New ILOK ver 2.0!!!

[blindwhitey]

I have just discovered news that ILOK is about to release their latest version of anti-piracy protection/security. Preliminary reports have suggested that the prevailing content securer will launch its new line of DNA-ILOK dongles soon.

This is the greatest thing since ILOK ver 1.0 !!!! Users will be required to deposit a sample of their DNA into the new Space-age dongle. Only after a DNA match has been verified via internet (to the ILOK Headquarters) will access to your computer and software be granted. This newest generation of security devices is guaranteed to prevent piracy but not necessarily lower software prices. The DNA lab processing expenses will be passed on to the consumer in the form of “Zero Downtime ver 2.0” fees.

DNA identity theft should not be a concern for customers that opt to pay the ZDT v2 fees because the latest incarnation of space age data encryption schemes will be employed for the savvy user with good credit.

This new strategy is leaps and bounds ahead of the current ILOK topology. Consumer use could not be easier and prevents theft with only minor monetary & liberty inconvenience. It works like this:

You have an important session booked at 2pm. Get something to eat, grab some coffee. Aware that your trusty ILOK awaits your DNA verification… locate your preferred reading material and head for you private space to produce your DNA sample then go have a smoke. Prep time depends on the individual, of course. For those behind schedule or in a hurry, a sharp instrument will suffice in producing a DNA sample via blood.

This iron-clad development only imposes a slightly higher degree of expense and inconvenience than with previous ILOK methods. Please join me as we welcome this Godsend one credit-card payment and one tablespoon-of-DNA at a time. <Applause>
dfegad

[Makinithappen]

you chose to make this your 9th post?

[blindwhitey]

Originally Posted by Makinithappen

you chose to make this your 9th post?

You're right. I should have put more thought into it like your 158th post. Thank you for sharing your deep perspicacity.

[Makinithappen]

hmmm. yeah. you notice how many people came over to this post.

[Harley-OIART]

A swift contendor for lamest thread of 2007

[mobaudio]

Wait, this is a joke, right?


I thought it was a joke.


I was laughing and everything...

really?


I gotta get my humor bone looked at- 'cuz I thought for sure whitey was making with the funny.

I'm serious. I really thought it was supposed to be a joke.

Damn.


I

[donsolo]

it was a joke, relax...a lame one.

I'm guilty of many more.

[mobaudio]

Originally Posted by donsolo

it was a joke, relax...a lame one.

I'm guilty of many more.

Boy Howdy, me too!

Check out my thread about the "I polish turds" t-shirt.

I coulda SWORE that was funny.

Guess I was wrong.


Hey Blindwhitey! As soon as I figure out what passes for funny on this board, I'll let you know. Unless you work it out first- then you gotta tell me. 'k?

Until then, keep trying.


I

[blindwhitey]

Originally Posted by mobaudio

Boy Howdy, me too!

Hey Blindwhitey! As soon as I figure out what passes for funny on this board, I'll let you know. Unless you work it out first- then you gotta tell me. 'k?

Until then, keep trying.

Yes, of course this was a spoof. It was merely my way of expressing my contempt for ILOK. Some may dare to call it sarcasm. In the past I have tried making suggestions with a more “constructive” tone and forum (not GS). There were some good ideas that folks had to improve the current ILOK. Attempts by them and me to contact ILOK & Digidesign completely fell on deaf ears. No response. None.

I’m done arguing & debating about ILOK because I am convinced that they (ILOK & Digi) consider this an acceptable solution because it satisfies Software venders and only annoys/angers an acceptable % of end users. Whatever.

So just for fun I thought, “What could ILOK possibly do to make their product even worse while still not giving up their stranglehold?” (Think Orwell’s 1984 meets ILOK) Thus this thread was born. After all folks, lets not forget; this IS the Moan Zone Forum. You may not like what I have to say, but I feel it is appropriately placed.

[donsolo]

you know how a joke isn't funny when you explain it?

[MX582]

1984 was a good book, but anyways i dont see what the big deal is with iloks. I mean, the site sucks and is slow as hell but apart from that i dont have a problem at all with it.

