stupidest things you have ever heard during a session.

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by trevoire520

Am I the only one who understands this???? He wanted you to bring up the treble in the bass guitar track...

I think everyone gets it... It just sounds funny.

[edcampos]

Originally Posted by Makinithappen

I think everyone gets it...

I'm gonna go ahead and second that...

Ed

[colinmiller]

I assume the title of the thread is not including some of the music being heard in sessions.

[Jaques Beraques]

Originally Posted by colinmiller

I assume the title of the thread is not including some of the music being heard in sessions.

NO!
That would require too much space on the Gearslutz-server!!

[deeper]

Originally Posted by zmoorhs

ME: - Any chance you could stop smashing the snare mic (which is in a position that it shouldn't ever be getting hit by any drummer other than animal from the muppets)

DRUMMER:- What? That's ma style man!!!

Another reason why SM-57's are a great choice for drums! Nobody cares if the drummer is a careless clod who bashes the mics.

I would have been tempted to respond to him, that as a recording engineer, MY style is to stick a mic stand up the drummer's arse if he damages my equipment.

[Ciaccona]

Just wanted to thank everybody for this thread.
I've arrived reading page 50 and it's still so much fun!

and...

happy birthday to the OP!

[Enginearing]

Originally Posted by abtech

In the middle of the 30th vocal take:

"Nobody can hit a high G, nobody . . ."

perhaps it was actually slightly mis-worded good advice....

Nobody Should hit a high G, Nobody.

although we all feel like slapping them when they bring in their mono beatz, soundcheck into a pop filter and ask for more beats in the cans their not wearing... lets all just remember, he IS high and probably got a piece in his jeans.

[Enginearing]

Originally Posted by GuitarRuss
Actually what he said about tripling the vocal isn't stupid at all.

Originally Posted by hey_mavis

what about 4 takes of each vocal harmony for backing voices? I usually do 4 of each harmony pan two of each on either side (some hard, some not so hard), give a natural crs effect

umm.. that would be a manufactured chorus effect wouldn't it?

[Enginearing]

And now for one of m own.
So I’ve just spent all of my spare time in the last two weeks reading this thread from start to finish (apologies to my girlfriend for this).
How entertaining. how epic.
So many times I have burst out laughing in disbelief and it is disbelief that brings me to the following story. I am sorry if it is a little long winded, but there are a few things along the way that would qualify for this thread even without the final punch. – believe me it’ll be worth the read.

The scary part about the following story is that the conversation took place between myself and someone who is operating a studio as a business.


About 18 months ago I lacked the resources to track a live band (blue and white G3 I’llsaynomore) so when my girlfriend’s band wanted to record, one of the guitarists found a studio close to where he lived. (band had 4 members, 2 live 1.5 hr away from the other 2)
Having tracked all the instruments live, including laying down a scratch vocal in the first session, My GF traveled down to lay down some vocal takes. I had the day off so I thought what they hey I’ll

[Finnish]

Now THAT is a story!!! HUH!

[hey_mavis]

Originally Posted by Enginearing

Originally Posted by GuitarRuss
Actually what he said about tripling the vocal isn't stupid at all.



umm.. that would be a manufactured chorus effect wouldn't it?

lol depends on how u look at it I suppose

[AnthonyRochester]

Originally Posted by Enginearing

You see he’s got to put in the extra time to realign stuff because ALL HIS MIC LEADS ARE DIFFERENT LENGTH.

Oh dear... I think this one wins

[dkelley]

Originally Posted by teo

Hi.
Care to elaborate on that?
Just wondering...

well I guess you don't "need" it, but I feel that it's really helpful for people new to the engineering experience to try tracking to tape for a while and experiencing the good and bad of it so they (a) don't feel it's some mojo magic that is perfect in every way (but so they do experience how magical it CAN be at it's best), (b) experience tape noise and how to minimize it and (b) splice it.

those people will come away with a lot more knowledge than any course can teach imho.

:-)

[dkelley]

Originally Posted by Neon Heart

"hearing" colours is pretty common, but usually these are bound to tonalities.
C-Major is blue, A-minor red, C sharp-minor green, E-Major orange etc. (at least to me... )

one of my biggest annoyances in the job is guessing what someone means when they could simply say it using words that are actually meaningful and relevant. yes it's part of the job, and we all have to get as good at is as possible, but come on... what does that mean? it's not anything really right? if people want help they need to express it in many ways.

for me if someone says something like "I need that to be more orange" I can get the gist of it, a little warmer with a tinge of presence maybe, but that's obviously just a guess (happens to be right sometimes though LoL).

so I always try to encourage them to come up with more similes of what they are feeling about it, if they come up with "grassy plains at sunrise" then I get a different idea of orange than if they say "lava flowing over scurrying animals".

the latter, fortunately, is a rare example.

