stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[christopherw]

Originally Posted by Zeppelin4Life

here are few fights from my band..classics.


back in 2002...some nice fights from this one session w/ this jackass for a singer
http://www.mydocsonline.com/pub/Plat...%203-29-03.mp3
http://www.mydocsonline.com/pub/Plat...ght3-22-03.mp3



http://www.mydocsonline.com/pub/Plat...argefightr.mp3

the ultimate...2001. I was in 7th or 8th grade...good times.

Oh

My

LIFE!


This thread has possibly been one of the most hilarious things I've ever read, and I guess that's a good thing, it being my inaugural read of this place I'm studying Music Tech at Uni (UCE in Birmingham for the curious-minded), with an aim to getting involved in the industry after, so this place'll be an excellent primer. :D


I think this post has to be one of the funniest solely on the grounds that you can actually experience the hilarity for yourself thanks to the glory that is mp3 :D :D :D Top marks for stick those clips up. I've only ever produced in an educational enviroment (coursework), and I've experienced the same thing already

[papawhitehead]

I have a great Mentor/Friend named Charles Reeves. He used to work at a studio in town called Ben Blank Studios. He once told me that the Butthole Surfers were in there tracking something for "The Crow" soundtrack. Someone, "I'm assuming it was Gibby" kept telling Charles to turn up the headphone mix. After blowing two pairs of headhpones, Charles noticed that when Gibby was putting on the next pair, that he was wearing EARPLUGS!!!!

[Merlin]

Many years ago I was in a band in Sydney, Australia. A new girl singer joined and for the first few weeks she was good. Not the strongest voice, but pretty much on pitch and looked good and worked the crowd well. But after the first few weeks she started showing up stoned, and/or late etc. It was decided she had to go...

We were rehearsing the the bass player's studio which he had set up in a converted garage downstairs at his house. The girl shows up [late of course] for practice and is told the news and doesn't take it well. "You can't get rid of me just like that" and so on. A full on argument ensues, during which she says that she should get more money than the rest of the guys because "she's the one people come to see". Then she drops the ultimatum: "either you pay me more or I tell your wife you f*cked me last week at [club name]..."

But the wife could hear the whole thing upstairs on the intercom!
20 seconds later the door bursts open and the bass player's wife is there with a .22 and shoots him right there in the middle of the room.


Let me tell you it's nothing like on TV when someone gets shot...

[TheReal7]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Many years ago I was in a band in Sydney, Australia. A new girl singer joined and for the first few weeks she was good. Not the strongest voice, but pretty much on pitch and looked good and worked the crowd well. But after the first few weeks she started showing up stoned, and/or late etc. It was decided she had to go...

We were rehearsing the the bass player's studio which he had set up in a converted garage downstairs at his house. The girl shows up [late of course] for practice and is told the news and doesn't take it well. "You can't get rid of me just like that" and so on. A full on argument ensues, during which she says that she should get more money than the rest of the guys because "she's the one people come to see". Then she drops the ultimatum: "either you pay me more or I tell your wife you f*cked me last week at [club name]..."

But the wife could hear the whole thing upstairs on the intercom!
20 seconds later the door bursts open and the bass player's wife is there with a .22 and shoots him right there in the middle of the room.


Let me tell you it's nothing like on TV when someone gets shot...

Holy shit! I was hope she was going to shoot the singer. LOL

[bloke]

How many of you guys have had phone calls from some inarticulate caveman askin "how much is some beatz??? (beetz)". When I say excuse me?, the reply is always "y'nooo, I wan sum beetz ta rap over,, how much r'they???" I have been forced to reply "about $1.25/kilo, youve rung a recording studio NOT a grocery store!!", (click).

[StuartMac]

Yeehah!! At last I've got one!! Just fresh from this morning, too!

I've been asked to produce a few tracks for a local band - this is the first time in three years I'll be producing and NOT doing the engineering.

Anyway, I showed up early this morning as agreed to check out the kit and the room. I walked in and the "enthusiastic" engineers already had the kit mic'd up - no problems, I'll just have a wee look.

After moving the snare mic, which was about 1" off the skin, I noticed the 421s they had on each of the toms were pointing straight at the drummer, as if they were a side-adress design! The following classic exchange then took place:

ME : "Guys, those are end-address mics!"

