thinking of calling it quits..

[rainsinvelvet]

I'm depressed.
Yes.. After engineering / recording sessions pro and simi pro for 13 years now..
I'm thinking its time to hang it up..

I'm currently working a day job that pays good, but I'm burned out on. I'm paying the bills while my wife goes to school. I've got a small child..
My brain is going "is it time to get a real job and give up on these dreams"..

I'm not getting to practice my craft at all. I'm not digging the room I do freelance work out of. I hate hearing my mixes as I drive back to my home late at night.

Maybe it would be a good time to pack everything up and take a year long break.
Re-evaluate my life and see if I still want to strive for something I know I'll never be satisfied with.

Thats where my head is at this very moment.

Anyone found themselves in a similar situation? And how did you resolve it?

Thanks for listening to my downer.

ERic

[Rick Sutton]

Originally Posted by rainsinvelvet

I hate hearing my mixes as I drive back to my home late at night.

Eric,
It ain't easy or always rewarding. It is definitely a long process and you are still in the early to middle stages of that process. It doesn't neccessarily get a whole lot easier but you do gain some perspective as you stay in it.
I picked out that one smalll quote just to say....don't listen to your mixes on the way home late at night, that always leads to 2nd guessing when you are the most tired and most vulnerable. If you listen to anything, put on a distant radio station or something on your Ipod that takes you to a comfortable place, not back to last night's battle.
Listen to your mixes much later when you have some perspective and have had more mixes in between, they will make more sense then...not now.
Balance your family with your recording and both will blossom.
We all go through this, it's just part of the process.
take care,
Rick

[SoundEng1]

Thats one thing i learned the hard way, do not listen to your mixes on your way home!

Listen to them a day or two later.

[Master Tang]

Somewhere there's a postal worker wishing he was driving home from work listening to mixes he had just roughed in.

It's all perspective.

[CKK]

If you feel burned out - that will reflect on the work you do (bad). You cant continue this for very long before the people around you will notice that you are not 100% fit for fight. You will end up without the job - and maybe an invertible discredit in the bussines, making it impossible for you to return to the trade when you are ready for it.

Take a break - do something different for a while. And when you are ready - return strong and hungry.

Good luck m8

[Sugarnutz]

That happened to me also. Worked my butt of in this business, giving up anything that remotely resembled a personal life. After 17 years in the business I had a cool room of my own with a Neve console (first one in Memphis), MCI & Studer tape machines, lots of high-end outboard and microphones, even got a Grammy nomination (didn’t win the Grammy, but won Billboard’s “Best Of” for the record, the sound/feel being mentioned as an attributing factor to the award.), but it was no longer “Fun”! Totally burned out.

I sold out to my partner, got a real job, got married and had a kid. I think I went almost 5 years without even listening to music Went fishing, played with the kid (and my wife), traveled a bunch and learned a lot about computers.

Around 1998-99 DAWs started becoming more powerful and the cheap bedroom studios started coming into popularity. I started playing around with various softwares and kinda digging what was going on. Today I have basically a whole room worth of gear which I don’t really have a place for (my wife reminds me of this almost daily), but my PT rig is portable and I take it to Nashville several times a year to do multitrack editing for a couple of producers I have worked with in the past. I just got back my first “Store Bought” console I ever owned and am starting to restore it, meaning I am going to have to get a room for it and the rest of my stuff.

Taking a break is possibly the best thing you can do considering the way you feel right now. The advantage being that it gives you a fresh perspective on the business, your abilities and what you really want to do. Recording is something that once it gets in your blood, if you’ve ever had any success at it, you will never be able to totally abandon it. It will gnaw at you like a heroin addiction until you feed it again. Just don’t take as long a break as I did (9-10 years), maybe a year or two at the most because the longer you wait, the harder it is to pick up where you left off.

