Welcome to the real world.
Look at the shite Chet Haze (Actor Tom Hanks's son) is putting out. If his dad was a working stiff, he wouldn't smell a studio.
You have to understand, you chose a route where there are 1000's + applicants for very few jobs.
I am glad I went to college to learn a marketable non- music related skill, I suggest you find a back-up plan.
Don't mean to be hash, but I have seen too many lives wasted in this business waiting for a train that will 99% likely never arrive.
I am very satisfied with my gear and what I get out of it.
Just keep playing and doing your thing and find joy in it.
DSI MEK, DSI Prophet '08, Yamaha DX-7, Roland Gaia, Roland Alpha Juno 1, Arturia MiniBrute, Korg Monotribe, Yamaha AN1x, Korg X-50
Ibanez Artcore A85 JazzBox, Ibanez SZR720BB, 1989 Gibson Les Paul Standard, 1981 Gibson ES-335, 1986 Fender JapStrat.
Roland RE-201 Space Echo, MXR Carbon Copy Delay, MXR Analog Stereo Chorus, Digitech RP-1000 MFX
Amps: Fender HR Deluxe 112, Peavey KB100
Zoom HD16 Hardware Recorder, Cubase 5, Yamaha HS50m Monitors