Funny Craigslist Ads

[bcgood]

So I thought it would be fun to start a thread with all of the funny Craigslist adds that want high quality work for next to nothing. Here's my contribution which was listed today for Davis, CA. Now post a funny post production tv/film add from your neck of the woods.

_____________________________________________ ____________

Composer Needed for Short Film Score (Davis)
Reply to: job-842183147@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-15, 4:26PM PDT


So here's the deal,

The premiere for this short film is on October 10th. The film runs 14 minutes and 30 seconds. We need the score to be completed by the very end of September. This is a rushed job and we need someone who can do it during the time crunch, but still produce a quality score. You'll need to provide a sample of your previous work done while applying. Your payment for writing and producing the score will be $100.




* Location: Davis
* Compensation: $100
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

[Rick Sanchez]

There was a guy across the street on Friday selling plywood guitars for $15.00. He might take the job.

I love those people on Craig's List asking for the keys to the city for lo/no/defered pay.

Do they have NO clue whatsoever or are they simply sleazy?

[tsvisser]

Its a type megalomania. They honestly believe that other people are as excited to be involved with their project as they are. After awhile, though, they either have to be completely out of touch with reality and have deceived even themselves, or learn to become sleaze bags.

I should sign up for that job, bash my forehead on the keyboard for 2 minutes, submit my work last minute, and then demand my hard earned $100... I'd go to bed without nary a guilt in the world.

[neilwilkes]

Another thing that seems to be distressingly common is that the budgets all get blown in filming, or on random unimportant kak.
Audio is an afterthought.

On another side, we recently turned down a joker who came to us with a series of 8 DVD to author. He said the budgets were £500 to £800, and the films were 40 minutes long each & wanted 5.1 & stereo audio.
We talked to him, thinking that if it was something interesting it might be worth looking at, but it turned out that what we thought was a "per film" budget turned out to be for all 8.
He then went on to say that he had already given someone else £500 to do the first one (apparently it was a student with a hacked copy of DVDSP) who ballsed it up completely, and we were asked to pick up the pieces.
He could not seem to comprehend why we refused the job, and seemed to expect us to allow for the fact he had already spent almost half his total budget on a rip-off artist & got quite offensive, telling us that we were out of order & wasting his time!!!!!

Needless to say, last we heard he was still looking for a mug to take it on.

[SaschaP]

It's a disturbing trend. The film maker blows their whole budget on shooting and either lets the video editor "mix" the audio or try's to get an audio engineer for "credits and a copy". Most video editors I know won't walk in the room for less than a $400/day rate. Why would we?

[soundfx]

It IS a disturbing trend. Its all over mandy.com as well. Almost every ad is for someone needing a "dynamic" score for lo/no/deferred pay" and credits. Garbage in/garbage out is what you'll get. You get what you pay for most of the time. Saw an ad today for someone wanting post mixing for a 7 minute short for $250. $250 doesn't buy an HOUR of time with a decent mixer at a proper studio these days. The appalling thing is that THAT ad looked appealing to apply for as a freelancer just because it paid SOMEthing. People are such cheapskates these days. It must be working for them though, because the ads are breeding like bunnies.

[georgia]

ok.. not on craigs list but...

I just walked out of a meeting with a potential client. The gig was to teach 40 students audio post production for Indie films. 9 one hour classes. Complete with exams, course outline, Books, homework assignments.... AND... to open my studio to 4 teams of students to sound design, ADR, Foley, and MIX 4 twenty minute shorts in less than 10 days of post time...

Now on top of this... they wanted me to mentor the students during filming and picture editorial, provide access to my sound library and help to resolve issues that ..."might"... ( yeah right ) come up during the whole process... Then they wanted me to add a few days for various misc support....

For $10,000.... I walked out. it would have been like nothing an hour by the time the dust settled and the client would be yelling at me because the student worked probably would have sucked in the end because they figured 5 days for all of the sound for all 4 projects and 4 days to mix ALL the 20 minute shorts.

it just ain't worth it....


cheers
geo

[Frank S.]

[top]HD VIDEOGRAPHERS WANTED (Washington DC)

Reply to: job-834174854@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-09, 3:20PM EDT



Need HD videocam ops to film Delerium concert at Nightclub 9:30 on Wednesday October 1st. Applicants will need to attend one interview/training session/meeting which will be scheduled in early September.

Please respond with your camera make and model, and also if you have a tripod, shoulder harness, monopod, and any mics or lights you may have. Some camera ops will also be shooting additional footage, such as interviews, fan footage, etc.

Media plus meal is also included. Your name will appear in the credits of a high profile dvd release.

Please send link to your online demo reel and/or website.

• Location: Washington DC
• Compensation: $100
• This is a contract job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 834174854

[soundfx]

$100 and a meal!!!!!! Pretty soon these jokers are going to ask to be paid for the privilege of working on their "high profile" projects.

Eek. Those ads should go in the "Bend Over" section.

