Stupid things you've been told at Guitar Center

[LoopQuantum]

Originally Posted by dibravibra

I asked a guy if they sell native plug-ins for mixing ITB. He looked funny and answered: "No, but we've got ATB". Then he showed me Toft's ATB 16 console..

Hm...I'm leaning toward calling BS on this one. Looks possible, until you read it aloud.

[Joe Porto]

Originally Posted by skyshooter

Yep cause if they ever get a foothold, the beer will be what they come for next, turning it into watered down swill, like coors light, keystone or some other god awful drink.

Coors light isn't beer. It's a sports drink.

[WVUtubadude]

Originally Posted by Joe Porto

Coors light isn't beer. It's a sports drink.

Really? I thought it was yellow carbonated water.


It's not beer if you can see through it perfectly.

[PRobb]

Originally Posted by Joe Porto

Coors light isn't beer. It's a sports drink.

How is Coors light like making love in a rowboat?

It's f*cking close to water.

[Joe Porto]

I drink coors light when I have to sober up....seriously.

[Mark Kaufman]

Bunny pee.

[Bubbakron]

Best thread hi-jack ever!!!!

[chrisdee]

Originally Posted by joelpatterson

Or you could go ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms) and take you mix to a whole new level.

Hehe

Like a Army of Darkness level

[Les Paul Gibson]

Sam Ash (pro recording department): In my 25 years I have never heard of Eventide, we have Digitech, that's probably just as good fuuck

GC: I was asking for older San Dimas Charvels, "Never heard of that brand, we have some Mexican Strats that stay in tune very well. And I never heard of Soldano amps, they must be new because we sell all the best brands fuuckfuuck

[PRobb]

The guy works in the "pro Audio" department and HE'S NEVER HEARD OF EVENTIDE?!?!?

[Art]

Originally Posted by Les Paul Gibson

Sam Ash (pro recording department): In my 25 years I have never heard of Eventide, we have Digitech, that's probably just as good fuuck

GC: I was asking for older San Dimas Charvels, "Never heard of that brand, we have some Mexican Strats that stay in tune very well. And I never heard of Soldano amps, they must be new because we sell all the best brands fuuckfuuck

this is not good news, downhill.

[Storyville]

Originally Posted by Les Paul Gibson

GC: I was asking for older San Dimas Charvels, "Never heard of that brand, we have some Mexican Strats that stay in tune very well. And I never heard of Soldano amps, they must be new because we sell all the best brands fuuckfuuck

Soldano is the only amp company that can wear snakeskin print with pride.

[Les Paul Gibson]

Originally Posted by Art

this is not good news, downhill.

its funny because, I was getting an Eventide Eclipse and it was on their website. I figure I would check it out at the store(like they have them in stock)
and when I heard they never heard of Eventide (WTF) I think I threw up in my mouth. Then I had to sit down before I fainted with confusion and digust

[d1rtynyc]

Originally Posted by S.Filpansick

Seriously...

How many syllables is "I-T-B"?

Ok, how about "in the box"?

And really, was that even necessary?
How many native plugins are you aware of for mixing OTB?

Classic.

Originally Posted by Les Paul Gibson

GC: I was asking for older San Dimas Charvels, "Never heard of that brand, we have some Mexican Strats that stay in tune very well. And I never heard of Soldano amps, they must be new because we sell all the best brands fuuckfuuck

This is the exact reason I keep searching for a used Charvel at GC that I like. They always have them way less than market value because it doesn't say Fender or Gibson on the headstock.

[Chrislpp]

I do enjoy this thread but you just have to ignore the ego. Just like everything around here.

[AwwDeOhh]

Originally Posted by Jim Kerr

Salesguy: Hi can I help you?

This pretty much sums up the whole thing ^ !

[glenn Taylor]

Wow this thead might win out against Dumb things said in the studio thread!
It makes sense!!

[S.Filpansick]

I went to GC yesterday, as they had some used Zildjian A Rock hats priced pretty reasonably.

SO, I go in to the drum room, and the stupid sales guy comes over and starts telling me that I don't want those crappy old things; I need these fancy new Paiste's over here...

I'm in here looking at some grungy old $125 hats, and you think that means I'm looking to spend $300+ just to boost your commission?

I don't think so...

The zildjians didn't do it for me, they sounded pretty terrible really; but even if I would've bought ANYTHING, I would have found a different sales guy to get the commission, just because I can't stand pushy sales people!

[guitron]

me: do you guys sell bulk instrument/microphone cable?
sales person: huh?
me: I build my own cables, does guitar center sell cable in bulk?
sales person: uhh, let me ask my manager.
(gone for 5 minutes, comes back)
sales person: i'm sorry sir we don't carry that brand.
me: oh, no, no. what i meant was do you guys sell cable in......bulk? so i can make custom length cables myself.
sales person: no, i just asked my manager and i'm pretty sure we don't carry that brand.
me: ok. thank you.


WOW. one of the only times i've walked out of GC smiling though.

[NateThruman]

"You can't seriously be serious about your music if you aren't using Monster Cables. I mean come on, seriously.........they're the Cadillac of guitar cables."

[Scottmotiger]

My music store rules:

1) Give helpful suggestions to the sfaff. Having worked in sales, when I'm just looking and a salesman comes up to me and won't stop badgering me, I straight up tell him, "I majored in psychology and have worked in sales for years; you sir are terrile at this. When a customer tells you he's just looking, what he means is he wants you leave him the heck alone." This stings a little I'm sure, but better he hear it from me than continue to lose sales and piss of his customers.

