stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[avav179]

This one is not something said, but rather something seen:
The intern at the studio i used to engineer at was a little overzealous, but lacked common sense. While doing a final listen to some mixes, the entire band, manager, and few of the band' s friends are crammed in the control room to listen. I have the Masterlink cd tray open, getting ready to pop in a blank to burn a copy of the album for the band - who has to leave in an hour to go back on tour.
The intern wants to be part of the listening party, and is working his way through the 'crowd' to get in front of the speakers; in doing so his ridiculously long wallet chain hooks onto the cd tray and rips it right out of the machine. It was amazing to watch the whole band just give him the 'what a dick' look - and it wasn't my studio or intern, so I wasn't too upset, though I got stuck there for an extra few hours waiting for this same intern to return from GC with a new burner... After a month of work, the band had to leave with no cd.
good times.

[Howie J]

yesterday....doing a guitar overdub session for a younger guy at my place...

Guitar tech/friend (who really knew his stuff): "What do you want your lead tone to be??

Gtr guy: Well...first:...Awesome!!.....

Gtr tech and myself:Almost at the same time:

[mikethedrummer]

Talking about the mix window in protools.

"oh yeah my buddy has that plug-in in cubase"

[reggiesears]

"What input on this amp do I plug this guitar into?"
"What do a Tuner do?"
and the one that gets asked the most, "Whats this knob do??"

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by avav179

This one is not something said, but rather something seen:
The intern at the studio ...snip GC with a new burner... After a month of work, the band had to leave with no cd.
good times.

Ha... I like this one! Completely believable.

[conquer12]

This thread has become an integral part of my day.

[Space Station]

Originally Posted by avav179

This one is not something said, but rather something seen:
The intern at the studio i used to engineer at was a little overzealous, but lacked common sense. While doing a final listen to some mixes, the entire band, manager, and few of the band' s friends are crammed in the control room to listen. I have the Masterlink cd tray open, getting ready to pop in a blank to burn a copy of the album for the band - who has to leave in an hour to go back on tour.
The intern wants to be part of the listening party, and is working his way through the 'crowd' to get in front of the speakers; in doing so his ridiculously long wallet chain hooks onto the cd tray and rips it right out of the machine. It was amazing to watch the whole band just give him the 'what a dick' look - and it wasn't my studio or intern, so I wasn't too upset, though I got stuck there for an extra few hours waiting for this same intern to return from GC with a new burner... After a month of work, the band had to leave with no cd.
good times.

Good one!

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by DeuceBlazeNYC

This thread has become an integral part of my day.

Why don't you marry it?

[conquer12]

Originally Posted by Makinithappen

Why don't you marry it?

I would but according to the board stats there are 7 members & 14 guests reading inside her right now

With a track record like that... no thanks

[conquer12]

A few months ago:

(rapper finishes recording)

Rapper: Yo, can you mix that last part real quick?
Me: Sure man, let me make some quick edits.

(I edit his vocal tracks, then begin applying EQ... 5 minutes pass)

Rapper: So are you gonna mix it now?
Me: Actually that IS just what I was doing.
Rapper: .....

(confused look, a few seconds pass)

Me: What's up?
Rapper: How you gonna mix it without a turntable?
Me: .....

[The_Controllers]

Originally Posted by DeuceBlazeNYC

A few months ago:

(rapper finishes recording)

Rapper: Yo, can you mix that last part real quick?
Me: Sure man, let me make some quick edits.

(I edit his vocal tracks, then begin applying EQ... 5 minutes pass)

Rapper: So are you gonna mix it now?
Me: Actually that IS just what I was doing.
Rapper: .....

(confused look, a few seconds pass)

Me: What's up?
Rapper: How you gonna mix it without a turntable?
Me: .....

ROFL!

[alvinphoto&sound]

Originally Posted by D.A.S.

I hope this thread never ends!

It hasn't yet !

[zephonic]

Whhaaahahhaahhaaa, too funny.

I was recording a singer (a really nice dude and a pretty decent vocalist) for some project and innocently told him that I recorded his voice in mono. He got all indignant and insisted that his voice would sound fuller and more natural in stereo. I tried to explain, but he didn't buy it and when I did not give in he remained unhappy about it. This affected his work ethic somewhat as he kept complaining about his sound.