[bcgood]

Scary stuff, these ads are just way too common. They're kind of funny though in a twisted sort of way. I mean most of these projects must not end well...

[pjplayer]

ads! it's ads, not adds. unless this thread is about some craiglist-myspace-facebook juggernaut?

dictionary

ads - short for advertisements
adds - not short for advertisements

[minister]

Originally Posted by pjplayer

ads! it's ads, not adds. unless this thread is about some craiglist-myspace-facebook juggernaut?

dictionary

ads - short for advertisements
adds - not short for advertisements

ah yes, proper orthography is overrated. i take it your paucity of majuscules should by no means be viewed as concessive to slackerdom, nor bespeaking of an unfamiliarity with the normative suggestions contained the fine publication by mess'rs strunk and white. yes? or is this practice a protestestation : a metaphoric common pin with which to prick the balloon of the orthographic officiates?

IOW, I find it interesting to view corrections without use of a shift-key.

[soundfx]

Holy pwnage.

[gsilbers]

I remembered a few months ago i posted a similar thread and in it got the idea with other folks to do "protest posts", post attack... i dunno how to call it but basically everyone posts on craigslist something like "major studio looking for indie films and short films for distribution" and in the post start writing that a mmajor network is looking for small films and indie films and will keep all rights and pay is $100. and at the end basically saying that you also are making "art" but also need to get paid so pay up for audio and music!!!

o even simpler.. just post "pay audio and music what it deserves!!!" and in the post say why. but everyone at the sametime will have about 2 or 3 pages of the same posts so that way the video guys/directors/scumbags can see it and get a glimpse of our views.

[gsilbers]

An audio project has been mastered on Avid - all tracks are in place - all audio effects dropped in -

Project needs to have levels adjusted - mixdown - to master for final output.

Project is approximately 80 minutes -

Work on my avid system in Toluca Lake.

There is pay - please contact with your experience and availability and we can discuss rate.

Please know this is low budget but should be workable. Thanks much.

[gsilbers]

Things are great here at our studio. So good we are looking for a Tech/IT/Audio Mixer/Assistant Video Editor type person. We would be up for many different scenarios. This person must be very heavy Apple/Mac knowledgeable, an I.T. person, a very good knowledge of Protools, a good knowledge of Avid, some PC knowledge would be good as well. Maybe someone who can empty a dishwasher from time to time. (Well that’s not so important.)

[bcgood]

[TVPostSound]

Color Correction and Final Sound Mixing Needed for Short Film (South Bay )

Reply to: ivan.ehlers@gmail.com [?]
Date: 2008-08-24, 10:07AM PDT


Color Correction and Final Sound Mixing Needed

We are in the final stages of post-production for our short film, and are now looking for a sound designer and someone to do color correction. We are offering $150 pay as well as credit on the film which will be entered into numerous film festivals.

We have a stiff deadline coming up and we need to get the job done ASAP.

COLOR CORRECTION NOTES: We shot on the HVX-200 at 720i 24pa. 90% of the film is in black and white and we have basic reference for the black and white color templates.

Please contact us with some scenes or footage you have worked on. The film is 21 minutes long and the job should be pretty easy. We are offering $150 for the job, but that is negotiable depending on experience and availability.

Please be ready to start immediately. We are able to come out to your area and bring all the necessary components. Thanks for your interest, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Contact: Ivan - Ivan.Ehlers@gmail.com


Location: South Bay
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $150 for job
PostingID: 810718045

[TVPostSound]

Sound Guy needed (Culver City)

Reply to: rosalieheller@yahoo.com [?]
Date: 2008-09-12, 9:05AM PDT


: ( Sound guy with 5 lavalier mics
We're shooting a great reality show with 5 gorgeous women and we need a sound guy that can mike up 5 girls. It's only for 5 hours on Saturday from 11am-4pm.

respond to rosalieheller@yahoo.com





Location: Culver City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $50
PostingID: 837877717

[JBLpro4645]

“colour” “centre”

[TVPostSound]

“colour” “centre”

Wanker, not Wankre.

[Jesse Peterson]

Production Jobs > USA New York/New Jersey > View Job Details Create RSS feed Vacancy: Film/Sound Editor Employer: Anonymous Location: Long Island, NY Duration: Sept. 21-27, starts Sept. 21, 2008 Payment is on a lo/no/deferred basis. Production company seeking eager film/sound editor for untitled short film, experience in Final Cut Pro IS A MUST, experience in Sound Forge is a plus. Compensation is copy, credit, and meals ONLY (no pay). Location is East Meadow, LI, NY. Applicants will meet with crew on Sunday Sept. 21 at the location.
Contact # is 516-345-4555. Leave & spell name, email address, and phone number SLOWLY. Only serious applicants may apply. We are looking to meet a festival submission deadline of Sept. 27th. If you're a hard working, no nonsense type who are hungry for action and want to make it big, we want to hear from you.
Apply to: Anonymous, 516-345-4555

[danijel]

Originally Posted by TVPostSound

: ( Sound guy with 5 lavalier mics
We're shooting a great reality show with 5 gorgeous women and we need a sound guy that can mike up 5 girls. It's only for 5 hours on Saturday from 11am-4pm.

