jimmy Stewart movie.

I usually notice Harveys originating mainly from cymbal overtones and/or acoustic guitar tracks. Cell phone ringing sounds usually, or high freq keyboard parts that are not there. And sometimes the acoustic will have a fret squeak or body thump or pick downstroke in such a way that it sounds like some abrupt noise BEHIND me.... I'm usually alone late at night and I remember on song in particular where it sounded like somebody dropping something heavy behind me... scared the shit out of me EVERYTIME, even though I was expecting it. And it was on tape, too, so I couldn't simply edit it out.

[drumzealot]

I was hired for a session with an HUGE (and I don’t mean famous) R&B/Gospel singer (who had horrible intonation BTW) who asked, “Can you guys be my road band? Berry Gordy is going to come out of retirement just so he can manager my singing career.”

We all looked at each other with a mixture of hilarity and sympathy (she actually believed this was going to happen). But managed to maintain a professional demeanor.

That was in 2002 and I have yet to hear from either her OR Berry Gordy.

[GearHunter]

Originally Posted by the-oger

No Way! At my place we call those phantom sounds "Harveys" too... after the big bunny in that old Jimmy Stewart movie.

I usually notice Harveys originating mainly from cymbal overtones and/or acoustic guitar tracks. Cell phone ringing sounds usually, or high freq keyboard parts that are not there. And sometimes the acoustic will have a fret squeak or body thump or pick downstroke in such a way that it sounds like some abrupt noise BEHIND me.... I'm usually alone late at night and I remember on song in particular where it sounded like somebody dropping something heavy behind me... scared the shit out of me EVERYTIME, even though I was expecting it. And it was on tape, too, so I couldn't simply edit it out.

I used to produce this band where the two lead singers were twins. When they got in to perfect harmony and intonation, they sounded like TRIPLETS!

[pan]

Originally Posted by the-oger

No Way! At my place we call those phantom sounds "Harveys" too... And it was on tape, too, so I couldn't simply edit it out.

Nooo, leave those Harveys alone! They are sent from a higher entity

[thisisntglen]

I was once asked at a session if, at the behest of the vocalist, he could record his vocals in the same room as the drums. I asked him if he simply wanted scratch tracks, but he told me that no, he liked that vibe for their records, and that anything bad could be fixed in Pro Tools later...he refused to overdub due to money (and pride)...

[many.mix]

By far the dumbest thing I have ever heard in a studio happened during my 1st session ever. I was in school and doing a session for free. The band was total metal, the guitar player came in with 2 Marshall Full Stacks and a Guitar splitter. We put the stacks in an ISO booth and he wanted to be in there with them while tracking so for the feedback.

We rolled tape and after 1 take the guitar player while standing in front of 4 4x12 cabs says "I can't hear myself in the headphones!"

That same session the drummer forgot to bring his snare stand. Trying to think of a work around he asked if we had a trash can he could put the snare on. We found a stand for him.

[Sqye]

Originally Posted by PRobb

"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there"
"Steve Reich"

that's really great.

and of course, worth repeating......


worth repeating......


worth repeating......


worth repeating......

..

[carllock]

Had a recently signed rap group in my studio with their famous manager. Manager tells them that all the monies from the deal will be held in an escrow account. He leaves room then rappers are talking about finding this "Mr Escrow" dude and beating him up to get their money back!

["DB"]

I don't know when I've laughed as hard as reading this thread - thanks!
Here's a few I saw and heard, not necessarily stupid but I found them funny:

"I don't think that guy could produce a blister on his ass if he sat on a hot stove", said by a bandmember as the famous, but clueless producer walked out of the control room yet again to explain to the drummer how to play.

Standing in the Production Remote Truck at Live Aid during the prime-time broadcast part; "Thunk" best describes the sound of the ABC Network Standards and Practices (i.e. Censor) guy hitting his head on the desk in front of him just after Mick had tore off Tina's skirt.

Record Plant NY Studio "A", late 70's, big time producer whose name I won't mention cause he posts on here too, seated at the producer's chair. The old style soda-water fire extinguisher next to the engineer's seat had a long piece of tubing attached to the end of its hose carefully run under the console and aimed at the producer's chair. The engineer pulls the handle and sprays the producer in the crotch. After he dries off and a dry chair is put in place they tell him he can go out and get someone else to play the joke on. This is where a good practical joke turned into a brilliant one. While he was out finding a new victim the hose was moved (I won't say by whom exactly, but the two younger brothers of the guy who invented the harmonizer were involved) so that it was aimed at the engineer's chair. Which the producer sat down in, and proceeded to spray himself.

Billy Joel gig in Washington, DC, with the Record Plant White truck. As Peter Hefter and I were driving the truck down from NYC we were talking about how Kooster would be worried about all the RFI we often had trouble with in DC. So we bought a little transistor AM radio, turned it on very low, tuned just slightly off station, and put it inside the frame of the Trident console. After Kooster tried for about 10 minutes to figure out where it was coming from he had me go under the console to turn off the power supplies to see if that would make it stop. He figured out what was going on when he noticed the only part of me he could see was my feet sticking out from under the console and they were shaking because I was laughing so hard.

How many Digidesign software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
"Can't be done, that's a hardware problem."

[mrufino1]

Originally Posted by Lynn Fuston

Well, I've been hearing phantom ring tones (like an electronic phone) in popular music for years. Even stuff that I'm mixing. Am I the only one?

