stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[LeMauce]

Originally Posted by Savagery

This thread is great...

I was mixing a live album, and the guitarist was always there over my shoulder... and would tell me things like "make this guitar track sound like a les paul through a Fender twin", or "a strat through a marshall with the gain halfway up". I mean, come on, WTF does that even mean, he played a PRS the whole time. Maybe he should go buy a few guitars instead of paying me to do the impossible.

I ended up making all the guitars sound like a Danelectro through a Bassman on a Tuesday afternoon in Madison Square Garden- he was pretty happy.

I know all the goods about situations like this... Epic.

[alvinphoto&sound]

This isn't really an in session happening, but I thought I'd share it with you .

it seems that 96bit and higher has already been around for a while now, check the attached picture...




Peace !

[Lifted]

Originally Posted by Dizzi45Z

While Melodyning a track the client says: "can you make that 'we' an 'I'?"

*Autotune artifact gargle distortion*

"WEIIIIIIII"

Close enough?

[Lifted]

Originally Posted by tjrivera1206

I was recording a singer and it was his first time in the studio. He was so nervous that he couldn't sing a good take so i decided to break the ice and tell him a joke.

The joke ( so what's the hardest thing about ice skating ? what? he replied !!
punch line - Telling your dad your gay !!! hahaha

He looks at me NOT laughing and says OK !!! with this insulted look in his face!!

Turns out he was gay !!! and the rest of the band didn't even know it !!!!

True story !

!!!!!!!!!!!


HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[brandonhackler]

Drummer: I want my drums to sound like the new Green Day... BTW, do you have any Duct tape?

Me: (timidly) ...why?

Drummer: One of my Tom heads is busted and I lost a lug on my snare head.

Me: ....... (committing suicide) .....

[Flying Colors]

Originally Posted by brandonhackler

Drummer: I want my drums to sound like the new Green Day... BTW, do you have any Duct tape?

Me: (timidly) ...why?

Drummer: One of my Tom heads is busted and I lost a lug on my snare head.

Me: ....... (committing suicide) .....

hahahah-ooo I feel ya on that one.

" It was not me that was off right there....it was the click!...." Drummer.

" Why does it take so long to get drums up and going?? I mean at live gigs, it takes the sound guy like.....15 minutes!" Guitar player dumb ass in studio.

[Flying Colors]

We had our drum editing day for probably one of the worst drummers I have heard in our studio. After, we play back these songs to get ready for bass tracking and the drummer says " oh, see that? that right there? I was SO on it on this one!" while banging his head to the now awesome sounding drums....

yeah buddy...all you man.

[brandonhackler]

here's a great one.

Some dudes i know were doing a session and bragging so hard about how awesome it sounded that they were tracking this record on tape. "It's so warm." It just sounds sooo much better than pro-tools.

So I decide to drop by their session to check out their progress. I walk in and scan the room only to realize the "tape" they had been bragging about was an ADAT!

[Easy Ed]

Q: what does the green light mean?

A: green means go

[narcoman]

Originally Posted by brandonhackler

here's a great one.

Some dudes i know were doing a session and bragging so hard about how awesome it sounded that they were tracking this record on tape. "It's so warm." It just sounds sooo much better than pro-tools.

So I decide to drop by their session to check out their progress. I walk in and scan the room only to realize the "tape" they had been bragging about was an ADAT!

we've had a couple of those on here !

[rhythmtech]

yes we understand how important tomorrow is. we'll definitly be on time and not hungover

i doubt it!

[johnny nowhere]

Really? Okay: 1986, in the studio, ready to hit record and I hear, " Hey, this paper I got last night is pretty good!"

Fo those few of you who have not a clue, "paper" is a slang term for "blotter" which is a slang term for Lysergic Acid Diethylamide.

Oh, just go look it up.

[iamlark]

Originally Posted by alvinphoto&sound

This isn't really an in session happening, but I thought I'd share it with you .

it seems that 96bit and higher has already been around for a while now, check the attached picture...



Peace !

This actually makes a lot of sense. MP3s are encoded at different bit rates for different qualities i.e. 96kbps, 192 kbps, 256vbr kbps, 320 kbps.

