stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[MMazurek]

After a 'non-keeper' take, I asked a drummer to switch his sticks to the opposite hands.

(Left hand stick in right hand, right hand stick in left hand)


He did it and recorded another take.





Unfortunately, I was the only one who thought it was funny.
(everyone else listened intently for the difference)

[Norman Lindsey]

Unfortunately, I was the only one who thought it was funny.

a drummer once really cracked it when i showed him how to play a tambourine.

i once had the lead singer of a death metal band singing out in the car park because i said it suited the groove better.
i had leads extending out from the control room
the band were out there with him in the cold
truth was i couldn't stand the music and i wanted to turn the monitors way low

[alk]

I heard this one... recording an electric guitar in stereo on 2" tape:

"please, use tracks 1 and 24 to get a wider stereo image..."

[ToneLux]

Buddy of mine in Belgium had a session and it went like this:

(after a train wreck take):

(producer/talkback mic)

"Did anyone hurt themselves?"

[shikawkee]

I was holding this one back but hopefully y'all find it amusing-

A few years ago I was producing a duo act when a mutual friend of mine and the act who played keys in a major-label band at one point offered to come play keys on the recordings. We all agreed even though we knew this person has some, well, 'baggage' and can be somewhat unpredictable and dramatic. Nevertheless, he pretty much wasn't taking no for an answer as he 'had to be on this record'. Anyway, he shows up hours late so that by the time he shows I've already done the keyboard parts myself. Undeterred he demands that because he has brought his new paramour with him he needs to impress this person and play on something. Reluctantly, I deciide to set up a cheap harmonium for shits and giggles and let him have at it with the implicit understanding that it is merely for show and as soon as we get one pass he's done, show over, he looks like a genius and we go to dinner. Easy, riight? Well, he takes the first pass and I'm just about to say, "Great, let's move on..." when he says "I think I can do better". I say, "No, I think you got it buddy" but he starts making a scene and demands that we do another pass! Now I don't know if you've ever played harmonium but there's a lot of huffing and puffing and it's pretty hard-to-time the bellows perfectly if you haven't done it much. I was really fed up and tired from a 12-hour day so far so after the second pass, which he thought was brilliant, I protested "I think you can do better". Of course he took the challenge-for the next hour and a half!!! I think I made him do something like 23 takes and he was completely exhausted and didn't seem to notice the duo I was producing laughing their asses off in the corner of the control room. He was huffing and puffing, churning and burning and I thought he was gonna' fall over at one point he was working so hard. It was like an episode of the Three Stooges except two were missing.

To this day he keeps asking me why the harmonium didn't make it on the record. The duo and I made a deal to keep blaming the other as to why it didn't make it. "No, they wanted it out. We loved it". I still love the guy but at least once a year when I'm having a bad day I open the session just to listen to the harmonium takes and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.

I love show bidness.

[Realtugs]

Originally Posted by ToneLux

Buddy of mine in Belgium had a session and it went like this:

(after a train wreck take):

(producer/talkback mic)

"Did anyone hurt themselves?"

Poetry that!

[chap]

1st quote: "I think you need to shoot the room"

Me: "Why's that?"

Client: irritated "I keep hearing clicking in my headphones. Time to shoot the room"

Me: : "Or, you could take your watch off"




2nd quote: "Hey, this sounds great! One more thing, could you put just a little more
mouse on it?"

[anna log]

Originally Posted by wm_b

I often hear voices in solo'd overheads. I just ignore them now but I still hear them.

They don't say anything but they are there mumbling away. I think I know what it is. I think it's the heads reforming after the initial impact but it sure sounds like voices.

wm.

I have a session drummer I work with who sings, sort of, more or less to himself, while he lays the track - it's always masked in the mix, but if you solo the O/Hs, you can hear him humming in falsetto, demonically out of tune, with little rises in the pitch as he comes to fills and crashes. Talk about a laugh......

[Drumsound]

Those solo Bonham tracks have moans and groans all over them. Elvin Jones grunts like you wouldn't believe. In piano land Keith Jarret and Glenn Gould are/were notorious hummers.

[Raw-Tracks]

Originally Posted by Drumsound

......notorious hummers.

Now that would make a great band name!

[SiliconAudioLab]

Originally Posted by anna log

I have a session drummer I work with who sings, sort of, more or less to himself, while he lays the track - it's always masked in the mix, but if you solo the O/Hs, you can hear him humming in falsetto, demonically out of tune, with little rises in the pitch as he comes to fills and crashes. Talk about a laugh......

I'd *PAY* to hear one of those tracks! C'mon!!

BTW I think "Jesus Juice" would be the best band name!

[ToneLux]

Sorry, but I had too...

[deft_bonz]

it took me some time to see it

[SoSueMe]

Client next to me at console: Give me more of that; that sounds awesome!

Me: I'm actually adjusting a knob on the console that was previously internally bypassed and actually does nothing.

Runner up:

Client in vocal booth: I'm going to come in there and kick your *ss!

Me: Remember how you commented how hard I hit the drums? I hit people even harder.

Client: Silence.

