Things to do when Pro Tools / your computer hangs/crashes

[Jfriah]

Ok, another silly thread. I think it is about time I started my book. I think the general 'computer' one has been taken so we'll go with 'Pro Tools' in this instance.


(p.s. as a disclaimer--I'm slightly serious when talking about a book / e-book, etc. so if you choose to contribute to "things to do when..." it may get quoted or used and it would be for entertainment purposes and if it ever was published/released anywhere thanks and credit would be given to each contributor [in the 'contributors' and/or 'thanks' section at the start]. This serves as fair notice that if it becomes something [could be in the distant future...the year 2000...] that ever becomes pay-for-access/sold, the funds would be donated to something legitimate-----but this is all an amusing pipedream at this stage)

-Jeff
__________________

1. Go check www.gearslutz.com and ask people to throw ideas out for 'things they do when their system hangs/crashes'.

2. Go for water (I don't drink coffee).

[Smallbudgetguru]

when PT is being funny I try the following. If one does not work I goto the subsequent number.

1- restart PT

2- restart computer

3- trash PT prefs
number 1 usually fixes most annoying bugs.

[Jfriah]

Thanks, but this wasn't a 'cry for help'.

Originally Posted by Jfriah

Ok, another silly thread.

It was a 'what are some stress-relievers/things you do to kill the time when'...

...waiting for pro tools to grab its brain again/when you're restarting your system.


3. Spin around in my chair and see what happens first: nausea or beachball stops spinning.

[medearis]

-Tap fingers on desk & blame the band for being voodoo witch doctors and tell them to stop hexxing in my studio!
-Ask myself, "why aren't I using Logic...?"
-Hand stand push-ups! (best relief ever)
-If drunk enough, start yelling at it like it's an old, cheatin-ass-ex-galpal!

Luckily I don't have to be on PT much these days, usually only if I'm helping out a buddy out that has it. Converted to Logic a bit ago.

[Rick Sanchez]

In the old days when something went wrong, we'd call maintenance and when they walked in the room, the problem would go away.

Today, I pretend to call maintenance, leave the room and come back with a lab coat and a big hammer. One kick is maintenance, two kicks are abuse.
That usually fixes the problem.

[georgia]

1. attempt boot.
2. wait.
3. If System is operational goto 4, otherwise goto 5
4. get back to work until system crashes again...goto 1
5. locate all cables in back of system
6. remove said cables
7. locate all cables in front of system
8. remove said cables
9. locate handles on computer
10. lift computer utilizing said handles, careful not to hurt back during lift.
11. begin slow swing until system has developed appropriate kinetic energy
12. release on top of swing, cover eyes to protect from shattered glass as computer launches through 21st floor window.
13. sit down at laptop
14. order new computer.
15. wait.
16. open box.
17. locate unconnected cables
18. connect said cables
19. goto 1.


cheers
geo

[soundboy]

Eat the client snacks.

[BIGBANGBUZZ]

My Step 1 is usually drop a few F-bombs first.

Originally Posted by georgia

1. attempt boot.
2. wait.
3. If System is operational goto 4, otherwise goto 5
4. get back to work until system crashes again...goto 1
5. locate all cables in back of system
6. remove said cables
7. locate all cables in front of system
8. remove said cables
9. locate handles on computer
10. lift computer utilizing said handles, careful not to hurt back during lift.
11. begin slow swing until system has developed appropriate kinetic energy
12. release on top of swing, cover eyes to protect from shattered glass as computer launches through 21st floor window.
13. sit down at laptop
14. order new computer.
15. wait.
16. open box.
17. locate unconnected cables
18. connect said cables
19. goto 1.


cheers
geo

[ggegan]

Step 1. Kick the dog
Step 2. Beat the children
Step 3. Beg forgiveness
Step 4. Donate computer to charity

[Sonsey@mac.com]

Perform bad renditions of Monty Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"...

[georgia]

....and the ever ubiquitous, with a smile on your face... "No no no, the system didn't crash mr. client. I just thought it would be a good place for a Coffee break so I shut it down for a couple. Lets get some coffee..." All while, motioning the intern or asst engineer to ... FIX IT NOW!


cheers
geo

[philper]

1: shut down the DAW app
2: shut down the computer
3: power down the rack, like disconnected from AC
4: leave the computer rack door open
5: start timer
6: go outside. look at sky. hit the bathroom. look at the newspaper.
7: check timer--after 3 min or so, fire up system
8: as the system boots, scream at top of lungs:
"you miserable piece of shit if you ever do that again you are LANDFILL!"
9: resume work

Philip Perkins

[Jfriah]

This used to be a favourite of mine in ADR sessions:

4. "Excuse me, I have to check the tape; I'll be right back."--calmly get up, walk out of the studio, past the machine room and ask the techs to look into whatever was going on, keep walking down the hall, out the back door, walk the 20 yards to the riverside park, walk down along the river, back to the front of the building, in the front door, say hi to the receptionist, go past the machine room and usually go back into the studio

"we're good to go again. Sorry about that."

Timespan, usually about 3-5 minutes.
It was great to have that park and river...

Jeff

[D'Animation]

I've a temper so I tend to hit things and swear a lot...throwing things around the room is my new one - if its cheap and replacable, its fair game for a flying lesson...

Or if I'm really mad I go into the VO booth and just roar away until I calm down a bit.

If clients are in the room, I mutter and take deep breaths
Seriously, I need anger management

[thoogenakker]

Originally Posted by soundboy

Eat the client snacks.

That's funny. I actually did this last week.

"oh man, I just love cheese, don't you? oh, hey, I need more coffee, how 'bout you guys?"

(this way I can swoop my mouse to 'Restart' even FASTER after I get a bigger jolt of caffeine going..)