96kbps is pretty piss poor quality, btw. just sayin...

[12ax7]

Originally Posted by Flogger59

Lennon's first idea on that was to string him up in the studio from the ceiling [...]

I have often wanted to do that to a singer!

[dubrichie]

have the band in to listen to the mixes, which are as yet not mastered.

lead guitarist, who "knows a bit about engineering", "did a year at XYZ sound training college" pipes up and says:

"the drums just don't have the, the DYNAMICS man."

i say:

"em, how do you mean, exactly? can you describe the sound to me a bit more?"

he says:

"you know, the dynamics man, the DYNAMICS just aren't there in the drums!"

me:

"oooo k. i think i know what you mean. remember i tried to tell you last week about what mastering can do for a good mix? i'll do something like that to it, so you can hear what it will sound like mastered."

so i re-activate the "mastering chain" that i had prepped before they came in. oh yeah, i wasn't walking into this one blind. i knew what was coming.

this masterng chain consisted of a compressor and two limiters in series, set just right for maximum loundess and impact. not leaving much real dynamics ya know?

upon hearing it yer man immediately says:

"ah YEAH! that's IT man! that's IT! the DYNAMICS are DEADLY!"

they sure are...

[Deltones]

Originally Posted by Flying Colors

We had our drum editing day for probably one of the worst drummers I have heard in our studio. After, we play back these songs to get ready for bass tracking and the drummer says " oh, see that? that right there? I was SO on it on this one!" while banging his head to the now awesome sounding drums....

yeah buddy...all you man.

Maybe so, but if he was banging his head to the now awesome sounding drums, just means that you worked your magic pretty good and made the dude happy. Big win for you.

[Fu Schnickens]

Originally Posted by on the run

a few posts in this thread are funny but most of them are lame as and reek of pretentiousness and arrogance.. are you so surprised the dudes who come into your studio don't have a huge amount of knowledge of the technical stuff related to recording/eqs/all that shit?

a lot of you guys sound like you'd be horrible to work with. i guess the jealousy of dealing with dudes who are living the rock star dream while you're just cooped up in a studio every day gets to you eventually..

You're just mad because we're all so much better than you in every way.

[Lifted]

I had a long convo with the musician I was recording.

Somewhere in that endless convo he told me that labels sign the artist strictly based on their talent, and not the quality of recording you are presenting them, they don't care about the quality of the track sonically by any means, as long as the performance is good and once they call you, they will give you a guitar to play right in front of them to prove yourself.

I laughed.

[BudgetMC]

Originally Posted by brandonhackler

here's a great one.

Some dudes i know were doing a session and bragging so hard about how awesome it sounded that they were tracking this record on tape. "It's so warm." It just sounds sooo much better than pro-tools.

So I decide to drop by their session to check out their progress. I walk in and scan the room only to realize the "tape" they had been bragging about was an ADAT!

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by Lifted

I had a long convo with the musician I was recording.

Somewhere in that endless convo he told me that labels sign the artist strictly based on their talent, and not the quality of recording you are presenting them, they don't care about the quality of the track sonically by any means, as long as the performance is good and once they call you, they will give you a guitar to play right in front of them to prove yourself.

I laughed.

Wow.
I'm not sure if I would have laughed or cried.

[Lifted]

Originally Posted by PRobb

Wow.
I'm not sure if I would have laughed or cried.

Indeed my friend


But this is the same guy (47 years old) that wanted for me to track 30 songs for $100 each with unlimited time recording (OR $200 for a song mixed and recorded, regardless of how much time it takes to track it [days, years, decades]).

Let's keep it a little bit realistic here!

Guy: "Let's just record every track one after another and then we can pick out the good parts later"

THE HORROR

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by nenupharvn

These are many positions of Engineering department. It can include:
1.Engineering supervisor
2.Engineering officer
3.Engineering associate
4.Engineering assistant manager
5.Engineering executive
6.Engineering assistant
7.Engineering manager
8.Engineering specialist
9.Engineering director
10.Engineering clerk
11.Engineering coordinator

Based on the above positions can help you to set up Engineering dept, design job descriptions, Engineering interview questions.

