Stupidest thing YOU've done in a session

[aevan]

The stupidest thing you've heard thread is gutbusting, but what about the stupidest thing you've done in a session? I reckon I have a million, but to begin:
I started as an assistant in a pretty big (5 studio) place here in Oz. On one of my first few sessions as a first I finished a long mix, using all the tricks I'd learnt on the SSL, assisting some really good engineers. I played the mix one last time for the producer and he said "great, gotta go, put it down "and left. I ran it off and took the tape into the dubroom to make a safety. I played the mix and there was nothing. Not even hiss. Nothing. I spooled, nothing. I went back down to the studio and tried to sort out the problem. Then I noticed there were no leads going to the 1/2" machine. I swear the meters were moving the first time. I was young.

[aevan]

Then there was this time I was leadering up takes on a 1/2", and I was flyin along, I was so cool, whipping that length of tape out fast and everything till I noticed the blood everywhere and all the paper cuts in my fingers from the tape. Ouch.
I'm available for editing work BTW.

[zarembo]

I read an interview in one of the recording mags a while back where they featured that guy Husky Hosskuld (?) and asked the same question and he said something like: Never made a bad move in the studio, bad press is bad for business.
sure dude, whatever.

first extra stupid thing I did all by myself was trying to de-mag the JH-24 while it was still turned on. I was down on one knee and not looking at the meters, which were all pegged and screaming....

two different times I was setting up tom mics and bumped the clip on a 421 which sent it shooting straight into the nads of a very well-known session drummer. sorry about that.

then there was the time we were monitoring final mixes on the big Urei's really loud and the guitar player asked me to check the NS-10's and when I switched over, we had our own little ticker-tape parade right there. stike

[PhilE]

I came into a session on about day 3... assisting. Very big band here, tough album. I missed the fact that there were PZMs taped to the floor and walked straight over them on my way to patch up an extra mic on the kit... Drummer leapt out of seat, producer and engineer screaming! OOOPS! Sorry guys!

[Wiggy Neve Slut]

Turned up to work .....

Wiggy

[Jules]

For no reason, except vacant, moronic boredom.. I tried to remove the (removable) hum flap on a Telefunken 2" machine - while the tape was rolling...

I cut a triangular hole in the middle of the tape before I managed to hit the stop button...

(we flattened it down with editing tape and it fixed it..)

BOY was that dumb!

[jmiller]

In addition to mic tielines, the panel in the ISO has a few CUE amp tielines, and timecode tielines. So i'm plugging in the headphone box for a vocal OD session, and guess which one I plug it into?

"what is that horrible sound in my cans?!"

[T_R_S]

Left the talkback mic on by mistake. Then said something to myself out loud.

[Lynn Fuston]

Originally Posted by Jules

I cut a triangular hole in the middle of the tape before I managed to hit the stop button...

(we flattened it down with editing tape and it fixed it..)

BOY was that dumb!

So I'm not the only one who has put a corrugated mountain edit in the middle of a piece of 2" tape? Mine looked like a triangular washboard, how about yours?

And yes, it was dumb. But mine was from moving the Editall block while the tape was rewinding. I swear there are special demons for studios just to make us look bad.

But I feel much better now, knowing that I'm not the only one.

[marty lester]

my god...i could fill a book w/ them. here's a few:

- was sequencing a friend's record in Protools. blowing in mixes from DAT digitally.
after hours and hours of fine-tuning, we sat back to listen to the whole album and
realized that i blew the mixes in in mono (both inputs set to left channel in). that sucked.

- was recording crickets on my minidisc recorder out in the woods for an interlude between songs. set the recorder down, walked away for an hour. came back and realized i had the minidisc recorder in "record-pause" the whole time.

- when i was an assistant, i knocked my engineer's bottle of apple juice over right
into the Flying Faders. picture me with alchohol, tons of tech wipes, and a bucket full of panic for about a day and a half.

at least i never tossed the Telefunken 251 like the guy who's job i got after he did it...

marty.

[heyman]

Got you all beat.....

Not that I am proud of this.. Was tracking guitar one night at a studio in Connecticut.. Had Red Lobster for Lunch and it did not agree with me..
Well anyway, they were cueing up the tape while I was in the tracking room and I decided to push out a few baritone notes from my bowels....

Well, it went horribly wrong and I ended up hershey squirting my drawers...

Fukin Yuk. I managed to slip my way out of the room and hit the bathroom to clean myself up.. Underwear were dessimated.. Cleaned myself up and walked across the street from the studio and threw my drawers down a storm sewer..

I was able to compose myself and get through the session..

PS- I would like to thank Red Lobster for the Anal Leakeage.... FU dfegad

[HudHudson]

Had a pair of expensive reading glasses on the armrest of our board and as I rolled my Herman Miller Aeron chair to the other side of the console I knocked the glasses off and right under the chair as I glided over...CRUNCH! Time for new glasses. I looked like something out of Revenge of the Nerds after taping them back together with white board tape. The band laughed, heartless bastards.