[lowfreq33]

Where I work we often mention the 90/10 theory. That is to say, 90% of the time we work on stuff that we aren't having fun doing, but it beats waiting tables or sitting in some office all day. 10% of the time we work on stuff that we'd gladly do for free, and that makes up for the rest of the time.
Perspective.

[plus6vu]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

Where I work we often mention the 90/10 theory. That is to say, 90% of the time we work on stuff that we aren't having fun doing, but it beats waiting tables or sitting in some office all day. 10% of the time we work on stuff that we'd gladly do for free, and that makes up for the rest of the time.
Perspective.

That reminds me of what I recently told another engineer. I'm finally at a stage in my career (after about 20 years) where I'm working mostly with repeat customers that I like and respect. Mine is a small niche business doing remote work for local orchestras, chamber groups, churches and the like. It's not, and never will be, the "big time", but that's okay because most of what I do, I would do for free if I could afford to.

I've been burned out, fairly recently, but in perspective, I don't know what else I would want to do. I get tired of being low on cash, dealing with the occasional customer with poor planning and the rest of the pitfalls of business, but it beats punching a clock just about anywhere that I can think of.

Scott

[bongo_x]

These guys have some good advice.

I think usually it's a case of looking clearly at what you want. This field can be just a job, or a artistic pursuit, and everything in between. We all have to ask ourselves what we want and what we are willing to give up for it.

There is this prevailing feeling in the air (by that I mean TV) that we all must give it 110% and give up everything to reach some goal. We're all going to be superstars. What if your goal is just to have a good job and live a quiet life?

Some of us may be looking to our work for all our creative, financial, social, and spiritual satisfaction. That might be setting yourself up for failure as much as people who look to their marriage for everything and end up judging their marriage to be a failure.

Are you doing what you want to do, what you think you should be doing, or what you think is expected of you? Maybe you just aren't willing to work that hard and give up that much. Maybe you are but you're not really that good. Maybe you are that good but you're just afraid. All questions we all gotta ask ourselves.

This is not a response to anyone in particular, this is just me rambling...

bb

"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.” - Tyler Durden

[AndrewsLaneRec.]

i get like this sometimes. like right now... studio work is slow, i'm not mixing much for the livesound company i work for.... and to top it off, young kids are relying on mommy and daddies' money to go to audio school.... and it feels like they're surpassing everything you've worked so hard for... oh, and the most recent project im working on is pretty terrible (bad musicianship).... sometimes i feel like calling it quits.

[manofsong]

Did the quit thing. I took 1 year away from audio. Got an unrelated entry-level job, and in 4 years worked my way up through several promotions to a good manager position. However I lurk here nightly, have gear that I'm too tired to use at night, and have the same dreams I had 20 years ago. I might agree with the previous poster's comment of "don't wait too long" -- I've been sucked into the white-collar world, where it can be very satisfying in terms of $ and stability, but soul-less on others. What is best? What is balance? Only you can find out, I do not have the answer yet here.

[Popbott]

Eric,

I am married and have a kid as well. But that has never stopped me from expressing my self as a musician. If anything, having a kid has given me more inspiration.

After my daughter was born, I continued to have my day job did free lance production work on my spare time. I would pick up a few projects here and there for extra cash to buy equipment and feed my lust for gear to better my own personal music projects. The studio world eventually got me down, I was tired of actually being in the studio, tired of dealing with crappy clients, so tired of doing music for other people, so much that I didn't even want to do it for myself anymore. I stopped doing studio work for a while, and started a kick ass all-synth cover band and played live for 3 years on the weekends before taking a break from that and producing another album. I took a whole different approach to music and it gave me another world to look at in music. I am definitely a better musician because of that. I had my daughter and still did all that.

As musicians/producers, I don't think we will ever be satisfied with our work no matter what it is. But it also depends on how you define success in the music world. Selling millions of records - is that being called successful? Man, I am just happy to have the ability and tools to wirte the kind of music I love. I would suggest setting some goals for the new year, achievable ones. If you are unhappy with your room, re-arrange it. If you don't like your mixes, buy a new mixer, get Protools, something, fix the problem. Quit whining about giving up your dreams, just be realistic about them and you will find success on your own terms.