[dkelley]

Originally Posted by Enginearing

In the control room was 002, G4, Dynaudio Monitors(I think) a couple of nice pres, and a 24 channel Behringer (eiech!!) console....

nothing wrong with that if he makes great music... of course I've read the whole post and know that he doesn't, but still, those berry boards are better than some of the old mackies people used to use (that always had like 5 channels that were dead LoL). EDIT: and no I'm not bashing mackie, amazing for project studios back in the day, but just sayin.. you know. mackies back in the day were blueish green where berrys are purply grey. got it?

Originally Posted by Enginearing

He explains how hard it is to set levels with such young voices.

I love that one. I guess he didn't want to waste his manleys on tracking? :-)

Originally Posted by Enginearing

I notice he’s running most instruments back out their own outputs into the behringer thing. Okay hang on, even the vocal channel has been sent back to the console and is running the FB mix to the booth. Yes – post disk…. Hello latency…

I don't quite follow this one - must be misunderstanding what you wrote. I often mix outside the box through analog desks, doesn't add any more latency than taking 2track out of the daw since the sound is coming out in either stereo (in the box mix) to the cans while she overdubs or multitrack (out of the box mix) to the mixer to outboard fx to the cans while she overdubs. my outboard doesn't have latency. my converters have latency. one layer of d/a is n latency. if I run the d/a 20 times simulataneously for 20 tracks it's still n total latency. I can playback 2 or 20 tracks on my mpowered system, same amount of latency (almost zilch). and either way it's irrelevant since the software should be smart enough to compensate for it (if not then you can do it yourself... which is what I thought you meant in the next part... turns out I was wrong hahaha, who knew mic leads had latency...)

so I totally am misreading what you're saying I think. sorry bout that, but either way the next point is sheer brilliance:

Originally Posted by Enginearing

You see he’s got to put in the extra time to realign stuff because ALL HIS MIC LEADS ARE DIFFERENT LENGTH.

THAT IS THE WINNER. I've never heard a story with the "engineer" being the dumbass. I love that one. made my day. :-)

cheers man, great post.

[KillerV]

Not exactly something I heard on a session, but still pretty stupid. I spoke to an er... industry professional today and we started talking about preamps. I said something about a Joemeek TwinQ and he said that it "might not be in the same league as SSL, but can definitely run along units by folks like (a couple of names here) and SOLID STATE LOGIC"

WTF!!??? This guy was supposed to know what he was talking about!

[LeGrand]

I'm glad i'm just on page 5. So much fun still ahead...
And just for your fantasy: imagine, how many superbands you can build out of all the mr. metals, mr heroines etc!!!

To my story:
i was recording an absolutely unprepared guitarist, it was a solo part. He played different melodies every time and we wer close to take No. 120(!!!!). By that time i asked him for the tenth time, if he would like to try again tomorrow with fresh fingers. His reply: "I think take 23 was okay..."

[joeq]

Originally Posted by dkelley

one of my biggest annoyances in the job is guessing what someone means when they could simply say it using words that are actually meaningful and relevant....

for me if someone says something like "I need that to be more orange" I can get the gist of it,...

I can't.

In my experience, people who have synesthesia rarely agree on what color = what sound. It is of interest only to their internal monologue. Other people either make no connection or a different connection.

[andersmv]

Originally Posted by LeGrand

I'm glad i'm just on page 5. So much fun still ahead...
And just for your fantasy: imagine, how many superbands you can build out of all the mr. metals, mr heroines etc!!!

To my story:
i was recording an absolutely unprepared guitarist, it was a solo part. He played different melodies every time and we wer close to take No. 120(!!!!). By that time i asked him for the tenth time, if he would like to try again tomorrow with fresh fingers. His reply: "I think take 23 was okay..."

As much as something like that annoys me, I always remind myself that I'm getting paid to sit back and listen to a dumbass play. That always makes things beter.

[andersmv]

Originally Posted by dkelley

for me if someone says something like "I need that to be more orange" I can get the gist of it, a little warmer with a tinge of presence maybe, but that's obviously just a guess (happens to be right sometimes though LoL).

If someone said that to me I'm going to walk into the closet and bring out the orange amp, lol...

[henryrobinett]

Originally Posted by joeq

I can't.

In my experience, people who have synesthesia rarely agree on what color = what sound. It is of interest only to their internal monologue. Other people either make no connection or a different connection.