Compensation: $50

A little bit of math:
A sound guy lavs 5 girls for 5 hours for 50$.
How many girls can the sound guy lav for 10 hours for 100$?

[tsvisser]

Originally Posted by TVPostSound

Sound Guy needed (Culver City)

Reply to: rosalieheller@yahoo.com [?]
Date: 2008-09-12, 9:05AM PDT


: ( Sound guy with 5 lavalier mics
We're shooting a great reality show with 5 gorgeous women and we need a sound guy that can mike up 5 girls. It's only for 5 hours on Saturday from 11am-4pm.

respond to rosalieheller@yahoo.com

Location: Culver City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $50
PostingID: 837877717

Hi Rosalie,

I am a sound guy, in fact my friends would call me quite well put together. Not to brag or anything, but my lav is well put together - actually my whole kit is actually quite sound. These girls that you wish me to lav, let me tell you, I can lav them all night long. 6 hours is just a warm up for me. I was a bit surprised when you asked for 5 girls to be lav'd simultaneously, the most I've ever done before was two. Whenever I allow myself to daydream, sometimes I think of lav'ing 3 girls at the same time. When I heard that you wanted 5 girls lav'd, it just blew my mind. Why had I never thought of this? Why is someone else asking for it to be done? I don't even know if it is possible, but someone has obviously thought this through, and knowing nothing else, I am your guy. I will lav them. $50, although only paying me the gas money for me to come to your place, with my lav, the opportunity alone to be the one to do the lav'ing... it is history, it is art, it is a dream, a once in a lifetime chance to prove to the world, to destroy the naysays of the naysayers. You and I, with your vision, my lav, we will lav all 5 gorgeous women simultaneously and for $50. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.

[tsvisser]

Originally Posted by Jesse Peterson

Production Jobs > USA New York/New Jersey > View Job Details Create RSS feed Vacancy: Film/Sound Editor Employer: Anonymous Location: Long Island, NY Duration: Sept. 21-27, starts Sept. 21, 2008 Payment is on a lo/no/deferred basis. Production company seeking eager film/sound editor for untitled short film, experience in Final Cut Pro IS A MUST, experience in Sound Forge is a plus. Compensation is copy, credit, and meals ONLY (no pay). Location is East Meadow, LI, NY. Applicants will meet with crew on Sunday Sept. 21 at the location.
Contact # is 516-345-4555. Leave & spell name, email address, and phone number SLOWLY. Only serious applicants may apply. We are looking to meet a festival submission deadline of Sept. 27th. If you're a hard working, no nonsense type who are hungry for action and want to make it big, we want to hear from you.
Apply to: Anonymous, 516-345-4555

***PRODUCER WANTED FOR SHORT FILM***

We need a producer to put together a film crew for our upcoming production. The pay is not great, but we will give you enough money to allow 1 person on your production to be paid a fair rate. The rest of the resources to you will be in the form of a contribution from a couple of our corporate sponsors. That's right, Wonder Bread and Oscar Meyer have generously agreed to supply you with all the white bread and balogna that you will need to see this production through. I will leave it up to you to decide how you would like to distribute the wealth... that is, the fair salary for a single person and all these raw materials for sandwiches.

[s12512]

Originally Posted by soundfx

$100 and a meal!!!!!! Pretty soon these jokers are going to ask to be paid for the privilege of working on their "high profile" projects.

Eek. Those ads should go in the "bend over" section. Gruudge

and no grease!!

[bcgood]

My question: Is it because the economy is so bad that some poor sap that just graduated from college and is looking for experience actually accepts these jobs?

[DaKid]

Originally Posted by tsvisser

Hi Rosalie,

I am a sound guy, in fact my friends would call me quite well put together. Not to brag or anything, but my lav is well put together - actually my whole kit is actually quite sound. These girls that you wish me to lav, let me tell you, I can lav them all night long. 6 hours is just a warm up for me. I was a bit surprised when you asked for 5 girls to be lav'd simultaneously, the most I've ever done before was two. Whenever I allow myself to daydream, sometimes I think of lav'ing 3 girls at the same time. When I heard that you wanted 5 girls lav'd, it just blew my mind. Why had I never thought of this? Why is someone else asking for it to be done? I don't even know if it is possible, but someone has obviously thought this through, and knowing nothing else, I am your guy. I will lav them. $50, although only paying me the gas money for me to come to your place, with my lav, the opportunity alone to be the one to do the lav'ing... it is history, it is art, it is a dream, a once in a lifetime chance to prove to the world, to destroy the naysays of the naysayers. You and I, with your vision, my lav, we will lav all 5 gorgeous women simultaneously and for $50. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.

LOL

Classic.