figuring out what you want in life

[joelpatterson]

These are tricky, touchy questions where the soul comes into play first and foremost.

It's alot "easier" if you're secretly obsessed with one thing or another, because then just naturally you tend to focus every waking moment on this thing, you put yourself in situations where you meet the people who can help you out, you take the risks you know you must...

Being uncertain leads you to kind of drift through things, not really take chances, not really stake out challenges that can be won or lost.

I don't know what the answer is. I'd guess (although this could be one of those cheery cliches) that there really is something you would greatly dig to be doing, there's no end of stories of people stumbling into the most unlikely career paths and suddenly blooming into their full potential. There are people who sail around the world. I would have no idea how to even begin to do that. You'd need a boat, obviously. You'd need... a map? Permission to land at a port? I have no idea how any of that works, and yet people do it, it must be possible.

The tough love approach would be to quit your "job" (which sounds like some kind of survivalist tactic you've settled on) and start pursuing your musical hobby like your life depended on it, which it suddenly will. But then, this is just my whiskey talking, and even though it worked for me....

[Sonsey@mac.com]

Hey Goatie...

I can relate... I drifted through MANY different areas of the audio world (musician, engineer, salesman) before settling down here in post... and I was 30 when that actually happened!

A couple of things...

First...Don't beat yourself up... as hard as that can be, I know... A wise man once said that every experience has a purpose if only to say "I'll never do THAT again" All those "dead ends" may later turn out to have been JUST the experience you need for whatever it is you end up doing.

Second... the best advice I ever got was that if you don't know what it is you want (and lots of us don't) then say "I want to KNOW what I want". Without getting all metaphysical, if you set out to find out WHAT you want odds are you will find it. And it may be something totally different from what you do now... Or it may be just off to the side from where you are now...

If you can ask the question (as you're doing now)... you're probably on the path to finding out! This is not a "it'll all work out in the end" speech - if you're serious about finding out what you do want, you'll have to work at finding it each and every day.

Finally, realize that what you REALLY TRULY WANT TODAY may not be what you want in 5, 10 or 20 years. That's okay too...We all grow and change, and sometimes our wants and needs change with us.

[henryrobinett]

I've never really had that problem. But what I can suggest is to be dedicated to whatever you do. If you don't dedicate yourself to excelling in whatever it is you're doing, you're not giving yourself a fair shake to know whether you really are good at it or enjoy it. If you are a slacker you have slacker guilt or leave things f***ed up and don't want to be around your own mistakes.

When I was in high school I had worked so dizzyingly hard on my guitar that there was little question of what I would do.

You want former employers or people in positions of some power of influence to feel good about you. They can help and recommend you regardless what direction you take.

I guess ultimately to me it doesn't matter what a person decides to do. Just that whatever you do, do it well. If you do it well I think doors will open. If you're careless, unfocused, untrustworthy - that kind of news travels fast. Sometimes it seems to be xeroxed on your forehead.

[Henchman]

Before you quit your job, figure out what you want to do.
Also, are you in the right place to achieve what you want to achieve.

But until you figure out what you want to do in life, you're just spinning your wheels.
And buying more gear isn't going to change that.

[RadioBox]

Have you explored interests other than audio?

Perhaps audio is meant to be your escape from life, and not your lifestyle.

I got burned out from the search, started to explore other interests, and soon realized there's things I'd rather be doing than working in a studio. Things that don't take nearly the same kinds of sacrifices, and leave me with a much better sense of fulfillment.

You won't find yourself if you aren't looking in the right places, and if you open your mind to other things, you may be surprised to find out that what you really want isn't what you've been chasing. You may also return with more focus than ever before if you do some searching and realize that music is in fact the only thing you can see yourself doing with your life.

[henryrobinett]

Production is related to morale. If you're feeling depressed do something. If you haven't produced much of anything you tend to feel like shit. And the more you don't do the more shitty and worthless you tend to feel. Those who really work hard to produce great things tend not to be depressive personalities.

Produce something -- work in a garden. Clean your studio. Produce something in the studio for someone for free and do a bang up job. Complete a song and produce it really well. Play it for people. Get in a better state before you make any decisions.

[DontLetMeDrown]

Your situation reminds me of a friend. In the last 6 years he has been a drummer, a photographer, and a repair man. Each required a significant investment on his part. He get impatient when his new business doesn't explode right away and decides he needs to do something else.

The important thing to remember is that you can always start over at any point in time-- as long as your finances don't crash and burn. You can always start another recording studio when you turn 60.

[goatie]

Thanks for your help guys!

Sometimes I wonder, to find out what you really want to do, would it be a good idea to imagine you have won the lottery?
If you did win, you would do what you really wanted to do ... no?

Anyway, thanks again!

[tonymite]

You sound like youve moddled your life on mine.

Attitude is everything - I'm known as a cynic - while I call it realism ... fine line - especially when you have standards.

Surround yourself with like minded positive people ... Get rid of ' limiting beliefs " u be surprised how much society , the language we use affects our sub-concious ... check out NLP ( Neuro Lingusitic Programming ) for that one.

Also ... self help books / CD's Youtube ... check out ( don't laugh) TOny Robbins , Wayne Dyer , Deepak Chopra ... makes you look at ' success differently.

keep active + meditation ... Chi-Kung Qi Gong / Thai Chi / Sun Do

medicinal doses of recreational drugs ...

ummm ...

Big picture - then break it down in small bite sizes ...


i have yet to implement have the shite im preaching ... but i know it all boils down to attitude.

[joelpatterson]

I have a maybe surprising take on your lottery fantasy.

The people I've known who've come into alot of money but their personalities were slightly at sea... it really brought out the worst. You wouldn't think so... but what happened was, they were free to indulge their laziest and flakiest impulses.

Suddenly, their whims and whimsies were the priorities, you know?

It didn't make them determined to accomplish great things. That determination is not sitting around waiting for a million dollars or anything else, it's busy working with what it's got.



So-- do be careful what you wish for...

[goatie]

I can imagine

Winning the lottery right now wouldn't be the best thing for me at this moment
It would make for a nice studio though

Winning the lottery certainly is not the solution to this problem, I know.

But I don't ask the question to start dreaming about "party everyday, champagne, money for nothing and chicks for free", and so on, not that kind of result (That would get boring after the first week anyway, but that's just me ).

But maybe just ask the question to envision what you would want to do. If you forget the financial worries, maybe it get's easier to find what we want to do, how we want to spend our days? And then, just go do it, without the lottery Don't know ...

[goatie]

...

[tonymite]

I prefer natural hi - and drugs is not the ansewr .. but I don't knock them as a ' catalyst ' ... they can be as good as they are bad - just be careful .

Aint nothin worse than Alcohol for your body.


Look up DMT & ayahuasca on youtube / google . Your Pineal gland produces it every night during REM.

If someone curses your mother and causes adrenalin & cortisol to shoot up into your system ... is that considered ' drugging ' you ? I have come to realise that this sort of stuff is not so black & white ...

but meditation does increase natural morphine / endorphine levels .. as does exercise.

[Sqye]

wait, i'm confused - do i need to figure out what you want in life,
or do you need to figure out what i want in life, or....

...who needs to figure out what who needs in life??..

maybe we should just let the bush administration, cnn and exxon TELL us all
what we need in life...since they've already got a good jump on it...

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