I related the incident to the studio owner, who disappeared and later came back with a set of Sony cans. During recess he introduced them to the singer telling him these were new surround headphones and he should try them. The singer tried them on, was delighted with the clear improvement and went on to nail it in three takes.
He later credited the surround sound headphones for making all the difference.

[zephonic]

And to piss on myself a little bit, in that same studio they had those huge old soffit mounted JBL's and KRK 7000 or 9000 series as nearfields. I loved the KRK's, and only checked the JBL's occasionally for oomph.

At one point I asked the engineer to switch to the mains 'cos I really wanted to hear what the low end was doing. He suggested that the KRK's would give it to me much more accurately, but I obstinately insisted that he switch to the JBL's.

So he turned it up, and all of a sudden I could really hear the bass working. I was satisfied and told him to switch back to the nearfields. He smiled and said "That's the nearfields". SOB had just cranked up the volume and those KRK's were sooo loud I honestly believed it was the mains!

[trompetfreak]

Nice!
We were in a pretty good take, and the 2-track I was mixing could have become the mix. Suddenly I hear the guitarist speak into his mic:
"Ok, I've made my sound, we can start recording now!"

Tho this sort of post came along on about every page, I still had to share...

[zephonic]

I was working on a local jazz singer's debut album with a good friend who is not only an ace jazz drummer but also a very accomplished recording engineer. He knows everything about mic placement etc. and can get extremely clear and full recordings on a budget.
But he is a bit of a traditional, acoustic music kind of guy, everything has to happen right here in the room and we capture that faithfully, you know the type. I mean, this session was the first he ever did with a click track!

So a few days after the band recordings, we come back in to redo the vocals and in this one particular tune she's tracking some BGV's. We do a take that I'm happy with but there's one particular short semi-tone that is not entirely spot on. He hears it and feels we should redo it, but the singer and I think it is okay, and to appease him I suggest that that minor intonation thing can be fixed by Autotune. He objects, but finally gives in and says "but you do it, because I don't know how it works".

I insert AT on the track, just use the E Major preset to show him what it can do, thinking I'll do the graphic editing after tracking. His attitude changes as he hears how it tightens up the track.

We continue tracking and now there is this bit where it gets tricky because she has to sing some pretty intricate harmonies and take after take she fails to get it right. I keep saying "you have to sing a C there, not a B" and she responds desperately: "but that's what I'm doing". I play it back for her to hear, and it's a B. This continues for 20 minutes after which we're both pretty exasperated.
I complain to my engineer friend who is sympathetic and very supportive: "Yeah, amazing how long that takes. I even left the Autotune on, and still she can't get it right!"

I laughed so hard I got hiccups, but the singer was going to kill him!

[solo-bration]

(Gathering payment) "Sooooo... what would we say for today... 9.3 hours?"

[eascholz]

Originally Posted by zephonic

I was working on a local jazz singer's debut album with a good friend who is not only an ace jazz drummer but also a very accomplished recording engineer. He knows everything about mic placement etc. and can get extremely clear and full recordings on a budget.
But he is a bit of a traditional, acoustic music kind of guy, everything has to happen right here in the room and we capture that faithfully, you know the type. I mean, this session was the first he ever did with a click track!

So a few days after the band recordings, we come back in to redo the vocals and in this one particular tune she's tracking some BGV's. We do a take that I'm happy with but there's one particular short semi-tone that is not entirely spot on. He hears it and feels we should redo it, but the singer and I think it is okay, and to appease him I suggest that that minor intonation thing can be fixed by Autotune. He objects, but finally gives in and says "but you do it, because I don't know how it works".

I insert AT on the track, just use the E Major preset to show him what it can do, thinking I'll do the graphic editing after tracking. His attitude changes as he hears how it tightens up the track.

We continue tracking and now there is this bit where it gets tricky because she has to sing some pretty intricate harmonies and take after take she fails to get it right. I keep saying "you have to sing a C there, not a B" and she responds desperately: "but that's what I'm doing". I play it back for her to hear, and it's a B. This continues for 20 minutes after which we're both pretty exasperated.
I complain to my engineer friend who is sympathetic and very supportive: "Yeah, amazing how long that takes. I even left the Autotune on, and still she can't get it right!"

