Stupid things you've been told at Guitar Center

[1979]

Here's another great one:

"Trust me you dont want those monitors, all my mixes sound like shit in them."

[thewelfareline]

went in to buy an inline mic pad (which they didnt have) however to remedy my situation the sales ****** told me the ART preamp would do the same thing

[stevep]

Phone call,....

Me.... Looking for a price on a Shure SM7 do you guys have them in stock ?

GC dork..... Let me check,....

waiting.......... he comes back, cant find it... never heard of it,... you must want a sure sm57


Me.... click

[Jonboy79]

"Yeah but this presonus has a tube in it"

[Steamy Williams]

Originally Posted by audiomichael

Many years ago I worked at GC Sherman Oaks, and someone called and asked for a MIDI to 1/4" cable. The guy I was working with put down the phone and yelled across the store asking me if I knew where they were!!!

Miserable 8 months.

Originally Posted by synthdogg

Okay...I gotta fess up. I used to call CG asking for this very thing just to see what kind of responses I would get (In Chicago, though...that wasn't me in CA). I would usually get a lot of hemming and hawing and finally a "We're out of stock right now, I can order one for you."

Interesting side note: A few years later I found a company that made a guitar/synth converter box (I can't think of the name right now...) that used....you guessed it....a MIDI to 1/4" cable as part of its setup. It always used to make me laugh.

MIDI to 1/4" cables have their uses. For instance, you can use them to measure MIDI latency.

[the tortoise]

Man, some of these are great!

I work part-time in Sound Control which I guess sounds like the British equivalent of Guitar Center (nationwide music instrument/studio equipment chain), just to level out my monthly income.

I must say that my colleagues are made up of pretty much straight-up good guys and gals who really know their stuff. If anyone gets a call or a query that's not within their realm of knowledge they simply pass it on to one of their mates who do. I know that in our store (in the heart of London) we've got a reputation of good, on the ball, friendly salesmen/women and I make it a personal mission to make your average joe's experience of going into a music store one that isn't intimidating or erroneous.

With us though, it's all about the customer horror stories. Honestly, you just wouldn't believe some of the things you hear in an average day. So many people who have absolutely no idea about ANYTHING and are too lazy to do any type of research of their own just come in and want a big red button that makes 'radio readee' music for them and costs under £100.

For instance;
Me at Mac, pissing around in Logic - foreign customer walks up, nodding head..
HIM: So, is this a synthesiser or a keyboard?
ME: Huh?
After much strangled trawling through ignorance..
ME: So you want to make music on your computer?
HIM: Yeah
ME: Do you have a Mac or a PC?
HIM: Huh and the what now?
ME: *sigh*...right, there are basically two types of computers...

or another

PHONE GUY: Do you have the Focusrite Saffire?
ME: Yep, nice unit.
HIM: Does it have what I need to record?
ME: Sure, a number of ins and outs, two headphone outs, MIDI I/O,
HIM: Yeah, what exactly is MIDI?
ME: *sigh*

or another

PHONE GUY: If I buy a copy of Reason from the Mac store, will it work on a PC?

Or the guys who brought back their MBox Pro and Mac Pro, all in their boxes, because the DVD drive wouldn't read the PT CD. I had to spend two hours registering them on the site, downloading all the updates and installing everything for them.

Or the standard;

Typical Customer: I want to build a home studio with the best possible quality equipment so I can make every type of music that's 'radio readee' quickly and easily and I want you to choose every single piece of gear for me from the CPU to the plugins to the mics so I can rent it out and grow rich in a matter of months.
ME: Okay, not impossible and I like a challenge, what's your budget?
THEM: £500
ME: *wipes tear from eye*


Believe me, I could go on and on and on.

I will never be anything but cool to music store employees again (unless of course they are clueless like the guys you're talking about - my standards are now pretty high)


Keep it up! More please.


the tortoise

[CompEq]

Just today in fact at the Guitar Center Sherman Oaks store:

Me: Do you have board tape?

Salesperson: Uh, is that a band?

Me: No, it comes in a roll and is that non-acidic tape that I can stick to my console.

Salesperson: No, we're out.

[DeathMonkey]

Originally Posted by 1979

Here's another great one:

"Trust me you dont want those monitors, all my mixes sound like shit in them."

**spit take**


I got "Yeah, those 414s are so overrated. I've been using them for the last year and I can't get a decent guitar sound from em."

[CorkyTart]

Saw a kid at GC Sherman Oaks try to sell an Avalon and truly had no idea what he was talking about. It was as though he was trying to sell a car but talking about it like it was a horse - ****, horses dont even have wheels!

Been told:

- Presonus Pres are industry standard
- SM81 "Hands down best mics for overheads ever built"

Overheard the following:

Computers need to warm up to get the right sound
SSL Plugs are as good as a console
PODS are used on all the big records

My hands down favorite is when the play the "Let me get mgr approval to get the price down for you" and then they play with some buttons.

Had a guy say to me "Why the **** would you want to do that" when I asked him a question about setting up the triggers a certain way for BFD.

