Relationship vs. Studio

[logic]

Ok,
With out getting to sloppy, have any of you ever got dumped, divorced ect…by someone important to you, because of spending to much time or money on gear and being in the studio all the time? How does one deal with that? Is this the way it is when you are this dedicated to you craft?


Hey... Are there any female audio engineers out there?

Kidding...............

[littledog]

We know one in particular, but she lives in England...

[Bob Olhsson]

Have ANY of us NOT!!!

[Dave Martin]

Originally posted by logic
Ok,
With out getting to sloppy, have any of you ever got dumped, divorced ect…by someone important to you, because of spending to much time or money on gear and being in the studio all the time? How does one deal with that? Is this the way it is when you are this dedicated to you craft?

Not me - my wife understands; she's a musician in her own right as well as a partner in the studio.

[renshen]

Nobody I know has survived the first, second, third....going, going, Gone!!!

Renshen

[alphajerk]

no comment.

[C.Lambrechts]

Originally posted by alphajerk
no comment.

right answer

[Midlandmorgan]

dumped/divorced, etc? No...had sanity questioned...oh yeah...

She works in the mental health field assessing suicide risk/danger to others for the law enforcement, judicial, and medical communities... so I don't worry about being run off, I worry more about being involuntarity committed to a psych treatment center....

[BevvyB]

I'm still working on finding someone to dump me

[littledog]

One would think that slut-tolerance would be a prime factor in determining life-compatability. After all, we are who we are, and in choosing a life mate we need someone who respects what we do, especially when it is so tied up in the essence of who we are.

in that respect i guess i am very fortunate. my significant other (for over 10 years) has been known to say things like "seems like we haven't bought any cool gear lately. what do we need next?"

and no, she's not a musician or engineer (teaches playwrighting, theatrical director, and web-master at Harvard).

not bragging. i just appreciate how lucky i am, and want to give others hope that such relationships are possible...

[Curious G]

Originally posted by littledog
..."seems like we haven't bought any cool gear lately. what do we need next?"...

I read this to my wife and she said "yeah, right. Is this like the fantasy wife thread?"

She's put up with it for 16 years so far though!

[mobilejoe]

That sucks man. I am also one of the lucky ones who found a person who is able to live with the demands of my job. The only words of advice I can offer is to find someone who is as independent as you are. Like Curious G, my wife has endured 13 years of me being gone 6-7 entire days per week. But she takes care of our 5 (yes 5) kids. I work so she can do what she likes to do which is be at home with them. So many of my friends, clients, fellow industy folk and so on are experiencing what you are. Hang in dude. You'll find somebody. It will most likely be the last person that would expect it to be.

[Steve Smith]

Originally posted by slipperman
I could write a book.

I won't do that to you guys.... I like it here.

HOHOHO.

Best to all.

SM.

Write away ( just dont make us read it... )

[dave-G]

Originally posted by littledog
One would think that slut-tolerance would be a prime factor in determining life-compatability. After all, we are who we are, and in choosing a life mate we need someone who respects what we do, especially when it is so tied up in the essence of who we are.

I'd add to this thought that while this work we do may be at the essence of who we are, and indeed finding someone who is tolerant of our time-demanding careers is a good start ... IMO it's hard to expect a relationship (even with such a tolerant person) to survive this lifestyle long-term without some mitigation of the gearslut's sluttiness. I think that sticking too closely to the "I am what I am" argument is a formative ingredient in many a divorce.

For example, learning to manage the risks/rewards in deciding when to put-off a client in favor of your family versus when to put-off your family in favor of a client is, in my opinion, much more important a skill than most of the skills we'll use in an average recording session, and perhaps a secret key to maintaining long term happiness when you go home at night (or in the morning )

Of course, YMMV, but do take this FWIW, spoken as the new-dad I am, having once come close to losing it all. ... As an added bonus, I now enjoy my work more than I ever did when I was killing my personal life to get it done.

-dave