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5th May 2008, 04:46 AM
| #1 |
| Gear nut  Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Atlanta Ga
Posts: 105
 |  hear any good audio jokes lately? i didnt know what part of the forum to put this in but this seems like a good place. |
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7th May 2008, 05:42 PM
| #2 | |
| Lives for gear  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 1,198
| Quote:
__________________ Ugh. Myspace. In the can/on the horizon: Jules Shear, Dresden Dolls, Steve Smith, Solace, Dixie Witch, Aerosmith, Jim Jones, Mike Stern, Tony Furtado, Smif n Wessun, James Montgomery, DJ Kurrupt, Dave Weckyl, A Thousand Knives of Fire, Dipset, The Skatalites, Roadsaw, Ironweed, Never Got Caught (Clutch and Tree), JR Writer, Humankind, The Indefinite Article, Elisabeth Whithers, etc, etc, et ceteraaaa... | |
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7th May 2008, 05:45 PM
| #3 |
| Lives for gear Join Date: May 2005 Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 1,198
| A personal favorite: 
__________________ Ugh. Myspace. In the can/on the horizon: Jules Shear, Dresden Dolls, Steve Smith, Solace, Dixie Witch, Aerosmith, Jim Jones, Mike Stern, Tony Furtado, Smif n Wessun, James Montgomery, DJ Kurrupt, Dave Weckyl, A Thousand Knives of Fire, Dipset, The Skatalites, Roadsaw, Ironweed, Never Got Caught (Clutch and Tree), JR Writer, Humankind, The Indefinite Article, Elisabeth Whithers, etc, etc, et ceteraaaa... |
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8th May 2008, 08:48 PM
| #4 | |
| Gear nut Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 115
| Quote:
i just LOLed about 6 times | |
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9th May 2008, 01:36 AM
| #5 |
| Gear maniac  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Asheville, NC
Posts: 256
| Q: What did the Pro Tools engineer say to the shitty band? A: That sucked. Come on in! |
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9th May 2008, 02:27 AM
| #6 |
| Gear addict  Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 354
| The amount of time spent talking about gear is inversely proportional to the time spent getting ass. |
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9th May 2008, 02:42 AM
| #7 |
| Gear Head  Join Date: May 2004 Location: Foxboro, MA
Posts: 53
| Q: What's the difference between a FOH engineer and God? A: God doesn't think he's a FOH engineer. Q: What's the difference between a pop musician and a jazz musician? A: A pop musician plays 3 chords to 1000 people. -Dan.
__________________ Dan Costello Foxboro, MA It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. |
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9th May 2008, 09:56 PM
| #8 | |
| Jai guru deva om  Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: South Carolina
Posts: 7,421
| Quote:
BEST EVER War
__________________ Warren Dent Front End Audio Sells Gear Tuesday Testers: Hear the Gear I am truly at your service. | |
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9th May 2008, 10:07 PM
| #9 | |
| Lives for gear  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Midwest
Posts: 546
| Quote:
here's a few more: http://www.gearslutz.com/board/gear-...sic-jokes.html
__________________ "phantom power doesn't make your voice sound spooky" http://www.myspace.com/dykstra | |
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11th May 2008, 04:54 PM
| #10 |
| Gear addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: St-Sauveur, QC, Canada
Posts: 433
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11th May 2008, 05:10 PM
| #11 |
| Gear Head  Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
| My fav...
__________________ You don't know who which one you talkin' 'bout! |
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11th May 2008, 05:33 PM
| #12 |
| Gear maniac Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Nashville
Posts: 265
| My Favorite Location Sound Joke Q: What do you call audio without video? A: Radio. Q: What do you call video without audio? A: Surveillance. |
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2nd June 2008, 12:26 PM
| #13 |
| Gear Head Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Murfreesboro, TN, USA
Posts: 39
| Could anyone find the old thread? If not, this is still a great thing to have around, thanks... A bequeathal from a one-man-band who called himself The Matt Kurz One. So I was on tour for a while, and I missed my grain farmer neighbor. I made it a point to see him when I got back home, and I saw his farm was up for sale. I asked him about it, and he told me he was dropping out of the business to join a punk rock band. So I say, "Grain Farmer Neighbor, why are you quitting farming to join a punk rock band?" "Because I am SICK of Haulin' Oats."
__________________ "One never knows, do one?" - Junior Gorg My mic closet? More like a nylon bag with a shoulder strap. |
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7th June 2008, 04:15 AM
| #14 | |
| Gear interested  Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 8
| Quote:
You know what sucks i actually heard a producer say that, and turned to me and said, "sounds like you have some work to do" | |
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7th June 2008, 04:19 AM
| #15 |
| Gear interested Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 8
| How do you know if a vocalist is knocking at you door? If they don't have a key and don't know when to come in How many assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assistant, "I swear to god this was working yesterday!!!" |
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10th June 2008, 05:59 AM
| #16 |
| Gear addict  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Indiana
Posts: 344
| Q: what does a stripper do before work? A: drops her boyfriend off at band practice? Q: How do you get a bass player off your front porch? A: Pay for the pizza? Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless
__________________ theGeek Handbuilt Les Paul Copy Handbuilt Tele Copy Handbuilt Flying V Variax Acoustic Marshall Plexi Clone Avatar 212 with Vintage 30's Lopo Line Slant 212 with Greenbacks  |
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15th June 2008, 05:02 PM
| #17 |
| Gear interested Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10
| how do you know the trombone player showed up? the pizza is here. how do you tell if the drum riser is not level ? the drummer drools from one side of his mouth. |
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15th June 2008, 07:26 PM
| #18 |
| Gear interested Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 8
| What is the difference between a drummer and a chicken crossing the road? The chicken has a gig to go to |
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16th June 2008, 10:56 PM
| #19 |
| Gear interested  Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19
| Q: What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull? A: On a bull, the horns are in front. Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: They have machines for that now.
__________________ Howard Sonnenburg Composer/Sound Designer/Engineer/Gadabout www.sonsey.com "Ya canna change the laws of physics!" - Montgomery Scott |
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17th June 2008, 06:11 PM
| #20 | |
| Lives for gear  Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: New Milford, CT, USA
Posts: 3,851
|  Quote:
On a bull the horns are in front and the ass is in the rear. I know a bunch of conductors, and not one of them likes that joke.  --Ethan
__________________ www.realtraps.com The acoustic treatment experts ----------------------- Amazing Telecaster guitar video | |
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18th June 2008, 11:44 AM
| #21 |
| Gear nut  Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 113
| How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb... None, the organ player can do it with his left hand. |
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19th June 2008, 01:19 AM
| #22 |
| Gear addict  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Misshiggin
Posts: 406
| How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? One, he holds it up and the world revolves around him. How many A&R guys does it take to change a light bulb. Two, one to change it and one to tell the artist to change it again in three days.
__________________ "Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it." ~Santayana |
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21st June 2008, 07:45 PM
| #23 |
| Gear interested Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 28
| Q: What's the difference between a gynacologist and a bass player? A: A gynacologist only gets to play with one c*nt at a time. And now I'll leave. |
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21st June 2008, 08:03 PM
| #24 |
| Gear nut  Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 78
| Not sure if this one has been posted here before... Dear Abby... I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or says quietly "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends and comes home late. A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band and he told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp so hat's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said "sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if my wife comes in and who she comes in with". He agreed. At the gig I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp and watching the entrance to the club, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other 3. Is it possible my tubes are mismatched and is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a technician? Thanks Very Concerned.
__________________ music :.|. www.embrionic.tv :.|. :.|.:.|.:.|.:.|.  | The 500 Series Database | :...www.LunchBoxHero.com |
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