[papercut]

I was looking into getting a power conditioner, and the GC guy was showing me some Furmans.

As he's showing me the unit, he pulls out the light, and goes, "wow! that's really messed up. someone must of stolen a part from it."

I pulled out the lights on other models and he was really upset that someone got into all their demo units to steal parts.

[bcgood]

I asked if they had an SM7 and the guy looked at me like I was crazy. Not exactly an esoteric mic.

Last time I went in to GC it was such a strange vibe. The GC was only there for six months and sales don't seem to be great. There was a lot of tension in the air like, don't come here unless you're going to buy something. I kinda feel for those guys, I think GC corporate must put a lot of sales pressure on them.

bcgood

[NL5]

Originally Posted by PoorGlory

Last minute frantic call to GC before a show:

Me: Do you have any gaff tape?

GC Tard: Um....

Me: Gaffers tape?

GC Tard: What do you mean?

Me: Cloth tape used for taping things down on stage or whatnot... like duct-tape, except cloth and doesn't leave a residue... commonly used in the entertainment industry?

GC Tard: Oh yea! We have... (counting) 3 rolls right here.


10 minutes later I show up... what does he have ready for me? 3 rolls of grey duct tape from the back room.

Then of course, theres always the "What are you going to use it for?", like I'm an idiot for buying something and have no idea what its used for. **** off.

Damn, I had this EXACT same conversation! Who doesn't know what gaff tape is?!?!?!!?

[carival]

Walked into GC "pro audio" room the other day. Sales guy says, "looking for some pro audio gear"? I said, "yeah, have you seen any"?

[1979]

Here's one we'll hear in the near future:

"Tell you truth you those 002's are on sale, but the new 003 kicks ass!"

[TEB]

Originally Posted by NL5

Damn, I had this EXACT same conversation! Who doesn't know what gaff tape is?!?!?!!?

Well, there's the problem right there. Some people call it "gaffer's tape". The poor moe-ron got all confused.

[mipearson]

Other side of the bench for this one.

I'm shopping for a digital piano (read: playing with them so I know which one to look for on ebay) at the local Billy Hyde's.

I'm at the front counter trying to borrow a headphone adapter, as I'd brought phones but forgotten to bring along a 1/4" converter. I overhear a customer ask one of the staff

"So... this Alesis rack unit you have listed here... how many keys does it have?"

[excellrec]

Though I understand there is a potential to be a huge condescending ******-bag myself by walking into Guitar Center's and trying to assert my knowledge on salesmen who don't give a shit how much I know and just wanna sell shit, sometimes it's unavoidable.

Take for instance one time where I needed to get my hands on some synths after internet researching only got me so far. I walk into the Pro-Audio/Keyboard department and try to go it on my own and avoid when the staff this conversation comes up-

Sales bro': How's it goin' bro? You lookin' for some keyboards?
Me: I'm just trying some shit out, I'm all good, thanks though.
Sales Bro': (oblivious to me trying to blow him off) Well this keyboard right here is
pretty bad-ass, It's got some wicked sounds!
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Sales Bro': What exactly are you looking? Maybe I can help you out.
Me: (reluctantly engaging the Sales dude in my purchasing experience) Well I'm
basically looking for a hardware synth that's got most of the functions on knobs
so it's easy to program and also with some internal effects. I'm trying to stay
away from software synths as they bog down my system and they are too
cumbersome to me. I also already have keys so I'm just looking for a rack or
desktop synth.
Sales Bro': Check out this Oxygen midi controller man, you can plug this
baby into your computer and download some programs and it's like a 100
synthesizers in one!
Me: (slowly unholstering a nickel plated .45 from beneath my long black trench
coat) This is one sale you're not going to make commission on! (I fired until the
magazine was empty and made my way out the front door narrowly escaping
the menacing security staff guarding the entrance)

Anywho, I'm not welcome back to Rosedale Guitar Center anytime in the near future. Though I do find some of the other locations useful for stopping in and getting a feel for some instruments or amps.

[azwun25]

Originally Posted by mixer

I know he no longer works there.

are you kidding? he's the regional manager now!!!

[macmod]

more, more, more!

[JDunkley]

I called up Maplins in the UK (electronics shop) to check the availability of a compnant. They had it so I went in to get it. When i got there the guy behind the counter told me what I wanted doesnt exist and with all his years in electronics he knew that what I was was trying to do wasnt possible.

I found the part on the shelf (and it did work exactly how I wanted it to) and told him he didnt work in electronics he worked in retail. The part was a phono plug.

[audiomichael]

Originally Posted by audiomichael

Many years ago I worked at GC Sherman Oaks, and someone called and asked for a MIDI to 1/4" cable. The guy I was working with put down the phone and yelled across the store asking me if I knew where they were!!!

Miserable 8 months.

OK. That same saleman put down the phone and asked me if there was a box that someone could get the fx out of their JV1080 and use it one vocals. He said he prefered the sound of midi FX.