[SoSueMe]

Originally Posted by anna log

I have a session drummer I work with who sings, sort of, more or less to himself, while he lays the track - it's always masked in the mix, but if you solo the O/Hs, you can hear him humming in falsetto, demonically out of tune, with little rises in the pitch as he comes to fills and crashes. Talk about a laugh......

On a related note, are any of you guys really familiar with the Yellowjackets? On some of their CDs on at least one track, I hear this same sort of thing very low in the mix, usually during piano/keyboard solos. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but it's on at least three songs in total over a period of many years.

[PRobb]

OK Paul, thats f*ckin funny!

[deft_bonz]

not quite stupid, but funny

what do you do if the guitar player can not whip his foot groovy to the rhythm?




we did that last week for funky guitar track

[wwittman]

I'm starting to think the stupidest thing I've heard in a session is : "what mic pre GOES WITH this mic?"

[steins]

Originally Posted by Drumsound

Those solo Bonham tracks have moans and groans all over them. Elvin Jones grunts like you wouldn't believe. In piano land Keith Jarret and Glenn Gould are/were notorious hummers.

Don´t forget (the late) Jimmy Smith! The master of moans and groans!

Stein Tore

[MAProTulz]

Originally Posted by wwittman

I'm starting to think the stupidest thing I've heard in a session is : "what mic pre GOES WITH this mic?"

The answer to that is "the one in the board, dummy!" It makes my f'in head spin at how snobby folks are about preamps now. Yes, you need a certain level of quality, but that mic isn't going to sound any better thru an API than it is through a Neve than it is through something else less ****ing hyped. There's tons of good gear out there that isn't a "buzzword" yet.

Give me a portastudio and a buncha 57's. I'll get the job done...

[Jamz]

Originally Posted by SoSueMe

On a related note, are any of you guys really familiar with the Yellowjackets? On some of their CDs on at least one track, I hear this same sort of thing very low in the mix, usually during piano/keyboard solos. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but it's on at least three songs in total over a period of many years.

I think that's fairly common. Somewhere on the forum someone had a link for Bonham out takes. You could hear him grunting loud and clear. Having to sit behind the kit on occasion my vocal noises are evident. Remember the paino player Earl Garner?
I worked with an excellent blues guitarist who makes a loud rhythmic clicking noise with his mouth while playing the dobro. Also can't forget the classical guitar player whose emotional breathing through his nostrils almost rivals the sound of mild weeping.

[patrox247]

I once had a guitar player try to preach to me about how the Mastering engineer was going to have to use Pro Tools to fix all the out of tune guitars, so I was wasting his and everyone elses time by hasling him about it.

[roughly]

Hey gang -

I'm so grateful for these posts. I truly was starting to believe that the musicians in Chicago are just plain idiots. (i guess there still may be a case there, . . .)

I'm saving the money i was spending on therapy and buy more gear instead!


You ever feel like this?:
OK, yeah, we've got the song, the producer, the gear (well, never enough but a good start). Now all we need is a band that has . . .
1) A drummer that ----- ya know, play drums. (Ya know, drums? Not just the cymbals.)
2) A bassist that ----- ya know, play bass notes once and awhile.
3) A singer that can ----- ya know, sing.
4) A rhythm section that has ----- ya know, rhythm.
5) And just for good measure, maybe a guitarist that has some sense of melody.

(Sorry, i guess this belongs in the moan zone.)


jeffrey

[Berolzheimer]

Originally Posted by ToneLux

Sorry, but I had too...

I'm trying to figure out the symbolism here- what with MJ owning the Beatles' catalog....

[deft_bonz]

Originally Posted by mixman499

btw...while we were tracking that song...I suggested that I heard a bad chord during 2 measures on the piano....I was asked to "just record it...I am the f'ng producer"

why did i expect this?

i'm not sure if i should feel sorry for you and the musicians or him

[zimv20]

Originally Posted by roughly

(Ya know, drums? Not just the cymbals.)

for years, my band has always credited the drummer with playing "Drums and Cymbals"

[brendondp]

Originally Posted by zimv20

for years, my band has always credited the drummer with playing "Drums and Cymbals"

You must be in Rush, then.

Cheers to you,

bdp

[zimv20]

Originally Posted by brendondp

You must be in Rush, then.

oi! they did that? oops, we thought we were being original.

[raal]

just had a drummer ask why he could not hear the "clicky" track when he was playing along...he felt that he was playing so tite with it that it "drowned it out"....asked if he should try to play " a little faster or slower" so that he could hear it....I told him either would be fantastic....

a little OT but we were doing a session with mike baird (drummer) some years ago. he'd played with everyone from sinatra to journey.

well mike was so ON, he literally did 'erase' the click! WE couldn't hear it until we asked him to go a little behind or in front of the beat. the guy was scary... so if this 'clicky' guy was mike baird, i ain't surprised!!!

[JTR]

So I'm mixing in a studio where the co-owner is a very sweet guy with 5 yrs of university and a recording school dip, & bags of family dough, but sadly, not bags of little grey cells...

ANYWAY; they've been having some noise probs from their D-A box, and he casually mentions that he's thinking of getting some plastic piping to run all the cables thru to cut down on the noise...

we had a nice chat about the difference between an insulator and a shield...