"ENGINEER" 1 (with a genuine look of superiority and disdain) : "No they're not, they're Sennheisers"

I had to leave as I could not stop laughing. I've nipped home to share this one with you, whilst I'm sure they'll be scouring the internet for the website of that new manufacturer of quality mics, Endadress.

This could be fun!!

[Sukks2bu]

A friend of mine I have recorded for in the past, calls me up and tells me that he is recording vocals at home on cubase in his basement.

He says the "vocals don't sound very good"

I suggest that he go out and rent himself an Neumann Mic & high end Pre-Amp.

He goes and gets the Mic and an Avalon Pre-amp/compressor/EQ as I had suggested.

I then get a call from him about a week later after he had gone home and tried recording their vocal tracks to about 6 songs....he says "it still sounds like S&*t"

At this point I am thinking that maybe it is his A-D converter but he insists that he is not having that problem...it must be something else.

I suggest to not touch any of the extra features of the Avalon and to just keep it simple by only using the Gain knob to keep it simple.

You, the reader, should know by now, that these guys are "pros" (done records with Big-name producers, Sony was knocking on the door, member once signed with Elektra...all fantastic players....not kids by any means).

To make a long story short...I had to pay them a visit to see first hand what they were doing wrong...or what the actual problem might be...after spending 2 hours on the phone trying to troubleshoot already!

Upon inspection of their gear and set-up...everything seemed fine until I decided to poke my head behind the curtain of their home-made vocal booth which brought me to the conclusion that I had to now try to explain to them.

I asked them if they were poking their head thru the curtain to track vocals instead of standing inside the curtained area....they said..."NO, we are standing inside"

I said "Dude....you guys are singing into the wrong side of the mic!"

As you can imagine...the looks of sheer and utter D'oh!!!! were all about the room.

This..I kid you not....Shredder...if you are out there...please stand up and take a bow for your award-winning performance!

PS...as we know,...many musicians partake in extra recreational activities for creative guidance purposes (WEED!!!)...these guys are straight and have NO EXCUSES!...lolololololol

[Yannick]

In all fairness, one of the better moments in our careers was the 30 minutes spent why 8 synth/electronics tracks didn't come in our DAW, this during a classical contemporay+live electronics mobile session.

Two SE (ourselves) experienced with their own material + one experienced live electronics/live engineer could not track down the problem.

Of course, the 8 ch AD bringing in these tracks WAS switched on, but had NO power chord.

I dare anyone laughing too loudly at this one to think and not remember something similar ...

[GearHunter]

"Dude....you guys are singing into the wrong side of the mic!"

That happens a lot, side-address, front-address...I've had many a newbie assistant set up a U87 like it's front address and a Senn 421 like it's side-address.


But here's a good one:

When the whole ADAT thing started, bands that had paid me decent money to produce them before decided this time to spend the money on a Mackie and an ADAT and a few SM57s and do the record at home themselves, (instead of the beautiful 2" Studer, API console, 1/2" Ampex, Neve 1073 rack, LA-2a, 1176, Lexicon 224, U87 and C12 equipped, totally acoustically designed and professionally wired $800K room we usually worked in).

Inevitably, they would end up calling me crying, "Help! Our tracks sound like shit! How much will you charge to come to our house and mix the record?"
This happened probably half-a-dozen times.

This one time, I went to the band's funky house where they all lived together--and don't get me wrong they were a good band and good guys--and went in to the "control-room" which was an old dining room. They had some like, Allen and Heath board or something, and I think the format was 1/2" 16-TRACK. The thing that really sucked was when I saw that the "monitors" were like, home stereo speakers.

Anyhoo, I said, "Ok let's take a listen to what these tracks sound like." So I sat at the board and hit play on the multitrack. Within a nano-second, I noticed that the two speakers were way out of phase with each other. No low end, big hollow hole in the middle, swirly wide stereo. I said, "woa!" and looked around the back. Sure enough, the red was where the black was supposed to be on one of the speakers.

I asked, "How long have these been like this?"

Sheepishly, they replied, "well, um, ever since we set the place up..."

In other words, they had tracked the whole record with the speakers all screwed up and out of phase.