[wolffy]

Last time I made a big purchase at GC I came across the Epiphone Valve Junior guitar amp head. I didn't have money to spend on a new amp, but I remember reading here that for $100 it's a no-brainer buy. Most of my time that visit was spent in pro audio with a very helpful dude, but I told him I wanted to check out this amp real quick. He grabs me a cable and a pick and leaves me to jam for a while. Random guitar department salesman comes up and asks how I like it or whatever. I told him, "Well, I wasn't planning to buy an amp, but I figured I'd check this out since it's only $100."

"Man, if you really wanna !RAWK OUT! I've got these Mesa Triple Rectifiers over here!"

"Oh...no no...I'm already buying a bunch of stuff in pro audio so I'm not planning to spend any real money on a new amp."

"I dunno man, you should compare the tones. I mean, this Epiphone amp is only 5 watts...not exactly gonna blow away the audience."

"Right...well if I bought it it would be used for recording. I actually have a Fender combo and a JCM 800 at home, but they're both borrowed. Someday I'm gonna have to give those back and wanted to see if $100 will get me something halfway useful for laying some tracks on my own little tunes."

"Oh man, a JCM 800 is a killer amp. I actually have one used for $1499 if you're interested."

"Please go away now."

[wolffy]

P.S. Art Garceau, I assume you work for Shure? Which I would have guessed even without your specific SM58 comment seeing that you're from Chicago. That must be a cool job!

[daryllh]

Anywho, I'm not welcome back to Rosedale Guitar Center anytime in the near future. Though I do find some of the other locations useful for stopping in and getting a feel for some instruments or amps.

Just think, now you can venture up to Maple Grove's new GC. And, they will soon be opening one up in Woodbury (if I remember).

[Vum]

I was on my way to Austin to do a recording for some friends about 2.5 years ago. I stopped by GC in Dallas (off 635) to pick up a couple of headphones and a headphone amp. I also puchased some power adapters and other sundry items that I knew the band needed. In my experience you can't have too many of these items and there were like, 7 guys in this band doing strange and weird things with e-bows, theramins, and other warped effects (on top of bass, drums, guitar).

I get to austin and start to unload my computer and pro-tools rig. I mic the band up and reach over to open the box with the headphone amp. It's empty. Just the box and power supply.

Rewind.

At the store this clerk was totally scatter brained. It was his first week in pro audio but, he did "know lots about guitar". Great. It took him near 20 minutes in the back to find my headphone amp (another clerk told me he was looking at guitar amps that had multiple headphone outputs).

When he returned with a Rolls amp, I sent him back, frustrated as it wasn't what I'd asked for. He returned again, only this time without any amp and said they were out. I told him what I needed again, slower, and after 10 minutes he returned with the presonus headphone amp (which I didn't ask for) but as it was under $100 I decided to buy it. Well, as it turned out, the box.

The session didn't go so well because of this guy and I stormed back up to GC to talk to the manager. The guy had been fired for theft. Before the manager told me he coulnd't do anything about what happened to me, I realized that I had "I'm an
A$$***" tattooed on my forehead.

ending statement from the manager:

"Well, if you like your headphone amp, presonus makes some pretty righteous pre's as well"

So: I had another location recording 2 weeks ago that lasted a week. I needed to pick up some mic stands and that same store just happened to be on the way to the session. I go in and buy four mic stands and a couple of cables because I'd rented 7 extra mics that didn't come with them and knew that I would probably need to link two together at some point.

Anyways, this clerk is asking me what cables I want and keeps telling me monster cables are the only way to go. I tell him that I usually make my own cables buy that I don't have time.

He blinked, looked at me - and in total earnest says "...you...can do that??"

[asylumdigital]

Originally Posted by ArtGarceau

Me: Do you have the Groove Tubes "Brick" in stock?

Salesman: Why do you want that? Get the Presonus Eureka...it's the best tube pre we've got!

This went on for a while and ended in me leaving while cursing at that bitch.

Word for word----that happened to me. Back when they were clearing them out one month...

[Dan]

"Sure, you can hook that up ALS EUB!"

[-momo-]

Hilarious thread

I live in the Canadian back woods, so I don't get to the 'big city' very much. When I need a retailer, I work with a couple of small stores and know the owners personally. Whenever I get out, though, I usually stop by a big store - mostly for sport and free guitar picks. Here's a recent conversation I had after wandering into the recording department:

Guy: Can I help you with anything today?
Me: Nope, just looking around thanks.
Guy: So, are you into recording?
Me: Yup.
Guy: What do you use for monitors?
Me: HR824s
Guy: Never heard of those. Who makes them?
Me: Mackie. You have a set right over there.
Guy: Oh, right. They're nice, but I prefer Genelecs.
Me: I bet you do.
Guy: You record on computer?
Me: Yup.
Guy: We sell a LOT of these Firepods - I have a couple at home.
Me: Really? How's your latency?
Guy: Um… really good.
Me: How many milliseconds?
Guy: Oh, I dunno...around 100 or so, I think? Really good, anyway.
Me: Wow. That's high.
Guy: Yeah, Firepods rock.

I giggled about that for the rest of the day.