Making a Record is E A S Y!!!!

[dbbubba]

My mom AND mother-in-law have each bought recording rigs and are each doing their first record projects. With all of the software, MIDI, amp modeling, beat detective stuff and technology my mom rocks ass! I mean she had never played a musical instrument in her life and she's releasing a CD already! She bi-passed the demo stage and just decided that everything sounded so good that she might as well just do a full 12 song CD. She heard that most people do this these days. She feels that all of the talented twelve-year-olds who got a computer for Christmas are getting the jump on her.

My mother-in-law heard my mom's rough mixes and I guess that she got jealous because she bought a rig, too! She even asked my wife to talk to my mom about them doing a possible tour!

My wife has a degree in music from a prestigeous music school and her first instrument was voice with piano as her second instrument. She offered some vocal lessons, but they are too busy for stuff like that.

They spend hours mixing because their productions average at least 150 tracks each and quite a few have OVER 200 tracks! A few cuts have 200 vocal tracks alone! One cut of my mom's has 50 tambourine tracks! There is a different tambourine for each verse, chorus and bridge plus they are stacked. In some places she doesn't actually play the tambourine, but holds it real close to the mic in order to capture the ambience of the wood. It actually does creat a lot of tension because you feel like the cut would explode at the chorus if the tambourine actually came in there. You actually anticipate the tambourine for the entire cut waiing for it to be played, but it never is. This is where my mom's genius shows.

I'm thinking about managing them. Usually it's the dad whoring out his teenage daughter (wait.. it was Britney's mom) but I figure that it'll work flipped around. I also figure that they'll be easier to manage because they won't be sleepiing with the lead singer from the opening act. I will have to hire a lot of dancers to distract from the fact that they are completely talentless. The dancers are all gay, so even though they will think they are good looking, they probebly won't sleep with or get stupid and marry one of them! Hopefully. They also have their drinking years way behind them. They say that their generation barely ever even heard of pot and that no-one they knew smoked it exceot for my dad's friend, but he died in a car wreck when he was twenty. My dad said that the guy once jumped off of a balconey at a church on a dare and broke his ankle. Sounds like a cool guy... too bad he died because I bet he'd make a good monitor mixer.

I talked to my mom about helping her track some vocals, but although she only has GarageBand that came on an iMac she got for Christmas she said that she would only work in an SSL room! Actually, she was more concerned about catering and also wanted to change all of the furniture at my house where my studio is. She also said somethings about how there was too much sunlight and we'd have to put up really heavy black out drapes.

She did cash in a lot of her pension and buy a ELAM 251 because she heard that all of the chick singers use them. Those are hard to find on the market, so hopefully my mother-in-law won't get jealous over that! She isn't going to settle for a re-issue either! You know, mom's who live off of dad's pension don't really mind spending the cash for gear like an ELAM 251 or a Fairchild compressor. If you think about it a Caddilac is more expensive than a Fairchild! They could sell the house and buy their own SSLs!

Danny Brown

[Ruudman]

I have exactely the same experience with my mom.
What's going on here?

And my daughter's going to art school, makes me the only stable figure in my family - the solid rock. I don't want to be that!!!
I'm the black sheep, the stray cat, the wild thing; I'm rock'n roll for CS, not some anchor in our lives!!

ruudman

[tedcrop]

Hey has your mom sent her stuff in?

[blaugruen7]

i am glad to hear that i am not alone.
short story:
i have started playing clarinet with 9.
with 17 switched to tenor saxophone.
i have studied jazz with tenor saxophone as main instrument.
i am 32.
and now it comes:
my mom has never studied tenor saxophone, but she sounds like she is the teacher
of john coltrane.

she is living at musical places his deepest feelings where never dreaming of.

the ****ing final truth is marching out of her horn.
its unbeliveable.

[cdog]

Originally Posted by dbbubba

One cut of my mom's has 50 tambourine tracks!

Danny Brown

Sweet, I can't wait to hear that one!

[davedarling]

my dog is up for a grammy

[Riad]

I have a gopher in the studio right now producing his second polka album. You might not realize that gopher's are really into polka but they are.

He's nominated for a Grammy. I hope he doesn’t win because it will go right to his head, and he's already difficult to work with.

[rvwainscott]

Wow, I was really starting to worry because I didn't know it was that easy and I thought all my clients were crazy because they kept telling me that a 15 song CD could be completed in only a day. Silly me, I actually thought some of them needed professional help because they believed that award winning music just somehow fell from the sky but it was me that was wrong - everything is soooo easy!

I'm not gonna even bother to try and mix anymore. When the time for that comes, I will just kinda wave my arms around and it will all be done to perfection - how easy is that!

BTW, I'm not even typing with my fingers - computers are easy!

Robert V. Wainscott
Full Clip Audio

[abit]

[Eric Greedy]

my son a few weeks shy of four years old... earning his first paid playing credit.

[dbbubba]

They look like they are probebly playing those tambourines instead of allowing the silence to build.

DB

[dbbubba]

Man..... was I on a roll or what?
I just re-read it and I'd forgot everything I had typed.

It has kind of a Jack Kerouak, stream of conciousness, speed freak style don't it?

I'm serious, EVERYONE has a a studio now that GarageBand is bundled with every Mac.

For almost TWENTYFIVE yeras I used to patiently and proudly explain my engineering/producing job to people.
Now they tell me that they are recording engineers and producers before they even ask what I do!

Strangers ask me to roll down my window in traffic just to tell me that they produce CDs!

OK, I'll stop now.

Danny Brown

[beanstalk40]

LOL! Funny thread...

[fumble]

So everyone's a comedian now? Just the other day my mum started telling jokes after getting a new Mac. She found them on the internet. Apparently jokes are made in less than five minutes these days in cyberspace. It used to take us a month to finish one funny story and now they're as common as bird shit on a statue.

I'm not complaining because the people need access to humour but when they start trying to do it themselves - coming up with a whole routine in a day (including the use of tambourines in the act) I have to ask myself what has happened to comedy?

I vote we have a guild of comedy where only the fully trained can practice. My mum is getting good but there can only be one joker in this family.