Wow...further proof that the recording engineer's diploma does not come in the box with the 001! tutt

[deft_bonz]

Originally Posted by Yannick

Of course, the 8 ch AD bringing in these tracks WAS switched on, but had NO power chord.

this one is nice

[Methlab]

This one is probably common to many. a clueless C level girl singer contacts me about doing some songs. well the catch is that she doesn't have any money at the time (shocker). But she assures that when she is famous she "will never forget me". wow, thanks.

[Fonk]

Hi all....first time poster, long time lurker....had to join in on this thread...

In the middle of tracking a female singer a few years ago...who actually wasn't too bad, although a little bit too blond...

Singer: "Hmmm. There's something wrong with the sound of my voice."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Singer: "Well, it doesn't sound like when I sing in the shower."

(stunned silence as I try not to burst into tears laughing)

Me, wiith a healthy dose of sarcasm: "Well would you prefer if I transported your mic and headphones to the bathroom?"

Singer, thinking I was serious: "Can we!?"

(more stunned silence as I dial in the most horrible and grating D-verb setting I can come up with in 5secs...)

Singer: "Wait! That's it! That's the sound! Keep that!"


It sounded so horrible, but it helped her sing, so whatever works I suppose.

I even asked her if she'd like some "running water" sound fx to accompany her (she was a friend so I was able to be a smartarse luckily...), but it seemed the crappy D-verb was enough.

But the line "it doesn't sound like when I sing in the shower" still cracks me up to this day.

Anyway, she learned all about reverb that day.....and for the next few weeks as we retold the story over and over amongst our mutual friends.

Us audio people can be so evil sometimes....

[Renegade]

This wasn't during a session or anything but applicable none the less.
I am a hip hop producer and I was talking to another hip hop "producer" and he asked how do I compose my beats and I told him with sound modules and MIDI...
Then he goes "you ever hear of midi mafia" Im like yeah (there a production team)
then he says "yeah they allready got your style mastered" lol sure pal.
I knew then that he knew nothing ...he went on to tell me that he uses Fruity loops for sounds and sequences in sound forge

[spirit]

As a teacher of another discipline I have experienced what the difference is when you instruct people for nada in contrast to when you cost them 50 bucks for 45 minutes. And when I was educated for that profession the assistents always used to remind us: "Never give lessons for free. People cannot appreciate the value and mobilize the adequate respect for the lesson that way."


I couldn't agree more Ruphus! For some reason people only appreciate what they recieve, and repect you for what you do, when you charge them more than they are comfortable with paying. I've had it with handouts. I'll use the extra downtime for fishing and save myself the frustration. dfegad

[genlock]

Great thread!!

When I was an intern in a local studio in the early 90s my job was to set up mics, make some coffee and prepare the mixing console/patch bay before everybody arrives. So one day we were about to to lay down the tracks for this promising talent/future "star"/singing BABE. The PRODUCE-HER (an 80s-George Michael looking guy with grey hair) arrived early and hung-out in the control room doing some "important" paper work and BABE (blond, tall, not too pretty) was having breakfast in the kitching. PRODUCE-HER left the room for coffee, while I was still around happily pulling some cable, filled with joy for having the expensive gear and the big console all for myself. But still after a few moments I had to reach out for the rest-room for obvious reasons. When I approached the door I heard a loud moaning coming out of one of the boxes, then PRODUCE-HERs voice, "C'mon! You still have to sing later on...." Later, when I told the engineer about this, he wasn't surprised at all, "Yeah, PRODUCE-HER, once I found him f***ing another one right on top of my SSL... Damned I hate him for that!" The session itself was not worth mentioning.

----

Same studio, another "talent", a male vocalist was about to spend big bucks on a serious recording session hiring costly session musicians and an arranger. He was trying to imitate the Luther Vandross/"You're my lady" kind of style and wasn't short on blaming everybody but himself for his poor performance. In fact he was the only weak performer on this recording. He constantly nerved everybody by repeatedly reminding us in the CR that "THIS must be a hit!" In fact, it needed to be a big hit for him because as it turned out he was filing for bankroptcy.

