Why most recording engineers suck...

[Jaques Beraques]

Originally Posted by Sqye

hilarious. i second that - maybe lo-end theory mod?

.

I think a "Business;how to run a studio and make your clients happy and stay in peace with the rest of the world,especially engineers;sub-forum" is ,now that we have him, demanded.

[Sk106]

Originally Posted by thermos

become rich and famous! Otherwise, there is absolutely no validity to what you do.

Eh? Since when is music a choice for anyone wanting to become rich and famous? if that's the target, then go into stock- or real estate business.

[Mr.HOLMES]

Originally Posted by nickynicknick

James...you're makin' yourself look bad...c'mon.

James fantastic this could be a slapstick!!!!
Go on I can not stop to laugh!!!!

[noiseflaw]

Originally Posted by James Meeker

I can see some of the threads now!

Guest: How do you achieve that singular guitar tone?

Blackened: First off you have to be God and live and breathe metal, even while wallowing in the blackest pits of despair. Note that aforementioned wallowing must not be done in gothic or emo pits of despair, but the blackest of metal pits of despair!

Guest: Ummm, okay...

Blackened: Then you must sit in front of the SSL, in defiance of Eddie Van Halen and all that is holy, and contemplate the futility of making records that the unwashed masses cannot comprehend. Only when you have reached the proper levels of nihilism can you proceed.

Guest: What does this have to do about getting guitar sound?

Blackened: Hold your tongue fool, this is just another example of the weak trying to destroy the strong! If you had any vision or understanding of what it truly means to be metal you wouldn't have to ask such questions?

Guest: Okay, moving along now--what mics are you using?

Blackened: I only use dynamic microphones because they are the most dynamic sounding mics. As metal is the most blasphemous and dynamic music this is appropriate. Condenser mics by their design condense the sound. This is why all other music sounds puny compared to mine, condenser mics! Plus phantom power robs a sound of any true metal tone.

Guest: Interesting, how do you approach equalization of your guitar tracks?

Blackened: I make ample use of the SSL I sit in front of in a most metal fashion. I always set the EQ on the console for a plus 15 decibel boost on the six kilohertz shelf band. This is the crux of the 'buzzing bee' tone that is oh-so uber-metal. Then I follow this up by cutting everything under four hundred kilohertz by 15 decibels on the low shelf. This sets the stage for establishing the ice pick attack.

Guest: Wow, that's some pretty radical EQ!

Blackened: That's nothing. Then I route each guitar track to the SSL's matrix and assign it to a new channel where I boost the top end by another 15 decibels and cut the low end by another 15 decibels. Sometimes if the metal has to really cut through I'll do this three or four times!

Guest: Wow, that explains a lot....

Blackened: If your feeble mind can understand what I'm even elucidating. I suspect you're one of those weak, un-metal recording engineers barely able to understand how we are all slaves in this world of depraved conformity. In fact, you are unworthy to even gape in awe at my presence.... In fact, you're lucky I don't beat you senseless with my bullet belt, you whining welp!

[subject immediately gets up, picks up his Squire Strat and Gorilla amplifier, throwing devil horns and storms out of the room]

I'm sorry for posting this quote again - it is just the funniest part of the whole thread!

[octatonic]

I vote for a new forum called "Ignorant dumb f*cks bleating about unimportant shite"

Blackened can be mod.

BTW is Blackened actually Blender?

[plexisys]

FS or FT: SSL 9000J for Mackie. I will pay extra if the Mackie has scratchy pots and bad faders.

I have realized what I was doing wrong. Thank you Blackened and EVH. I have seen the light.

[Sqye]

Originally Posted by Jaques Beraques

I think a "Business;how to run a studio and make your clients happy and stay in peace with the rest of the world,especially engineers;sub-forum" is ,now that we have him, demanded.

lol...+1...

.

[Sqye]

Originally Posted by Sk106

Eh? Since when is music a choice for anyone wanting to become rich and famous? if that's the target, then go into stock- or real estate business.

but....but.....that's what the idiot box / mtv cribs tells us nonstop.....no? .....

you're shattering my dreams here - WAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

.

[thermos]

Originally Posted by Sk106

Eh? Since when is music a choice for anyone wanting to become rich and famous? if that's the target, then go into stock- or real estate business.

Sarcasm, my friend. Sarcasm.

[Sk106]

Originally Posted by thermos

Sarcasm, my friend. Sarcasm.

Geh
This thread is getting to me

[noiseflaw]

[Kronos147]

I think Blackend's ePenis needs a firmware update.

[Sk106]

Originally Posted by nickynicknick

James...you're makin' yourself look bad...c'mon.

Yeah, thought that was a bit low too. Anything can made fun of, so .. where's the point?

[James Meeker]

Originally Posted by Sk106

Yeah, thought that was a bit low too. Anything can made fun of, so .. why pick the easiest target

Because he deserved it.

Because it was right there.

Because it was funny.

Because I can get away with it.

[RonCarlston]

Originally Posted by Sk106

Yeah, thought that was a bit low too. Anything can made fun of, so .. where's the manhood in picking the easiest target

Oh cmon. I stood up for the guy and his argument about most engineers being doosh nozzles...but that music is just comedy gold waiting to be mined.