[rainsinvelvet]

Well,
After a few days I'm feeling a bit better. Time will tell if I continue on my quest for audio engineer happiness. I've had some commercial success, but I wonder if I'll ever really be happy with what I'm involved in creating..

Thanks for all the points of view.

To further understand where I'm coming from:
My wife is going through medical school while I work 40 hours a week at my day job. When I'm home my wife is looking for help watching our 1 year old so she can get homework done.. And I play in a band that plays along the west coast a fair bit. All this while I try to get at least 5-10 hrs a week into the studio side of things..

I think what is really happening is that I'm spread too thin and need to decide what is the most important and what dreams can be put on hold..

Ah, life .

ERic

[simonv]

For many of us, working in this business comes from a complex set of passions, dreams and ideals. Nobody really "ends up" becoming a sound engineer like you end up making Excel files in an office. It comes with so much hard work, so much time and so much money, that it's a lot harder to let go from.

But you know what? Why the f**k is it all good for if it makes you unhappy?
You like engineering? Then keep on doing it for the projects that you believe in, whether it be your own work or somebody else's.
If the problem is the money, then do what you have to do to get the money. Find a """""""real""""""" job, but don't let it get to who you are.

When they say "it's a hard business", well you're living IT right now. It's not your fault, it's not a problem with who you are or how you work, it's the way it is.
Now, if you feel like quitting, it means you have to take time to go through a good old depression and go deep down inside to figure out what you expect of life.

Anything is possible. In 3 years from now, if you decide it now, you could be a graduate in geology putting RFID emitters on rocks in a river, remembering those years when you were a sound engineer. It's all up to you.

Changing careers now will never erase what you've did up to now. It is not a failure to change. It's like any relationship. If it's dead, you can either live through it for a lifetime of regret, work on it so that it works 100% for you, or leave it.

Figure out what you like in sound recording. Maybe you don't need to do it as a full-time career to be fullfilled by it. So what if you don't get to be the next "Insert Big Engineer's Name".

Everything is bullshit except one thing: Your life. Your happiness. Your kid.

Money is everywhere. If this is the problem, then spend the next 10 years of your life without touching a microphone, and do nothing but learn, work and think in a way to make money. Then, for the next 50 years, enjoy living off your savings while recording bands that you like Quitting the recording business does not mean living a resentfull life of regret and insatisfaction.

But then, if you're a stubborn a**hole that got in this thing for the better or the worst, then GO FOR IT, work harder, think better, and make this thing work out for you.

Good luck!

[vixapphire]

Originally Posted by manofsong

Did the quit thing. I took 1 year away from audio. Got an unrelated entry-level job, and in 4 years worked my way up through several promotions to a good manager position. However I lurk here nightly, have gear that I'm too tired to use at night, and have the same dreams I had 20 years ago. I might agree with the previous poster's comment of "don't wait too long" -- I've been sucked into the white-collar world, where it can be very satisfying in terms of $ and stability, but soul-less on others. What is best? What is balance? Only you can find out, I do not have the answer yet here.

hey, you remind me of me!

[Metatone]

Originally Posted by vixapphire

hey, you remind me of me!

Me too!

And, rainsinvelvet, I've been where you are (philosophically and feeling-wise). I'm still kinda there, though I've chosen extremely full-time unrelated work right now that takes up all my energetic time. I've lost the last house I had a studio in (and never fully completed). The space I'm in right now requires me to lug gear around and hook it up and patch everything in, etc, if I want to use it. I don't have the energy for that. And I've got roommates. So I read here and learn and pitch in the odd observation from when I had stuff hooked up in a room I knew well enough to really hear it.

I am wishing for and working for positive change of these circumstances.