How much longer should I wait before I speak out?

I have been hearing that too! I keep shutting my mp3 payer off while driving thinking my cell is ringing- guess I'm not the only one going insane!

And now after reading further in the thread, I understand where it is coming from.

[Whitehouse]

Holy shite I thought I was one of the only ones too!!!! One that really stands out here in the studio is John Fogerty live. Have no idea what record it is but the track called "Swamp River Days" has a ringing in it! I've asked other people if they could hear it and they look at me like I'm effing posessed! Thanks for bringing me closure! I thought I was in need of a mental checkup! Sorry to detract from the original topic.

M

[Devina]

funny thing about them high hats

[Lynn Fuston]

Originally Posted by Whitehouse

Holy shite I thought I was one of the only ones too!!!! One that really stands out here in the studio is John Fogerty live. Have no idea what record it is but the track called "Swamp River Days" has a ringing in it! I've asked other people if they could hear it and they look at me like I'm effing posessed! Thanks for bringing me closure! I thought I was in need of a mental checkup! Sorry to detract from the original topic.

Don't be prematurely consoled.

Just because others "hear the voices" too does NOT mean that you are NOT possessed.

[Berolzheimer]

Just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean that they aren't, in fact, out to get you.

[D-TRAIN]

Are you sure all this equitment works, can i get the first session free to make sure this is the sound im looking for!

[Mark Warren]

Originally Posted by D-TRAIN

Are you sure all this equitment works, can i get the first session free to make sure this is the sound im looking for!

That's a good one, I've heard that a few times already. Try that at the bar: "Can I get the first beer for free to make sure I'll really like it? Thanks."

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by D-TRAIN

Are you sure all this equitment works, can i get the first session free to make sure this is the sound im looking for!

The answer to part one goes in the "biggest lie you've ever told a client" thread. The answer to part two is no.

[Gebo]

I had a kid in for a session a few weeks ago that blew my mind. While he was setting up his kit, we were talking. He explained that he really wanted that "Huge, Dave Grohl sound".

His drum kit consisted of mixed CB and Walmart drums. No res. head on the kick, and Duct tape on EVERY DRUM HEAD (to kill the ring, duh).

[gibsonlp75]

I had a client tell her drummer/percussionist that she wanted the perc to sound like a cattle drive?????


She was happy, so i guess we, indeed, made it sound like a cattle drive...

[centurymantra]

Originally Posted by fetishfrog

Funny stuff...

"Nah man, that's my style. I want it to sound all mushy, like a big ol' bunch of junk all bangin' together. Can you do that? Can you make me sound like a big ol' bunch of f***** junk all bangin' together an' s***?"

Ummm, sure....

Dude, I was almost on the floor, red-faced and LMAO over that. Seriously. I had to wipe the tears away to type this.

Awesome!

[centurymantra]

Originally Posted by many.mix

That same session the drummer forgot to bring his snare stand. Trying to think of a work around he asked if we had a trash can he could put the snare on. We found a stand for him.

I had a guy who actually played his snare drum on a trash can. He made a point of this being part of his sound as we miced it up.

[cornutt]

Originally Posted by gibsonlp75

I had a client tell her drummer/percussionist that she wanted the perc to sound like a cattle drive?????


She was happy, so i guess we, indeed, made it sound like a cattle drive...

I assume you gave it more cowbell...

[TheReal7]

Originally Posted by cornutt

I assume you gave it more cowbell...

[dualtone]

A producer asked me;
"On that next section, could you continue to not play?"

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by dualtone

A producer asked me;
"On that next section, could you continue to not play?"

Horn date. We are working on a section and the trombone player is reading a newspaper.

Asshole Producer, face getting red: Why aren't you playing?

Trombonist, sheepishly: I have a tacit.

A.P., face getting redder: WELL, PLAY IT!!!!!!!!

[ryst]

Not sure if this one has been mentioned anywhere in the previouse 52 pages...

I'm automating some tracks. And the singer is watching the screen as I am drawing the automation.

Then he asks after hearing the results:






Wait for it........





















Wait for it........
































"Can you raise the vocals a few more centimeters?"



I'll let that sink in....








"CAN YOU RAISE THE VOCAL A FEW MORE CENTIMETERS?"





I realized after that question that I never want to mix ITB again.

[RichT]

Yeah man! Keep it old skool!

I mix in inches...

[loujudson]

Old school: Can you take the b flat in bar 18 and turn it up a bit, then duck it under the viola part?

Nuskool: Hey man take this blob here and make it bigger, then squish it and make it longer under this other wavy squiggle.

[luctellier]

Last weekend I recorded a band that was in a studio for the first time, we were listening to the drums track with the bass and the drums were defintely not on the click (sloppy drums) and the drummer ask me: "This part sounds weird, it's not following the tempo correctly, can you EQ or Compress it to make it ok?"

[dontfearthringo]

Originally Posted by maskedman72

this happens all the time. one time i was recording a band and one of their friends came along and after a while he vanished into the studios kitchen for a while only to emerge into the control room totally naked and he wrapped himself in a roll of reynolds wrap!!!
the band and myself started laughing and then he thought we would laugh harder if he were to run outside in the middle of the day for a second, well the studio is on a busy street and as soon as he went out the door he turned around to come right back in only to see me slam the studio door shut in his face and i locked it.

Did you say "I can clearly see your nuts..."?