Gearslutz FAQ

[Tibbon]

I'm sure everyone has their favorite cynical answers to commonly asked questions here on GS. Here's mine.

• What recording school should I go to?
  • An internship
• Why don't my mixes sound like CLA's?
  • Because you aren't them
• What is the best mic for vocals?
  • The one that sounds the best? No one mic does it all
• What monitors should I buy?
  • The best ones you can
• I have all of this great gear, and no acoustical treatment, why do my mixes suck?
  • You answered your own question
• How can I make my mixes sound like X?
  • Hire them
• Whats the best way to (insert legal question)
  • Get an attorney
• Which preamp/mic/speakers are better?
  • Just go listen to them! If you can't tell, get a new job.
• What's the best mic for an X voice?
  • That's an artistic decision
• How can I get less digital sounding converters?
  • Use tape instead?
• How can I warm up my mixes?
  • Bake the tape?
• How much should I charge?
  • As much as you can. Calculate your maximum.
• Should I get a sub for my room?
  • No. Not unless doing 5.1. Never.
• How can I make my mixes louder?
  • Don't.
• What piece of gear was used on X?
  • Doesn't matter. Find your own voice. Your miliage WILL vary!
• Where can I get a $200 mic that sounds like a $3000 Mic?
  • You can't. That's why people spend $3000 on some mics!
• What type of computer should I buy?
  • None.
• What piece of gear should I use on this song?
  • Your ears.
• I've never interned, worked in a studio, assisted, or been in a real studio. Why am I having trouble running my own studio?
  • Because you haven't paid your dues.
• How can I make a small fortune with my studio?
  • Start with a very large fortune.
• How can I make my Beatz sound like Dre?
  • You can't. Move on and make them sound like you.
• No really, I need my kick to thump like X!
  • Learn to mix. Track it right the first time.
• How can I fix X in the mix?
  • You can't. Fixing in the mix is fixing never.
• Has anyone ever used (insert piece of gear)?
  • Yes.
• What is the "Golden Chain" for x (generally hip-hop)?
  • There is no one answer. There is no perfect chain for all songs.
• Why did my wife/girlfriend/golden retriever leave me?
  • Just look at those racks of gear behind you.

Of course all of these are true, but tongue in cheek. Love you guys!

[Goliath|Audio]

AMEN Tibbon!

Jules, can we make this a sticky?

[xmostynx]

Originally Posted by Tibbon

[*]Why did my wife/girlfriend/golden retriever leave me?

• Just look at those racks of gear behind you.

[/LIST]Of course all of these are true, but tongue in cheek. Love you guys!

hahahahaha

nobody really knows this but i love my gear more than my girlfriend and my cat

[Tibbon]

Originally Posted by xmostynx

hahahahaha

nobody really knows this but i love my gear more than my girlfriend and my cat

+1

I mean, there's tons of women out there that work well and look great, but how many fully functional and good looking U47s are floating around?

I've probably dated more women than there are clean ARP 2500s out there, and I should admit that just seeing and touching a 2500 in person was a better experience than dating some of those women

[Mudnoc]

Can we make this a sticky and add to the top of all appropriate forums....

[Tibbon]

Originally Posted by Mudnoc

Can we make this a sticky and add to the top of all appropriate forums....

But then without all of these topics that would already be answered... what would we talk about?