2) When calling on the phone, begin all questions with, "Hi, do you have anyone there who is a total expert with decades of experience in ______ [whatever I'm calling to ask about]?"

If they answer "Oh, definitely this guy or girl" I ask to speak to him or her.

If they answer "Yeah but they aren't here [or they're busy], maybe I can help" I say "No thanks, I'll leave my number and please have him or her give me a call when they're available."

If they indicate no such person works there, I thank them for their time.

3) When calling on the phone, if someone there DOES happen to be helpful I thank them, assure them that the universe DOES reward helpful people, get their name, and make sure next time I'm getting something, cables or whatever the case, that the comission goes in in their name.

[the recordist]

I worked at guitar center for like 2 months when one opened up in my home town...one of the worst times in my life (also because of a bad break up with my GF) but guitar center really made me feel like my life was doomed...lol...I won't even buy strings there...but I guess I do buy things from musicians friend from time to time...same company I suppose...I just don't want to go into guitar center and be confronted with fountains of ******

[dethbyoogabooga]

I was in the keyboard section and had to explain the difference between hammer/weighted action and velocity sensitive.

[TheEqualizer]

Asking about an item I'm looking at right in front on me....

"Um..I don't know dude. It think maybe we're out of stock on that one, bro."

[relaxo]

Waiting second in line at the cash register in the drums dept.

GC sales clerk asked customer in front of me for his name

"Simon Kirke" he answered.

(The Bad Company and Free drummer had just done a promotion with Guitar Center and there were posters of him in the drums dept and by the cash register.)

"Have you ever shopped here before?"

Simon smiled and rolled his eyes.

[jonathan jetter]

only got through a few pages here. funny stuff and i will chime in with some of my experiences tomorrow.

but-

i want to chime in with my sincere appreciation for the Pro Audio department at the Larchmont, NY store.

Ross (department manager) is a great dude who knows his stuff and respects that i know my stuff. his employees are helpful and never try to act like they know more than they do or more than i do.

the manhattan store, on the other hand, is a giant mess. they had a CMV 563 with an original M7 that looked pretty good. but they didn't have the cable to connect it to the PSU. and they were trying to sell it to me without the cable. and then they refused to spend the $80 to get a cable for the $3000 mic. and as far as i know it's still sitting there 2 years later not getting sold.

[jonathan jetter]

Originally Posted by joelpatterson

Time for another in my series of Reality Checks:

If ANYONE has had something other than a joyous experience at a Guitar Center, YOU ARE NOT DOING IT RIGHT!

You need to get over to the Albany, New York store, where either Chris or Adrian or Jason will take very good care of you, treat you with joviality and respect and a genuine interest in what you're after, slap you a high five and leave you with a twinge of sadness that you have to leave and can't spend more time there.

These guys are nothing but friendly and professional and easy-going and knowledgeable, got me my Sony PCM-D50 without any slight hint of a glitch and let me talk them into selling me the demo Rolls line mixer in the rack in the corner for NEXT TO NOTHING, I mean they didn't pay me to take it but just about!

Sure it's fun to tell ridiculous stories-- when you've had enough of that, it's time for Albany.

(Now that's a phrase to trademark, someone.)

except the last time i went in to the albany store (to buy a nice set of phones for my brother as a birthday present), the pro audio guys *would not* let me listen out of even a "decent" D/A + headphone amp to test a few sets.

first they wanted me to plug the phones into the one dude's iPod.

then they wanted me to plug it into some ghetto-looking DJ thing that switches between 2 cds.

i just wanted to listen in a quiet, enclosed room, plugging the headphones into the Pro Tools setup and checking out a few mixes i'd brought in order to A/B the phones. they wouldn't allow it until i got the manager involved.

then, the computer didn't work. PT kept crashing before i could even import the file. dude wouldn't let me trash the PT prefs + databases to try to make it work.

the hell with that place.

Parkway Music in Clifton Park will actually treat you like a human. and their Pro Audio guys might have even mixed a live show or twenty.

[narcoman]

Originally Posted by NateThruman

"You can't seriously be serious about your music if you aren't using Monster Cables. I mean come on, seriously.........they're the Cadillac of guitar cables."

Brilliant on so many levels......

[B-sharp]

I was buying an amp for recording and the sales rep showed me a new "distressed" fender amp. He said that it sounded better because they "aged" the wood by heating it and cooling it down over and over.
Then, when I was looking for a high quality guitar cable he directed me to these cheap $5 Chinese cables and said that they were the same quality as Monster cords.
Both these assertions sounded extremely suspicious so I asked my friend who worked in the pro audio dept and he confirmed that this guy was full of it.

Oh wait! I almost forgot the most ridiculous thing I've heard there! I was chatting with my buddy in the pro audio dept. and a salesman came in with this guy who was interested in a digital workstation. The salesman said you don't want that, it's too digital sounding and proceeded to direct him to look a Tascam 4track cassette recorder. "The warmth of analogue!" My friend and I did a double face palm.

[stringbean01]

sometimes i read these recounted dialogue transcriptions (particularly the really long winded ones) and think a) they're fake b) they are analogous to someone writing a porn script.

fun fact: i once saw jeff goldblum in the manhattan GC