How's this mix/master?

[alasdair]

All feedback highly welcome, I'd like to know what people think.

Thanks


http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6058261/mp3%...pen%200.01.mp3

[Mark D.]

The guitar riff is well recorded, as is the vocal. The vocalist is a little too un-involved in the song emotionally. She almost sounds like she's reading it. The male vocal is good, also not very emotionally into it. The drum sounds are also good, but a little too loud. Especially the snare, which has too much room sound and is a little too thick. They seem to be sitting on top of the mix and they are not quite blending with that.

The bass is a little quiet, and could use more subs. The samples and/or triggered drums start to show their nature in time, and can wear a bit. Try more velocity differences on hits, especially the rolls. Nothing is less natural than a loud drum roll at the same velocity. If this is an actual drum recording, it may have been edited too much, making that sound artificial. The mastered level is not too loud, no audible distortion.

[SRS]

Drums need more variance. In the fills the snare 16th notes are too artificial sounding due to the trigger/sample replacement. The toms are too thin and levels too low in relation to the rest of the kit. If sample sounds are going to be the kick and snare, then the toms need to match them.

The female vox are too lifeless. They need to really get involved in the song and sing it with some conviction and power. Need to carry out the lines more, too truncated. The male vox are quite a lot stronger. The clean guitars could use some chorus on them, and or delay to make them a bit more "swimmy".

Distorted guitars sound ok. Sounds like an amp sim and not a miked amp though, but could be wrong. The bass guitar is too low in the mix and needs some more beef.

Overall though, sounds pretty good.

[alasdair]

Thanks both for the feedback, I'm going to play about with the velocities of things a bit more, they're fully sequenced drums btw.

Will lower the room sample level a bit (I'm using slate trigger on snare and kick), and will sort out the tom sounds a bit too!


The Guitars are Line6 Pod Farm, I could do to play around with the tone / possibly different model perhaps.. Same goes for the clean sound, and yeah a chorus could do a lot for them. In the original, the clean guitars are quite dark sounding..

Is the mastered level too quiet? I always avoid distortion, some people seem to let a bit of distortion slip, or some people let a lot pass as long as it's loud.. There's no right and wrong I guess..

[alasdair]

Originally Posted by SRS

The female vox are too lifeless. They need to really get involved in the song and sing it with some conviction and power. Need to carry out the lines more, too truncated. The male vox are quite a lot stronger.

Ah, it's just (vocally) myself and my girlfriend, and she doesn't normally sing.. so not sure what more I can ask of her in that respect, but you were honest which is all I asked for..

I have had a few people say either that my voice is "mellow" or lacking in emotion, but I really don't know what to do about that...

[alasdair]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6058261/mp3%...pen%200.03.mp3

How's this one, Changed a lot to do with the snare and velocities, kick too, guitar sound changed, Bass louder and warmer and a few other minor changes

[Cheebs Goat]

The new track sounds better in some spots, but the first upload sounds much more interesting. You "fixed" too much of it. It's sort of generic now.

The snare is a bit better now, but I really liked a bit of the "too loud and too much room" you had going in the first mix. Maybe something halfway between the two would work?

Bass is better in the new mix.

Toms are much better in the new mix.

You killed your dynamics in the new mix. The chorus really hit in the first mix. It doesn't do much now except fill up more space.


In both mixes the Autotune is too obvious on the vocals.

Overall I think I'd prefer the first mix if only because the chorus sounds much bigger. Sounds like a limiter is working a bit too hard in the new chorus mix.

[alasdair]

Originally Posted by Cheebs Goat

The new track sounds better in some spots, but the first upload sounds much more interesting. You "fixed" too much of it. It's sort of generic now.

The snare is a bit better now, but I really liked a bit of the "too loud and too much room" you had going in the first mix. Maybe something halfway between the two would work?

Bass is better in the new mix.

Toms are much better in the new mix.

You killed your dynamics in the new mix. The chorus really hit in the first mix. It doesn't do much now except fill up more space.


In both mixes the Autotune is too obvious on the vocals.

Overall I think I'd prefer the first mix if only because the chorus sounds much bigger. Sounds like a limiter is working a bit too hard in the new chorus mix.

yeah. tbh I preferred the snare with more room sound too, I'd just had about 4 people say it to me by now.

I slammed the track just slightly too hard now too, removing some of the slight dynamic changes I had also. (I used Slate FG-X)

All of the vocals too obvious in autotune? or only some vocal parts? I'm aware of some obvious bits

[Cheebs Goat]

The worst Autotune problem is at the beginning of the song: "Tears of joy". The "joy" sticks out badly. But it does pop up throughout the song on both vocal parts. Maybe just back it off a bit.

[alasdair]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6058261/mp3%...pen%200.04.mp3

I have made some of the most obvious bits less obvious in the autotune dept, put more room sound back into the snare, restored dynamics.

Hopefully this sounds better again..

[Cheebs Goat]

Much better than the second attempt. I still like the first best because of the dynamics... The third mix hits way better than the second, but the chorus in the first still sounds the biggest with the most impact.

Maybe it's because the verse in the first was so sparse?

At this point I'd sleep on it. I know I lose perspective with so many choices in a small time frame. YMMV.

[SRS]

Much better. Listened to the 3rd version and no the 2nd. Music is much more solid. The bass fills it out nicely now and the drums are better. Still missing some tone and body to the toms. Use another sample if you can. Better on the 16th note snare fills. Now it just sounds like a lazy/sloppy drummer and not so much of a machine... get the feel right and then it will sound more natural.

I think you need to bring he toms up a bit more in the mix and if you have eq control, put some meat into them... maybe around 100 hz or so?

Get the toms dialed in and I think instrument-wise you will be doing well. The vocals will then be the parts to focus on to add the emotion and power to the song.