[TanTan]

A while ago i was recording a DVD for kids , it was a nightmare , i was recording annoying 8 years old kids chorals doing backing vocals , and totaly unprofessional singers which was the actors on that DVD (not so good actors as well...) , i didn't have an assistant on this session which even made it a worse nightmare , anyway , i was in the control room with the two producers of the DVD (great guys , they were completely stoned during the whole session , they had a hidden bang in my backyard and visited it every 5-10 minutes , it was a "red eyed" session , but at list they didn't have to explain the kids why they went out after every two takes) , we recorded one female singer with no experience at all doing recordings , she (awefully) started her take , 10 seconds after she took off one side of the headphones , i thought great ! she probably learnt this technique for controling her tune , and right after , she took the other side of the headphones off and kept on singing the whole take with no platback , off course she was out of time and out of pitch , and she couldn't understand why we were laughing like crazy , man , i was on the floor couldn't breath ! and the two spaced out producers couldn't help their selves either ! but one of the producers has started to date the "singer" after the session , so everything turned out fine at last .

[Ruphus]

Originally Posted by spirit

I couldn't agree more Ruphus! For some reason people only appreciate what they recieve, and repect you for what you do, when you charge them more than they are comfortable with paying. I've had it with handouts. I'll use the extra downtime for fishing and save myself the frustration. dfegad

Hi Spirit,

It´s so silly, innit? So many examples for something being trusted just because of lots of cash required for it. Possibly remember when bottled water came up in the times when tap water yet was immaculate? Billions were made for selling carbonic acid ... and even without.

On the other hand, when something is offered for little to nothing people just can´t think of anything else than crap or ripp off. They just can´t imagine anything fair and valuable behind it, cause being used to bleed for the slightest approach.

I had pinned up stubs in the music academies listing up gear ( of which I´ve been told similarily equipped studios to ask around 500 bucks daily for ), describing a bit about myself, saying that there would yet be lots I had to learn, but still being not too bad at it, and that I really cared for quality.
Said I´d offer to record 3 pieces for nada to folks who would play some rock, jazz, folk ( everything except techno & rap ) so that they could have some tracks for themselves and I would have something for a studio demo. Only requirement that they´d have their parts somewhat in order so that I wouldn´t have to drown in editing and that I must be liking their stuff at least a little bit.

You know what happened? Nothing.
Only months later a group called me up saying they´d be doing experimental stuff. Made me suspecting stupid noise crap and I was about to cancel, yet in the end agreed that they shall come by and we may look what happens.

Showed that their stuff to be much better than I had feared and that we cope pretty well. They got quite excited about what we can achieve and I threw in to capture a fourth song too. ( They are really poor students and as we are having fun ... )

Should perhaps some of their colleagues from the academies call up later on after having heard the mixes asking for taking part in the free project I´ll be saying uh-uh tutt . Too late amigos.
Just for the stupidity.

Besides, about teaching. Over the years I have been teaching two guys one after the other with free individual lessons. In the end I quit each for not being attentive enough to make regular notes and homework.
One of them after 18 months private lessons went to a school afterwards for class lessons and both returned more than one time soliciting to continue private lessons. I actually would had liked to continue, but stood firm. Thought there ought to be some sense to it.

Ruphus

[anna log]

Originally Posted by Ruphus

Hi Spirit,

It´s so silly, innit? So many examples for something being trusted just because of lots of cash required for it.
Ruphus

I can tell you that, when I took over my studio from its' original owner, he had been working for a dirt-cheap rate in our smaller centre, busting his ass, and told me, 'don't turn anything away, because you will need all the work you can get, to make it here.' Following his advice, I ended up with untold hours of annoying sessions involving poor, pushy musicians with bad songs, who were budgeted for about half a day, but expected to have a release like Dark Side of the Moon. Eventually, I wised up, and raised my rate to about 2.5 times the original one, and I began turning away everyone who didn't have a budget, or didn't have a professional level of skill. Guess what? Suddenly, there is more work than ever, the quality is better, the clients are easier to work with, and I have a great deal more input into the projects. Huge improvement, mostly due, I believe, to peoples' perception of the studio rate and accessibility. Go figure.....

[MrKnobs]

Here's one I overheard in my studio while the client was taking a break. The band was 4 spaced out dudes making a demo tape to try and get gigs. Apparently one of the guys had succeeded in getting a gig before the band was quite ready to play it, as revealed in this their actual conversation, as best I can remember it:

Drummer: Hey dudes! I got us a show a week from Sat. at the Lakeview Club.

Guitarist: Excellent! When is it?

Drummer: Like I said, Sat. a week, not this Sat., next Sat.

Guitarist: But that's like 10 days!

Drummer: Yeah, something like that.

Guitarist: How long do we have to play?

