What to do about girlfriend "borrowing" my guitar?

[Shlomo]

Tonight, I came home from work and noticed my sorta-junky nylon string acoustic guitar was missing from its stand. I asked my sleeping girlfriend where it was and she said "Oh, I loaned it to my brother."

It DID used to be hers. She was going to throw it away when she moved, so I asked her for it. I cleaned it up, put on new strings, and took good care of it for almost a year. I think that qualifies it as mine, not a joint possession.

Am I wrong to be mad that she didn't ask my permission? I hate being an arse about stuff like this, but c'mon--what's next? Loaning out my Moog? Letting her Mom borrow my car? Selling off my gear???

I hope the prozac starts working soon.

[doorknocker]

It could be worse. A long time ago I borrowed a great 70ies Telecaster Custom from my guitar teacher. After a while I bought a Les Paul and since he wasn't in a hurry to get the Tele back I gave it to a 'friend' to try out with the idea of handing it back to the owner within a month or so.

Time moved on, I didn't hear from the 'friend' and sort of forgot about the guitar. At some point I visited another mutual friend of ours and spotted the Tele in a corner. I was a bit surprised that my 'friend' seemed to have loaned him a guitar which clearly wasn't his or that's what I thought..... The catch? He SOLD the guitar to the guy! Naturally I was giving hell and threatening violence to my dear 'friend' and he was pretty fast in paying back the other guy then.....

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

[mhartman]

If it was her's first, I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Maybe this is a good excuse for you to buy something better? Whatever you do, if you like the girl, be cool. If you don't like the girl, steal some of her shoes and lend them to your sister (or 2nd girlfriend). She'll get the idea.

[fraz]

Haven't you learnt yet that what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers?

[pan60]

what do you like the most, her or the guitar?
if you buy a guitar just make it clear it is not to be loaned out.

[artbeat77]

Originally Posted by fraz

Haven't you learnt yet that what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers?

Truer words...

[AdamJay]

tell her you don't mind her loaning out the guitar, but she has to take the strings off before she loans it out.

you DID buy the strings.

[stellar]

^ yeah....that won't piss her off or anything...

Boundries. Clearly defined boundries.







D

[Shlomo]

Originally Posted by AdamJay

tell her you don't mind her loaning out the guitar, but she has to take the strings off before she loans it out.

you DID buy the strings.

Haha! That does sound like something I'd do.

This girl's a keeper though; not worth losing over a guitar (one of 8 crappy guitars that I own). She already felt bad about it, before I even mentioned it. Her brother is the one who whined his way into borrowing it. I'm not really mad at her anymore. But I will think of something to "borrow" from her brother to get even. [...probably not, but it's cathartic to think about.]

[donsolo]

if she does it again give her any one of the things found on dirty-proverbs.com

most common, donkey punch or dirty sanchez

She owes you

[Rob King]

I remember I lent a D112 Mic to an Old friend (15+ years) he had it for months, I asked for it back and he told me he sold it because he was broke. I actually laughed..What a moron! 3 months later he finally bought me a new one. That was the last time I ever lent anything out. Just thought I'd share the story. This thread reminded me of it.

[Ricky]

Lend her car to one of your mates and when she spins just say, Oh I'm sorry i thought that was how we did things in this relationship.

[magnuspater]

i think the key words in this little misunderstanding are:

1. "sorta-junky nylon string acoustic guitar"
2. "used to be hers"
3. "one of 8 crappy guitars that I own"

you're out of line for tripping over a sorta-junky guitar (one of 8 crappy ones that you own) that used to be hers. it's not a vintage martin hd-28, you didn't buy it, and it's not a moog. it is what it is: a cheap guitar, one of eight.

now if you had 8 girlfriends and 1 guitar, the situation would be different (i mean, i wouldn't want to give up my only guitar! ). but since it's the other way around, i would explain to her how i feel about my instruments and suggest to her that she ask me before lending out my stuff. i'm sure she wouldn't get upset to a reasonable request like that.

[Dirty Halo]

Originally Posted by magnuspater

i think the key words in this little misunderstanding are:

1. "sorta-junky nylon string acoustic guitar"
2. "used to be hers"
3. "one of 8 crappy guitars that I own"

you're out of line for tripping over a sorta-junky guitar (one of 8 crappy ones that you own) that used to be hers. it's not a vintage martin hd-28, you didn't buy it, and it's not a moog. it is what it is: a cheap guitar, one of eight.

now if you had 8 girlfriends and 1 guitar, the situation would be different (i mean, i wouldn't want to give up my only guitar! ). but since it's the other way around, i would explain to her how i feel about my instruments and suggest to her that she ask me before lending out my stuff. i'm sure she wouldn't get upset to a reasonable request like that.

Yeah! Why can't it be 8 girlfriends and one guitar... I could handle that. What more does a man need? No loaning the girfriends out though...especiallly to a brother!

Pretty funny thread.

-a

[InfidelSix]

Originally Posted by fraz

Haven't you learnt yet that what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers?

Yep, that's what my wife says.

Seriously, I wouldn't make a big deal of it. You could tell her that you would have a problem if she loaned out something that was "yours" yours. Ya know, just to probe for a reaction.

[bit mangler]

Guys,

This one calls for a man-law errrr. gear-law

[donsolo]

here's my proposal

If the gear costs more than a date, your girlfriend's not allowed to borrow it.

If the gear costs more than your last vacation, your wife has to put out every night between red scares to borrow it.

[max cooper]

Originally Posted by Shlomo

It DID used to be hers. She was going to throw it away when she moved, so I asked her for it. I cleaned it up, put on new strings, and took good care of it for almost a year. I think that qualifies it as mine, not a joint possession.

Girlfriends can do that. It's legal. They have all kinds of rights. You just gotta be ok with it.

Petty stuff can really get in the way of having a good thing, so I say forget it.