Your best A&R/manager/publisher quotes

[ericwall]

Allow me:

1. Publisher instructs me in his office: "Yo! Ricky Martins management is looking for songs. You should write a SUPER HIT for him!
You know... like... when the housewives are at home frying bacon (does a housewife-frying-bacon move) and they hear it on the radio... they go WOAH!!! I have to get this! ...and... just... runs out to nearest store to buy the record!"


2. Publisher on the phone: "Yo! Wassup!? I want you to write bubbelgum-pop for this 14-year old Danish girl. She's got HUUUGE BOOBS!"


3. A&R on the phone: "I need a brain-washer for this group! You know... like... something everybody hates... kinda like...monotonous shit... you know... (sings totally out of pitch) "taxi,taxi,taxi I'm a taxidriver in Calcutta... " Can you do that? We will sell MILLIONS!


4. Manager visit my studio with 16 year old girl who he wants me to work with.
Girl looks scared.
Manager has a crazy look in his eyes. I offer coffe or tea.
Manager: "Tea's fine"
Me: "I've only got green tea"
Manager yelling while staring at girl: "Good. I like green. Cause GREEN IS THE COLOR OF DOLLARS!!!





Straight outta the real world/ EW