Drummer: The guy said three sets, starts at 8.

Guitarist: Three sets? Like one hour sets?

Drummer: I guess.

Guitarist: But we'd need like.....umm......I dunno, forty songs?

Drummer: Yeah, somethin' like that.

Guitarist: How in the f*ck are we gonna learn 40 songs in ten days?

Drummer: We can do it, dude! It's only ten songs apiece!

**** stunned silence from other three band members *****

I almost lost it right then and there! That was one of the dumbest, funniest things I've heard in the studio.

Terry D.

[cdog]

Originally Posted by kudzu

Alt country singer sends me board mixes of his album. He wants me to get a feel of it B4 he sends me the files to mix

I listen to the board mixes one afternoon and make my track notes corresponding to each song on a text edit document...save it...and forget about it

A week goes by and the singer turns up with the Data DVDs...As I load the data in, we listen to the board mixes and i open up my text edit doc to read my notes...the singer is reading them also......Track 12. "this is possibly the worst song I've ever heard"

OOOPs

classic

[Marineville]

From the other side of the fence, here's one from a musician's point of view.

Abut 2 months into the recording of an album we were all standing around a microphone doing a handclap track. It occurred to me that it would be a good idea to feed the bass player's cans through a delay so I suggested it to the producer who set it up. The end result was that we were all clapping on the 2 and 4 but the bass player was hearing the track slightly after us and couldn't understand why he was so out of time! This went on for about 10mins before he got so pissed off that I swapped cans with him, but of course the producer simply switched the delay from mine to his again!

Great fun.

[Marineville]

Another from a musician's perspective ...

A well known trumpet player told me a fantastic story on a recent orchestral session. Apparently the brass section had been set up for this particular recording on a small platform just behind the cellos. This meant that the bell of this guys trumpet was aimed straight at Mr Grumpy Cello's head. After a couple of run throughs Mr Grumpy Cello turned to the trumpet player and said he was going to mark the part in pencil on his score so that he could duck when the trumpet player hit this particularly loud bit. Of course during the lunch break the trumpet player waited for Mr Grumpy Cello to leave the studio and erased it, moving it a couple of bars further on!

Apparently there was nearly a fight ...

[Marineville]

Now I think of it, another from a musician's perspective!

I wrote a heavy percussive piece of music for a TV commercial, played, as you would expect, entirely on drums. The client comment back from the Agency was "We like it, apart from the drums ..."

I did get the job and it won several awards.

[Marineville]

I had written a piece of music for a TV commercial and was in the Creative Director's office presenting it. I had laid it back to U-Matic along with the film, and after watching it the conversation went something like this:

Creative: I can't feel the bass.
Me: Well we are listening through a TV speaker (a small Sony 14" TV).
Creative: I want it to sound like this! (Gets a Prince CD and plays a track on his stereo).
Me: Yes, but that's through a Hi-Fi, of course you can feel the bass!
Creative: I want to feel the bass on the TV.

At this point I was becoming a little confused but luckily I had dubbed the track to CD as well so popped it into his CD player.

Creative: That's better! What did you do?
Me: It's exactly the same mix but payed on a Hi-Fi.
Creative: Why can't it sound like that on this TV?
Me: Because the speaker is too small.
Creative: Can't you turn the bass up in the mix?
Me: That would make the speaker distort - and what about those people with bigger TVs?
Creative: (oblivious) I want the World to feel the bass ...

And so on.

[chap]

I was contracted to play electric guitar with a symphony orchestra for the premiere of a
new symphonic piece which had a part specifically written for me.
After being thrilled for a day or so, the reality hit me: rehearsals with the whole symphony (I'm a recovering Berkleeite) and , you know, the clothes.

During the first rehearsal all was going well (I thought).
I had several sections that were X amount of bars with chord changes that were marked 'solo'. After the 3rd run through, the piano player became increasingly frustrated with me and yelled 'Stop!'. 'Uh, oh', I'm dead' I thought. We were sitting next to each other but he wouldn't speak directly to me. He addressed only the conductor.
"In bar 48, I have 'guitar solo' written and the guitarist is playing something different every time!'. 'May I see his part'.
I gave him my score. He was amazed to see just chord symbols.
He demanded to know where was I getting these notes!?

'Well' I stammered, 'It started in my parents garage ........' Orchestra laughs.
'But how are you playing different notes each time!?'
'Practice?'