I laughed so hard I got hiccups, but the singer was going to kill him!

You're implying that autotune was bumping her C natural (not in an E scale) down to a B, right?

[Mitchzizzle]

Originally Posted by John Eppstein

Well then they were asking you to do something that really isn't your job.

I'm basically opposed to the whole "stems" concept anyway. You do a mix. You send the 2-track to the ME. The ME masters it.

If some mook wants a different mix for a commercial or something he pays you to do a different mix.

The ME is not a mix engineer. It's not his job and it's not what he's paid to do.

Why would you be opposed to the stems concept? Not that I'm saying the mix engineer should master it if he has the option, but using stems for easier mixing and back-bussing just seems like an easement on the mixing process, not something that's out of line for a mixer. To each his own of course, but that's kind of like saying 'I'm against grouping'.

[Turdadactyl]

Originally Posted by Howie J

yesterday....doing a guitar overdub session for a younger guy at my place...

Guitar tech/friend (who really knew his stuff): "What do you want your lead tone to be??

Gtr guy: Well...first:...Awesome!!.....

Gtr tech and myself:Almost at the same time:

Was the guy serious? Cause I could TOTALLY see any number of my friends responding that way as a joke.

[mdjice]

Girl gets in the booth and tells me "I can't hear the music"....
Me: you don't have any headphones on...

[ddageek]

"somebody on Gearslutzs said..."

[Lynn Fuston]

Originally Posted by mdjice

Girl gets in the booth and tells me "I can't hear the music"....
Me: you don't have any headphones on...

Vaguely reminiscent of Post #2. Of course, you can be excused for not checking through 127 pages to make sure it's not been said before.

Like I hope I'll be excused for posting this, which I suspect has been mentioned before. But it's too good to exclude just in case.

[Just checked. Sure enough. Four times before.]

[dannygold]

I did something pretty dumb... I had a melodica I was using to show parts to a cello player and as I was doing so I tried to also sing along with my playing... DOH!

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by dannygold

I did something pretty dumb... I had a melodica I was using to show parts to a cello player and as I was doing so I tried to also sing along with my playing... DOH!

I have one sitting next to my desk for that same reason. Love the melodica!

[Berolzheimer]

Originally Posted by zephonic

Whhaaahahhaahhaaa, too funny.

I was recording a singer (a really nice dude and a pretty decent vocalist) for some project and innocently told him that I recorded his voice in mono. He got all indignant and insisted that his voice would sound fuller and more natural in stereo. I tried to explain, but he didn't buy it and when I did not give in he remained unhappy about it. This affected his work ethic somewhat as he kept complaining about his sound.

I related the incident to the studio owner, who disappeared and later came back with a set of Sony cans. During recess he introduced them to the singer telling him these were new surround headphones and he should try them. The singer tried them on, was delighted with the clear improvement and went on to nail it in three takes.
He later credited the surround sound headphones for making all the difference.

Nice save. That studio owner is a wise man.

[Howie J]

Originally Posted by Turdadactyl

Was the guy serious? Cause I could TOTALLY see any number of my friends responding that way as a joke.

I wish it was a joke my friend. ....I wish it was....

[smokescreensam]

I did something pretty stupid when recording vocals...
I got the singer to stand behind my SM7 and just sing through a couple of lines to get a level.
'That's very low' I think to myself. But being the SM7 I don't think anything of it. I crank the gain up to a usable level and go for a take of the whole song.
A very distant vocal sound comes through on playback and I start looking for a bus level to a reverb to turn down.
Turns out I'd record armed the track with the SM57 on the guitar cab across the other side of the room and recorded that instead!
DOH!
That'll teach me not to monitor properly!

[Surbitone]

Last week: "You know, liiiike, more boom innit? More pow - know what I'm sayin' yeah?"

[spenz]

...another classic:
After a 400 takes with the singer forgetting
his lyrics every ****ing single time:
"Hey, next take will be it! i can feel it!