[HudHudson]

Originally Posted by marty lester

at least i never tossed the Telefunken 251 like the guy who's job i got after he did it...

Tequila Marty! Glad to see you here. I have enjoyed that 251 ever since, best deal I ever got (he didn't throw it away, he traded it for a Lee Roy Parnell slide guitar instructional video plus a dime bag of Bastrop County hemp).

Hud

[cebolao]

i was beginning my work with a well-known hiphop group. the first day in studio.

the studio owner called my cellular and began to talk how much i have to care about the equipment, and that all these rap guys can be dangerous, might get stoned or drunk and break something, this kind of stuff.

i left the control room, where the band was and closed myself in recording room so i could talk to him without the guys hearing our conversation.

the vocal mic was on.


then i was recording a jazz player cutting some tracks for a pop album. the sessions were quite complicated, so i have printed the premixes of every song in order to switch faster from song to song, not to worry about outboard and so on.

when we were done i have erased from disk these premix sessions (i didn't need them anymore). with the jazz player's tracks.

[aevan]

OK, so heyman has to be leading at the moment. Thanking you for your open- ness (no pun intended) and yes I too felt the irresistable urge to push down the humgaurd on the mci when I was younger. I think it's a bit like the way young boys are attracted to fire. Aint it good to know we are all ********?
Anyone remember the earlySSL autocue days...We had an album in once when I was the studio dog's body, being produced by one of my all time drum gods (Nick Launey) and he liked to work with the autocue on. Eventually a chinagraf circle was drawn around the red light with an arrow pointing to it because the band kept slagging each other off, forgetting the person in the tracking room could hear them. Twas a killer album though.
I also forgot to notice the light when I said to someone "How hot is that first violinist, I wouldn't mind checking her pizzacato" and the whole orchestra turned and looked at me in the control room.
I was the composer, not engineering that one. Never got her number either.
Cheers,

AE

[Ricey]

after recording basics with a group, i realized that i had not reset the locate on the machine, and had to find a way - quickly - to let the band know that one of the best takes of the day was gone.

the guys were amazing. that is, they didn't have me flogged. after many, many hours of free time, they were able to re-create the track. we knew the original was better, but we also knew no one would know that.

when overdubs started the following week, i put up the reel(yes, i still had the gig amazingly), only to find that i had NOT recorded over the original track. i can't describe the complexity of the expressions on their faces.

[absrec]

Originally Posted by heyman

Well, it went horribly wrong and I ended up hershey squirting my drawers...

I believe that's called "Sharting"!

To be honest, I can't remember all the stupid shit I've said. But one thing sticks in my memory. I was recording a christian band once. The singer kept singing this line that went "I won't go down". In the context of the song it meant he won't be beaten or made to give up or something like that. You know those christian bands, they're are all postive about stuff. By the middle of the project, I was comfortable enough to cut up with them. Anyway, this was the one line in the song that he had a lot of trouble with. Finally after hearing it for about 30 minutes I got on the talkback yet one more time and said "I think you got a better one in ya..." and promptly turned around to his girlfriend sitting on the couch and said "he keeps saying he won't go down...", expecting to get a laugh. Silence filled the control room, nobody even acknowledged me, and we carried on as if I'd never said a thing.

Ouch!

[Tim]

Originally Posted by absrec

"I think you got a better one in ya..." and promptly turned around to his girlfriend sitting on the couch and said "he keeps saying he won't go down...", expecting to get a laugh. Silence filled the control room, nobody even acknowledged me, and we carried on as if I'd never said a thing.

Perhaps your remark was a little too close to home.

[Sqye]

ok, here goes.

Years ago, I'm recording a live African band in 4 separate rooms (including a large ensemble room and concert hall) on 3 floors of studios all set up with radios, video talkback, etc..

I'm the tape op punch master. 24 tracks enabled.

We're doing bass od's. I punch in for ONE 8th note, only FORGOT TO DISENGAGE RECORD ON THE OTHER 23 INPUTS!! So erased 23 instrument inputss for one 8th note!!!!

Fortunately for me, I'm the punch master, and we got the band back in and I punched that 8th note back in. No one could tell (except the keyboard player, who never forgave me).

We were all definitely sweating, especially me!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOPS

[Igotsoul4u]

Due to inexpierience and lack of training in neve total recall, no total recall exists for a song off one of the biggest selling albums in the last decade. I learned the hard way that flying faders only saved automation moves. Arggg!!! Luckily the song was never recalled. Nobody knows about this to the day and I did not put my name on anything. I feel sick just talking about it.

[Drumsound]

On the 3M M79 master remote there are four track arming buttons for each track. Record, Cue (sync), Input, and Tape (repro). They are color coded and numbered. There are also master buttons for each function.

I was working with a solo artist and he was in the live room teaching the song to the hired drummer and bass player. They decided to track one. I get the machinegoing, give them "rolling" in the talkback and off they go. They try a few times and about the third or fourth one, they decide they want to hear that one. The come in while I'm spooling the tape back. I hit repro and play and there's nothing comming out of the monitors. I look at the remote and realize that I didn't hit the master record! The slate on the first take on tape has me saying "Take 4 'cause I'm an idiot."