'Oh, that's pretty cool'
'Thanks'
'Carry on'

Conductor - "Well, are you satisfied?!'
Pianist - "Sure, but it might throw me off"
Conductor - "Practice"

peace,
chap

[steins]

Originally Posted by Yannick

In all fairness, one of the better moments in our careers was the 30 minutes spent why 8 synth/electronics tracks didn't come in our DAW, this during a classical contemporay+live electronics mobile session.

Two SE (ourselves) experienced with their own material + one experienced live electronics/live engineer could not track down the problem.

Of course, the 8 ch AD bringing in these tracks WAS switched on, but had NO power chord.

I dare anyone laughing too loudly at this one to think and not remember something similar ...

More than once....
And what about trying to solve a problem for 1 hour, just to discover that the ***** unit wasn't patched in....

The "turn the EQ while in bypass and observe the change" syndrome has been beaten to death, but it still amazes me.....Me and my partner has engineered for, like 20 years each, and has used this trick on producers and musicians for ages, having great laughs about it. A few months ago, we were checking out a new plugin EQ. I must mention that we had great expectations of this EQ... After doing some initial sweeps. we were utterly amazed at how this plugin behaved. Silky smooth top, beefy lows....you name it! But hey.....why's that bypass button looking funny....oh, it's in bypass So much for pro engineers! The brain is a strange device....

And this is why one should never ever look at a computer screen while doing EQ. Never!

Stein Tore

[vaesion]

I had a winner yesterday
First the dude called and asked my assistant If we had any available slots open for studio time that day. We stay booked about 2 weeks in advance so we didn't. So he asks my assistant if we could make an exception being that its his birthday. Of course we coudnt....
So the next day......trying to bypass my assistant on a day he doesnt work.........
He came and sat in on someone elses session for 30 minutes.......I didnt know he was in here because I was mixing.
When I finally got up and walked to the back he said........" Look B, I know your all booked up man , know what im saying, but look man............it my birthday today, know what im sayin, and I know you gotta be able to fit me in........know what im saying........come ON B! Its my birthday man..........
followed by one more.......
"know what im sayin"

Hes done 2 sessions here in the last 2 years........
its amazing how many people think their 40 dollars is better or more special than everyone elses 40 dollars and believe the world owes them something

I had 2 guys come here yesterday in a suv limosine........dressed like 10 dollars......
They had a video camera making it seem like a special event.........askin
If they could record for free and get free beats and they would pay me on the flip and swore to me they were gona make it cause there cousins brother grandma knows the brothers sister of a guy named greg at defjam........
Of course their music was half ass.

Running a rap studio is like running a daycare of egocentric hustlers sometimes.

[Marineville]

"This song's in 7/4"
"No it's not, it's in 4/4!"
"No it's in 7/4, listen: one-two-three-four-five-six-se-ven"

And so on ...

[Marineville]

A few years ago I had writtten and recorded the theme to a BBC programme here in the UK. This was when DAT players were just becoming studio standard and as I had mastered to DAT the engineer asked me to bring my portable DAT player along to the dub as the BBC didn't yet have one. (Actually they did have one but it was chained to a trolley and a man in a white coat with a clipboard (I kid you not) had to wheel it into the studio for half an hour but it had to be pre-booked!)

Anyway, I turned up in the car park, removed my radio/cassette from the car dash board, and went into the dubbing suite. I was talking to the Producer about this and that when the assistant engineer came over to me. "Excuse me" he said, "Where do i plug this in?"

He was holding my car radio/cassette player ...

[Marineville]

This also from a good few years ago ...

I was doing Top of the Pops at the BBC with a well known band here in the UK. After navigating past security I turned up at the studio door with my drums in the back of my car and proceeded to unload when a man in a uniform came running over.
"Hey!" he shouted, "you can't do that! You need a man to do that!"
I had to stop what I was doing and wait while he radioed for a porter to come and unload the drums into the studio. As I was setting them up I asked one of the stage hands if he could get me a nail and a hammer. "What for?" he asked. I told him I always put a nail in the floor in front of my bass drum to stop it moving. "You can't do that!" he said. I asked him why not, expecting him to say it would make a hole in the floor or something, but he replied "You need a man to do that. There will be a strike if you do that yourself!" He proceeded to radio for a man ...