I hope that this comment can help some info for our communities.

Rgs

Wait.... What the heck are you talking about?

[Flying Colors]

Some i hear more times than few.

-"oooh, but how am I gonna do that live?"


-Me- "check your tuning"

Guitar player plucks each string quickly, ignoring tuner " K, ready"


-Me- "Got new strings?"

Guitar player- " It's been in my case after every practice for the past 3 months....."

[matt thomas]

Originally Posted by Flying Colors

-Me- "check your tuning"

Guitar player plucks each string quickly, ignoring tuner " K, ready"


-Me- "Got new strings?"

Guitar player- " It's been in my case after every practice for the past 3 months....."

I don't know about these particular situations, but not everyone uses a tuner, and not everyone uses new strings for that matter.

matt

[StillCrazy]

Originally Posted by

[B

A Gospel Band I recorded years ago:[/B]
Just as I start burning the final master CD, the lead singer says "How about we don't pay you, and this will be a good gesture to the lord jesus".


[

Had a similar thing happen years ago. A church band came into and recorded an album and when it was mixed gave me a check and proceeded to leave.

I deposited their check and a few days later was notified by the bank that they had put a stop payment on the check.

I called and they told me that they had word from god and they were told I should donate my time to the project because it was what he (god) wanted.

I was a little shocked and told them it was unacceptable and they hung up on me.

Guess god didn't really talk to them as I had to take them to court, won the case and they ended up not only paying me but my attorney fees too.

They told me I would rot in hell so I told them I'd see them there.

[diezel_addict]

Engineer was flipping between the console and the 1/2" output while printing a mix to show the client how much better the mix sounded off tape. The tape machine was on input......

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by StillCrazy

Had a similar thing happen years ago. A church band came into and recorded an album and when it was mixed gave me a check and proceeded to leave.

I deposited their check and a few days later was notified by the bank that they had put a stop payment on the check.

I called and they told me that they had word from god and they were told I should donate my time to the project because it was what he (god) wanted.

I was a little shocked and told them it was unacceptable and they hung up on me.

Guess god didn't really talk to them as I had to take them to court, won the case and they ended up not only paying me but my attorney fees too.

They told me I would rot in hell so I told them I'd see them there.

Tell them God told you to sue for damages.

[narcoman]

Originally Posted by Lifted

I had a long convo with the musician I was recording.

Somewhere in that endless convo he told me that labels sign the artist strictly based on their talent, and not the quality of recording you are presenting them, they don't care about the quality of the track sonically by any means, as long as the performance is good and once they call you, they will give you a guitar to play right in front of them to prove yourself.

I laughed.

I actually know someone who signed to Chrysalis based precisely on a live gig and subsequent playing in the office! No recordings at all!!

[12ax7]

Originally Posted by StillCrazy

Had a similar thing happen years ago. A church band came into and recorded an album and when it was mixed gave me a check and proceeded to leave.

I deposited their check and a few days later was notified by the bank that they had put a stop payment on the check.

I called and they told me that they had word from god and they were told I should donate my time to the project because it was what he (god) wanted.

I was a little shocked and told them it was unacceptable and they hung up on me.

Guess god didn't really talk to them as I had to take them to court, won the case and they ended up not only paying me but my attorney fees too.

They told me I would rot in hell so I told them I'd see them there.

I guess they missed the part about "Thou shalt not steal."

[bexarametric]

Originally Posted by StillCrazy

Had a similar thing happen years ago. A church band came into and recorded an album and when it was mixed gave me a check and proceeded to leave.

I deposited their check and a few days later was notified by the bank that they had put a stop payment on the check.

I called and they told me that they had word from god and they were told I should donate my time to the project because it was what he (god) wanted.

I was a little shocked and told them it was unacceptable and they hung up on me.

Guess god didn't really talk to them as I had to take them to court, won the case and they ended up not only paying me but my attorney fees too.

They told me I would rot in hell so I told them I'd see them there.

I've always feared something like this happening. What I do to avoid this. 50% up front. The other 50% once the product is finished. Preferred cash. If you pay with a check, you get the product once the check clears. I have bands agree to this before I even agree to take on their project.