Gearslutz.com - View Single Post - How can I fix this song. Pleeease listen!

I would like to make the percussion and overdubs more interesting. Maybe less bass, drums, and guitar. I would to do some more unique percussion. More unique arrangments but, i don't even know where to begin.

Lyrics aren't finished. This is a demo. Guitars were direct. Everything was done just to get it on tape. No time was spent perfecting anything. I figure it's a waste of time to do on a demo that's just going to get rerecorded.

Please give me any advice on how to make things more interesting or if you think there are parts that should or shouldn't be there. That feel empty or too busy. That change to quickly. Stuff like that.

I know the song needs a grand ending. I haven't even really gotten there because I'm not sure what to do with the song.

Does anyone have a good mind for organizing songs?

Thanks.

EDIT: I added an updated version several comments down the page.