[donsolo]

yea the technology isn't terrible..just the people supporting it

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by George W. Bush

I thought it was funny.

And one of your first posts was used to start another Mac vs PC thread. Was that funny too?

"Apple is going out of business, hahahaha"

[donsolo]

Nice Ad homminum attack...

sweet.

It's true though...you need to STFU for a while after that stupid thread (of which I chimed in)

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by donsolo

Nice Ad homminum attack...

Fair enough.

I'm just saying. Two of the most useless threads I've read in the last day or so were both posted by people who have been here less than 3 weeks. (even though GWBs thread actually got pretty funny as it went)


Edit: oops, my apologies to BW. 2006, not 2007.

[donsolo]

more like pissed on the electric wire...

Seriously...you're going to have a hard time getting us to take you seriously after that.

[blindwhitey]

I’m happy to see that Makinithappen & Donsolo have made it over to this thread a few times since I have started it. I’m glad you guys have taken the time out of your busy schedules to keep this thread alive. Your replies are a confirmation that this is a topic worth discussion regardless of member tenure at GS.

Oops! There’s that pesky, instigative, sarcastic tone of mine again that got us into this whole mess in the first place.

Seriously though, your criticism is welcome and par for the course. Yes, I am a smart-a$$ and try (maybe unsuccessfully) to approach matters such as ILOK with a tongue-&-cheek attitude in a feeble attempt to keep it light while still expressing my thoughts.

If there is one thing I have learned from this thread so far it would be:

Don’t quit your day-job to be a comedian. I would probably make as much money as I do as a Project Recording Studio!

Seriously though, all of you guys are cool even if you don’t agree with me that ILOK sucks donkey baseballs. Keep the discussion alive and maybe someone can figure out a better way to blah blah blah … are you still with me? Wow, you are a true Gear-Slut.

A great nerd once said:

“The best way to curtail software piracy isn’t to think like a thief; but, to think like a consumer.”

Bloody fuggin’ stroke of genius.

[gearobsessed]

Hey this post wasnt too bad look at the guy who started the "brad lyons vs fletcher" post e

[donsolo]

hahahaha

I try not to...

Seriously it really does turn you off if it's easier to hack it than register it right.

[Makinithappen]

Originally Posted by blindwhitey

Seriously though, your criticism is welcome and par for the course. Yes, I am a smart-a$$ and try (maybe unsuccessfully) to approach matters such as ILOK with a tongue-&-cheek attitude in a feeble attempt to keep it light while still expressing my thoughts..

Personally, it's not that I don't respect your point of veiw but, rather, there are a lot of people who start "I hat iLok:" threads and it gets old after a while. I'm sick of re-authorizing Metric Halos Channelstrip and VocAlign but your preaching to the choir.

[blindwhitey]

Originally Posted by Makinithappen

Personally, it's not that I don't respect your point of veiw but, rather, there are a lot of people who start "I hat iLok:" threads and it gets old after a while. I'm sick of re-authorizing Metric Halos Channelstrip and VocAlign but your preaching to the choir.

That’s a fair observation.

I guess in my own crazy way I thought that if enough users b!tched about ILOK enough (directly too), they (software developers and Digi) would consider improving or revamping their security methods. If there is one thing that I believe, it is that there is room for improvement here. Unfortunately, it is painfully apparent that Software developers will not change unless profits begin to suffer. And then who knows if they will even know what to change because it seems they don’t listen to their customers.

Thanks for your comments.

[donsolo]

here's the thing...

Better security from piracy = bigger hassle to the legit user...


Nuff said

remember when you didn't even need a serial number?

[Harley-OIART]

Originally Posted by donsolo

remember when you didn't even need a serial number?

Remeber how many people paid for "Wolfenstien 3D" ?

[donsolo]

you mean people PAID for it?

[Steve Singh]

People! It was a joke! and a pretty funny one. Stop taking everything so seriously. Make fun of yourselves. It's important.
Steve