Although people have their own internal perceptions of what color means to them, I can also kind of "get" what they're talking about. I normally will then ask a follow up question or two to make sure we're on the same page. Many colors have a certain standardization, though not always the same.

I've said this here before but Joni Mitchell told me once the reason she loved to work with Jaco, Herbie, Wayne and Erskine so much was they understood immediately what she mean when she referred to colors or described things in metaphors to convey what she wanted. Most people just kind of laughed at her and she hated that. Those guys understood and took her seriously.

[Jordan Jerkwad]

Not a recording session but a "live sound gig" i was asked to do for my school. I was basically just going to run the PA system for music and such during the pre game/halftime/time outs..... The gig was supposed to be on saturday... They asked me Thursday and told me to come in Friday to talk details. I show up and ask if they have a mixing board, of course they don't. All they have is a cd player in a rack tucked back into a corner. They also don't have music, they wanted me to provided the clean music that's suitable for basketball games.... well i just dont listen to what's "popular" so that wouldnt work. The guy told me to get it off itunes and wasnt going to give me money to pay for the songs. WTF.... and I was only going to get about 25-50 bucks and it was the first day of my spring break...I politely turned them down and gave them a number to some one who is less qualified but can still get the job done.

Im not just some stupid college student. I've been working/interning in studios for 5 years before i came to school and have done live sound for about the same. If I'm taking time out of my life, I excpect to get paid... more than 25-50 bucks

[Dan]

jerkwad!



hah.

[Dan]

Originally Posted by henryrobinett

I've said this here before but Joni Mitchell told me once the reason she loved to work with Jaco, Herbie, Wayne and Erskine so much was they understood immediately what she mean when she referred to colors or described things in metaphors to convey what she wanted. Most people just kind of laughed at her and she hated that. Those guys understood and took her seriously.

Maybe, or maybe they were more convincing at saying, "Yeah, I dig."

[jeremy.c.]

Originally Posted by dkelley

I don't quite follow this one - must be misunderstanding what you wrote. I often mix outside the box through analog desks, doesn't add any more latency than taking 2track out of the daw since the sound is coming out in either stereo (in the box mix) to the cans while she overdubs or multitrack (out of the box mix) to the mixer to outboard fx to the cans while she overdubs.

The fact is he had a board for monitoring and didn't mult the mic to the board for zero latency, instead he ran it into the computer then to the board for monitoring... not the wisest workaround to the 15m mic lead latency issue...

Originally Posted by dkelley

if they come up with "grassy plains at sunrise" then I get a different idea of orange than if they say "lava flowing over scurrying animals".

Brilliant!

[FeatheredSerpent]

Originally Posted by KRStudio

Guitarist flubs through a section of music. He says "that take sucked, just put some delay on it and it will sound better".

me "yes that sucked, hearing it twice makes it better how"?

Jeff

Originally Posted by Enginearing

although we all feel like slapping them when they bring in their mono beatz, soundcheck into a pop filter and ask for more beats in the cans their not wearing... lets all just remember, he IS high and probably got a piece in his jeans.

These two get the 'spitting coffee on keyboard' award from me today

[henryrobinett]

Originally Posted by Dan

Maybe, or maybe they were more convincing at saying, "Yeah, I dig."

Whatever man. I have a feeling She'd perceive the difference.

[TheQuietLiar]

"With all that distortion, you'll never hear that out of tune guitar"

[hey_mavis]

Originally Posted by henryrobinett

Whatever man. I have a feeling She'd perceive the difference.

blood cloth

[GuitarRuss]

Originally Posted by hey_mavis

blood cloth

That gets my vote for creepiest post at gearslutz. What a strange and indecipherable way to respond to an opinion. Maybe you mean 'blood clot' in a reference to the Jamaican slang "Bumba Clot"? That's my best guess...

Anyway, if you want to call people who talk about music in abstract terms names, you'll be shutting out a lot of greats like Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix and many of the classical composers. I'm sure most of the time terms of color don't help, but I'm also sure that occasionally, when used properly, they can help. For example, if someone says, "I want the listener to feel that it's 3:00 at night on an empty street...the colors are mostly blue...I'm looking for an ominous vibe," that will help some mixers. It paints a picture in the imagination and if it happens to be the right one for the song, then that will help the process in a way that talking about specific reverb, delay and compression settings won't. The frustration is that most of the time you're not hearing an artist like Joni Mitchel or a Miles Davis who has a real artistic vision, you're hearing someone who doesn't know what they want throw up abstractions in an effort to get to a fairly nebulous destination.