[blackened]

Well very impressive! These are the kind of idiots on the scene mixing peope's records these days! As a matter of fact, I will personally make a point to blacklist every one of you mother****ers who are talking shit if you want to play that game... No musician will have respect for any engineer that is willing to say shit like that about another musician.

This loser from Lava already earned himself a place in history... I will personally make sure that no musician will ever end up at your studio. All I would have to do is post what you wrote on Google. Remember genius, you are in business... I'm not.

There is a difference between attacking an open generalized discussion about unnamed recording engineers, and those same people attacking someone else's artistic vision. I absolutley made some generalizations about engineering, all of which unfortunately are true.

Remember, what you write online sometimes lives in eternity! If some of the bands out there heard what I am saying... and heard what you are saying about my band... believe me you guys would be out of business... that is assuming you have any customers anyway. This thread can get ugly if you want it to, believe me. You have no idea who I am.

Julian

[RonCarlston]

SO YOU GUYS WANNA GO DOWN?!!?! DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF SODOM??? stikestikestike -Blackened

[Sk106]

Originally Posted by James Meeker

Because he deserved it.

Because it was right there.

Because it was funny.

Because I can get away with it.

Meaning you would welcome anyone doing the exact same to you, because you deserved it, because you put it right there, because it's funny, and he can get away with it?

[RonCarlston]

Originally Posted by blackened

believe me you guys would be out of business... that is assuming you have any customers anyway. This thread can get ugly if you want it to, believe me. You have no idea who I am.

Julian

im asking you, PLEASE report EVERYTHING ive said to your connections. Bring me into the depths of sodom please i need to feel the darkness.

[RawBeanZen]

I've never hit "refresh" so many times in one day in my life.

Every time I think this thread can't get any better, it just....DOES.

Awesome.

[James Meeker]

Originally Posted by Sk106

Meaning you would welcome anyone doing the exact same to you, because you deserved it, because you put it right there, because it's funny, and he can get away with it?

Absolutely.

[James Meeker]

Hrm.

[Sk106]

Originally Posted by James Meeker

Absolutely.

lol ... cynicism is a poor substitute for intelligence

So he made a post, very likely in anger and not all thought through. I do that sometimes, you do that sometimes, everybody does that sometimes. So, what's the big deal about this?

He says that's what he feels about things, and most people have no problems with anyone saying he feels differently and retorts to that - even agressively.

But what most find utterly amusing, is someone who can't make a valid point back to his accusations - if you could, you would - but instead does exactly the same he did: spends notable time and effort to "compose" a mockery of someone who you obviously feel is such a total waste of time in the first place; really legitimizing his accusations. Don't tell us you don't care And then sit there thinking to yourself that you're so above him, being all sarcastic about it too :D

That is low. It's lower than him. Most people learned to identify and lost the respect for people with that sort of cynic double standard BS at 15 years old. So "nickynicknick" was right, you did make yourself look bad, you definitely proved to alot here that you don't belong among the higher ranks. Without long and good experience in cool self-examination, you won't have gained the usefulness for demanding tasks

[Jaques Beraques]

Originally Posted by RonCarlston

im asking you, PLEASE report EVERYTHING ive said to your connections. Bring me into the depths of sodom please i need to feel the darkness.

+1

[noiseflaw]

Originally Posted by blackened

I absolutley made some generalizations about engineering, all of which unfortunately are true.

And it is this kind of 'absolute' statement that is adding wood to your own intellectual and dogmatic pyre.


Let it go.


Stop picking the sore.

[James Meeker]

Hrm.....

[narcoman]

Originally Posted by blackened

This thread can get ugly if you want it to, believe me. You have no idea who I am.

Julian

um.

yes we do. As someone who works with bands from all rungs of the ladder, I can tell you - most bands will just laugh at ya. What they'll say to your face is VERY different to the back stabbing nature this self preserving industry has. I play fair - but man - you have really set yourself up.

And remember - you started it.

[blackened]

Come on James... you appear smarter than that. You represent the studio where you work at. I work at a studio, and so do I. I'm starting to think you and I could be friends! A matter of fact... why do you take such offense to anything I said? It's really not like I was referring to you in my original post!

Listen man, most of these posts are a joke. Some are serious. Some make good points. The studio scene is a drag these days because of this type of shit. The whole music scene is shit these days on top of that. So, I hope this thread has taught some disrespectful people that the artist is at your mercy and bands should get their money's worth.

Remember, the post was called "Why most recording engineers suck..."

And now we know why.

Julian

MySpace.com - Blackened Heart - Dallas, Texas - Metal / Metal / Metal - www.myspace.com/blackenedheart

[RonCarlston]

I bet tomorrow when i go out to get in my truck 3 dudes on horseback with swords and painted faces mow me down




i should have listened to him...

[Karloff70]

Have to say the initially marvellous spectacle has now peaked for me and is rapidly dropping into undignified travesty all round.......

The comedy level early on was of great quality, but come on guys........ship's taking in water, it's definitely going down and only whoever has the biggest need to be the captain will go with it..........