[Jay Kahrs]

Originally Posted by Sqye

ok, here goes.

Years ago, I'm recording a live African band in 4 separate rooms (including a large ensemble room and concert hall) on 3 floors of studios all set up with radios, video talkback, etc..

I'm the tape op punch master. 24 tracks enabled.

We're doing bass od's. I punch in for ONE 8th note, only FORGOT TO DISENGAGE RECORD ON THE OTHER 23 INPUTS!! So erased 23 instrument inputss for one 8th note!!!!

I've got a similar one!!!

I was cutting horns for a Hatian band, overdubs on an MTR-90. The locater is to my left, between me and the bandleader. There are about a dozen people too many in the control room all watching the horn players in the live room and it's really crowded and warm from all the tube gear and the desk.

Well, the band leader got a bit ummmm...overly excited and started jumping up and down yelling at someone else in the control room when his arm came down onto the MTR-90 locater...throwing about 17 or 18 of our 24 tracks into record for a few seconds before I stopped the tape!!!

So I wound back and we listened to the six and a half second hole in the middle of their tune. Only the bandleader could speak English but I'm pretty sure that the rest of the natives were just as unhappy. We ended up moving on to another tune and we finished the day without fixing or really speaking of "the incident".

I talked to the big man a few days later and we ended up being able to fix the song. Since it was a chorus that got mangled, we copied and flew a different chorus into place, two-tracks at a time with Sound Tools!!!

[RecTeach]

This site doesn't have enough bandwidth...

[absrec]

Originally Posted by Tim

Perhaps your remark was a little too close to home.

LOL!!! Doubtful, considering this was the same guy from which I learned the meaning of a "Jelly Doughnut".

[rlnyc]

i kept hearing this stupid sound ... ping ping ping. it was driving me crazy so i walked over to the window where the noise was. it was raining out and something was making that sound, so i opened the window. next thing i know there is an electric plug flying by me and out the window, but the "ping ping' is gone. a few seconds later i hear a big crash.

it was the AIR CONDITIONER. four flights up. the air conditioner was held in place by the window i had just opened, and the ping sound was raindrops hitting it. luckily nobody was below. but for some reason it got awfully hot later that day. and i had to explain what i had done with the AC.

of course, something i seem to have done more than once is to arm the wrong track for recording. whoops!

best,
rlnyc

[Jules]

Originally Posted by Lynn Fuston

So I'm not the only one who has put a corrugated mountain edit in the middle of a piece of 2" tape? Mine looked like a triangular washboard, how about yours?

THATS THE ONE!!!

[Jules]

Originally Posted by rlnyc

so i opened the window. next thing i know there is an electric plug flying by me and (edit) a few seconds later i hear a big crash. It was the AIR CONDITIONER. four flights up. the air conditioner was held in place by the window i had just opened

This is winning for me so far!!!

[Raw-Tracks]

It was during the first month of my internship at an artist owned cmmercial studio. On days when the studio was not booked, the artist would work on his own material. He would let me engineer for him. We were working on ADATs. He is a guitar player and would like to get very surgical with punch ins. He taught me a lot about using the BRC to its fullest extent. He would have me punching in to grab 1/8th notes left and right, over and over until he had it just right. He was religious about backing up the tapes every few hours. We had been at it for a few hours and he decided he wanted to break for lunch. So that meant I should backup the tape we had just been working on.

I grab the the clone tape and load it into another Adat machine and proceed to make a clone of the clone! I just recorded over the last few hours' work! I immediately told him what I had done, and he took mercy on my soul. He told me that that would be the last time I would do that, and that sometimes the best lessons learned are from our worst mistakes. I was greatful that he didn't boot my ass out right there, but I was absolutely sick to my stomach for the rest of the day.

[MAProTulz]

Originally Posted by heyman

Got you all beat.....

Not that I am proud of this.. Was tracking guitar one night at a studio in Connecticut.. Had Red Lobster for Lunch and it did not agree with me..

Was that Sonalysyts? I grew up in the next town over from that place!

[mogWai]

Originally Posted by heyman

Got you all beat.....

Not that I am proud of this.. Was tracking guitar one night at a studio in Connecticut.. Had Red Lobster for Lunch and it did not agree with me..
Well anyway, they were cueing up the tape while I was in the tracking room and I decided to push out a few baritone notes from my bowels....

Well, it went horribly wrong and I ended up hershey squirting my drawers...

Fukin Yuk. I managed to slip my way out of the room and hit the bathroom to clean myself up.. Underwear were dessimated.. Cleaned myself up and walked across the street from the studio and threw my drawers down a storm sewer..

I was able to compose myself and get through the session..

PS- I would like to thank Red Lobster for the Anal Leakeage.... FU dfegad

Hee You shit yourself during a session. I think thats the funniest thing I've ever read on the internet.. ever.

Now, did anyone notice or were they just being polite...?

Haha - still chuckling about this one