Live sound gig(warning LONG post)

[Hope209]

So my friend who I've been recording for the past year is having this recital/musical thing for her piano and voice students this saturday and hired me to do the live sound for it for 200 bucks. She asked me to do it last month and I said sure, but I don't have:a PA, monitors, or wireless mics. She said that's fine.

Last week rolls around(they rehearse tuesdays and thursdays) and I go down to their practice space which is an old clothing store space in a mini-mall. It's pretty small and I watched the whole performance and decided what I would need. I couldn't make it on thursday because I didn't feel well and before I go in on tuesday I ask what they have and she tells me they want five mics but they already have three wireless and a PA. So I bring a couple mics but when I get there she forgets to tell me that her PA only has three channels...one of which is being used by her cd player. Shit. The wireless mics are cheapo Vocalign(????) and they don't have any clips large enough to fit them. She is absolutely adamant about the mics being setup for the girls(who apparently have the intelligence of cows and can only find their spots on stage by the mic they need to stand in front of). So I quickly toss up my two mics as she's freaking out and yelling and won't stop or let me setup anything and test it. I have 2 minutes to hook everything up because she runs the show like Mussolini. It could have been worse. She then kicks everyone out of the rehearsal space the minute the show ends so I don't have a chance to run through anything or test stuff.

Today(thursday, the "show" is this saturday night) I go to GC to get fat clips for the wireless mics, rent a PA system from another local music store($90), run back to my house to get my XLR snake, rush to the rehearsal space and I have 30 minutes to set up. It turns out they are POS and they won't stop feeding back and they just sound awful. Shit again. Luckily I brought some 57's but since we had been connecting the wireless transmitters to the PA I didn't bring extra XLR cables. So I go to the music store down the street and buy 3 20' mic cables($50) and make it back with 7 minutes to set up. I quickly do some gain staging and get the mics setup. As they run through the show the sound gets more and more muddy and I can't figure out what's going on. Then REVERB is suddenly on the kareoke tracks. WTF?? I quickly check all of the settings on the PA trying to track down where the reverb is coming from and I can't figure it out. Also, the annoying high pitched whine from the cd player is getting louder. Did I mention that none of the kids know how to sing into a mic? And since they're 57's not singing straight into them doesn't help things. We eventually have to stop the show and it turns out this cheap-ass cd player has an echo knob on it and even though it is turned all the way off it's still kicking in...Also running it from RCA to 1/4' is mucking up the sound. So after they're down performing I get a chance to run across the street to get an RCA-RCA cable so it can go into the TAPE IN on the PA. I also get my friend's cd player. VOILA problem solved.

I get home and am tired, have a headache, and am generally burnt out. Not 15 minutes after I get home this woman leaves a message on my voice mail saying that today and tuesday were absolutely terrible and she and the kids are really dissapointed and worried about how saturday is going to be. She went on to say that the kids are doing a great job but the sound is awful. She said that she asked me to do it because I was her friend but if I'm not up to do job I should tell her so she can find someone else to do it. Did I mention she said I was doing a half-assed job?

Sorry about the disgustingly long post but I'm just thought I'd vent a bit here. Right now she is using:5 of my mic stands, 4 of my mics, 1 12 channel snake, 5 mic cables, a PA, two monitors, and two of my power strips. I won't be a total dick and take all my stuff back, but after busting my balls and rushing around all day just to be insulted and reprimanded by this woman was too much. What would you guys do in this situation?

[KingUgly]

Pick up your stuff tomorrow and move on. She is the problem and even if you do a good job on Saturday, it sounds like she won't be satisfied. Get out of there with your dignity while you can.

[lefthando]

Maybe you should copy you post from above and paste it into an email addressed to her, then send it off.

Things probably couldn't get any worse and at least she'd have a clue what you HAVE done for her.

[audibell]

Don't pick up your gear until after the gig, you made a committment and you can see this through. I've had this same situation where the "talent" failed to do a couple of things herself, and blamed everything that went wrong on me, including the air conditioning, her nervous and almost mute children and the too loud jazz combo in a 4 second reverb cathedral; oh, did I mention waiting an hour outside until the verger came and unlocked the space 30 minutes before show time?

So, firstly understand that these friends cease to be friends when they hire you to do anything, so customers are always right until they bitch unreasonably.
You assumed too much by relying on what she said she had which she believed to be adequate - never assume the client's gear works or even exists - she told you what she needed which your first visit - good move - would have confirmed. Resist all protests to use the client's gear unless it's worth more than a Porsche - be independent always, even if you have to leave most of it in the car under blankets.

You have to tap these harrassed director-types gently on the arm and tell them you need five minutes to set levels and take the brightest-looking kid and have 'em scratch each mic basket; the kids love it and the teachers focus on what they forgot to bring instead of you. Use duct tape to secure cables on the floor or the grandmothers will trip and sue you - ie you'll never work in this town again - also tape the power cords to the wall sockets and you may as well discourage curious fingers playing with the karaoke by taping the various cables so they can't be yanked out except by you. I even tape the mic stands to the floor 'cause twelve year olds love to trip on anything. Beg, borrow another tape/CD player on the assumption that her's won't work on Saturday - you'll be a hero as quickly as you were a bastard -

Have a back-up for everything, even if you lose money on this one - the experience is priceless even if painful.

Make sure you have contact info on little bits of paper for all the kiddies whose parents will want to hear the recording you're going to make of this gig - they'll gladly pay 10 bucks to hear little Suzie warbling into your Tascam 2-track cassette or better. You might as well make something from this angst-session. Don't worry, your friendship won't be over if it's not perfect, nothing ever is and the relief she'll feel once it's all over will calm the troubled waters - but don't bail on her now or be uncooperative, even though your feelings have been well smacked - she's under loads of pressure - maybe even her job if she's a teacher.

Make sure you can get a clean signal on everything and record it to prove to her later; maybe the mud is ac and reverb in the room though it's probably too much PA gain, turn it lower than she wants and turn a speaker to reflect some sound towards the kids.
Try and have fun.
WT