I wish for peace, passion, prosperity, creativity, and joy. I wish for time enough to experience these things through our most loved activities, and with our most loved companions, while still tending to the dailies of life. So Be It!

Thanks for posting...and good luck.
ps that first response up there really set a high bar for this thread...many good posts and comments and suggestions here. thanks all!

[RedWallStudio]

In this day and age of ever-changing musical tastes and disposable artists, it is an uncertain road we travel as both musicians and engineers. More than ever, we have to be passionate about what we do and little more, as we are able to get little recognition for the time, heart and soul we pour into our projects. Even as little as ten years ago, you may find our names hidden away in the corner of CD insert, tucked away under a page of “thank-you’s”. Now, however, with most of our recordings ending up on an I-pod, rarely will anyone be able to see our fingerprint on a song that may touch their lives forever. So that leaves it up to us to simply love what we do, and very little more. We either need to love the gear and what we can do with it. Maybe we have regular artists that we work with that we admire and respect. Maybe it is the satisfaction of pulling out a mix we did two or three years ago and just saying “yeah, I worked on that.” It is the simple but often forgotten things that we need to pull out of the darkness and shine a little light on that will bring a smile to our faces and keep us motivated to continue to grow and love this business. So with that said Eric, the best I can tell you is to step back, take a break, look at what you have done in this industry, and what you want to do. Set some short term and long term goals for both financial and creative fullfillment. Figure out what you need to do, to make it fun again. It’s really that simple. And if you find that none of that is working... please PM me with a list of your gear... as I am in the market.fuuck

[lane thaw]

Eric,

You have a one year old, wife in med school, play in bands. I would suggest taking a break from engineering to support your wife financially and with child help - (there is no such thing as Mr. Mom - it's called being a Dad) - this way, she can finish school and get you two in a fiscal place where you can just do music and spent time with the little one. Stay in the band though as that is always fun, immediate gratification, and will satisfy your musical cravings. These few years are crutial, and, you can always jump back in with fresh ears.

I don't buy too much into that age thing - my last project was produced and mixed by a 72 year old whose love for music is still as vibrant as it was when he was 25.

Best of Luck and that will be 5 cents.

[allencollins]

Originally Posted by rainsinvelvet

I'm depressed.
Yes.. After engineering / recording sessions pro and simi pro for 13 years now..
I'm thinking its time to hang it up..

I'm currently working a day job that pays good, but I'm burned out on. I'm paying the bills while my wife goes to school. I've got a small child..
My brain is going "is it time to get a real job and give up on these dreams"..

I'm not getting to practice my craft at all. I'm not digging the room I do freelance work out of. I hate hearing my mixes as I drive back to my home late at night.

Maybe it would be a good time to pack everything up and take a year long break.
Re-evaluate my life and see if I still want to strive for something I know I'll never be satisfied with.

Thats where my head is at this very moment.

Anyone found themselves in a similar situation? And how did you resolve it?

Thanks for listening to my downer.

ERic

you can't quit. Part of being in the music biz is being miserable and second guessing yourself. Your band sounds good by the way. I would keep going.

[Alphatone]

Originally Posted by simonv

Changing careers now will never erase what you've did up to now. It is not a failure to change. It's like any relationship. If it's dead, you can either live through it for a lifetime of regret, work on it so that it works 100% for you, or leave it.

Figure out what you like in sound recording. Maybe you don't need to do it as a full-time career to be fullfilled by it. So what if you don't get to be the next "Insert Big Engineer's Name".

Everything is bullshit except one thing: Your life. Your happiness. Your kid.


Good luck!

Well said.

I'm still pretty young and I'm already on my third career. You can always start over if you want to do something different. And you can always come back if you feel like taking another shot. Even though I gave up a job as a full time engineer, the job I have now is teaching me tons of social and business skills that I lacked when I was younger and trying to get gigs.

But, before you do anything, I would encourage you to figure out the difference between quitting the industry and quitting your current situation. Maybe if you looked around a bit you could find a better gig/better room/better talent.