Gearslutz? I want to be a Gearpimp - buying great analog instruments, and then starting a service where virtual or cheapie analog owners come to me to recreate their patches on the high-end stuff.
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I'm the vaccine for the Access Virus.
Find a clown. Determine the resonant frequency of its demented cranium.*
Detune the oscillators so that the interference beat from the two matches this frequency.
This is calculated by the following formula:
Make sure that your waveforms are free from aliasing, as the aliasing tones that are folded back into the sound of the oscillators will create additional interference beats that are unrelated to the task at hand.
Increase the volume to the point that the resonance from the oscillators in its skull make the two hemispheres of the clown's brain detach from each other. You can stop there, or for a more spectacular visual effect, continue until saturation is achieved and structural failure of the clown's head occurs.
edit- *for the utter noobs that don't know, this is done by attaching a pressure transducer to its head and connecting the output to a strobe tuner. Tap lightly with a rubber mallet and note the frequency.
I think that I am doing something wrong. I have Osc 1 set on Korean, Osc 2 set on Chinese Mandarin and Sub Osc 3 set on Japanese. But I thought that oscillators were supposed to be geometric shapes like water, mud and jell-o?
I wonder does the OP know what he started with this thread LMAO. I also wonder did he end up detuning those oscillators after. Maybe he did and he could drop back in and tell us than what happened.
__________________ "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." Thomas Edison
I wonder does the OP know what he started with this thread LMAO. I also wonder did he end up detuning those oscillators after. Maybe he did and he could drop back in and tell us than what happened.
OP pops up now and again in this thread. last time, not so long ago.
i think i read that he's a music tech tutor, if you can believe that.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djugel
The knob on the Source is perhaps the ballsiest knob ever made.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LimpyLoo
My gearection has gone from 'Fairchild' to 'Behringer'...
OP now is a music tech tutor, if you can believe that.
I can.
His business goes on like this:
he meets 8 customers a day.
7 ask questions he can't answer, and they quit.
1 of them asks "detune two OSCs: then what?".
he answer by reciting this whole thread, mentioning all the answers as they were HIS ideas. It takes 50 minutes.
The client falls asleep after 10 minutes. Sometimes 20. Seldom 45.
He awakens the client and makes him pay 70 bucks for the 50 minutes consultancy.
70 bucks x 22 working days a month = 1540 bucks a month
costs = 15 minutes internet connection TWICE (once for posting the question, once for downloading the answers)
gear required = none, including ITB, OTB, outboard and overboard
Investment required: 5 bucks
Net Profit = 1540 bucks a month.
rate of return on investment = can't be matched even by skrillex on a busy month. Shames Madoff. Makes Warren Buffett look like a beggar.
We are all idiots.
The OP is a genius.
[side effect: after beeing so hypnotized and braintutored during their sleep, clients have funny ideas jumping around in their head. They are strangely attracted, against their will, to Gearslutz, and post odd questions, absurd comments, out-of-this-world theories. Slowly, a whole generation of demented zombies is created. Come 12/12/2012, all of them get hold of a Juno 106, they hit the same button in the same moment, the World disappears in a vortex of contradictions].
he answer by reciting this whole thread, mentioning all the answers as they were HIS ideas. It takes 50 minutes.
The client falls asleep after 10 minutes. Sometimes 20. Seldom 45.
He awakens the client and makes him pay 70 bucks for the 50 minutes consultancy.
70 bucks x 22 working days a month = 1540 bucks a month
costs = 15 minutes internet connection TWICE (once for posting the question, once for downloading the answers)
gear required = none, including ITB, OTB, outboard and overboard
Investment required: 5 bucks
Net Profit = 1540 bucks a month.
rate of return on investment = can't be matched even by skrillex on a busy month. Shames Madoff. Makes Warren Buffett look like a beggar.
We are all idiots.
The OP is a genius.
[side effect: after beeing so hypnotized and braintutored during their sleep, clients have funny ideas jumping around in their head. They are strangely attracted, against their will, to Gearslutz, and post odd questions, absurd comments, out-of-this-world theories. Slowly, a whole generation of demented zombies is created. Come 12/12/2012, all of them get hold of a Juno 106, they hit the same button in the same moment, the World disappears in a vortex of contradictions].
You mean that... there are young people somewhere,
who are in college,
who are trying to major in Science,
who at some point in their career gest stuck with Test-Panic, financial problems, family issues, love troubles, mononucleosis, or whatever issue may hamper their ability to advance in studies,
and who ask for help,
and the guy in charge of their future life and salary
is somebody who became famous on the internet
because HIS musical career was stopped by the following unsolvable problem:
you have two osc and you detune them... then what?
You mean that... there are young people somewhere,
who are in college,
who are trying to major in Science,
who at some point in their career gest stuck with Test-Panic, financial problems, family issues, love troubles, mononucleosis, or whatever issue may hamper their ability to advance in studies,
and who ask for help,
and the guy in charge of their future life and salary
is somebody who became famous on the internet
because HIS musical career was stopped by the following unsolvable problem:
you have two osc and you detune them... then what?
Oh...
I think you guys are being too hard on him. He is obviously a senior in college and he only needs one class to graduate. But semester after semester he keeps failing the class because he can't answer the question "You have 2 Osc and you detune them. What do you do next?"
When he sees this question semester after semester his brain automatically starts thinking like this:
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