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the problem with this playing hardball attitude is that it presumes that there is a gold standard sliding scale on which all releases are to be measured, with 'crap' on one end and 'perfect' on the other. There isn't. Look at all the differing opinions around here on all sorts of things. Les Paul vs Strat. Pearl vs DW. Analog vs Digital. Cubase vs PT. As much as we are all slutz at heart, this music thing is not an exact science.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't have teh luxury (or curse?) of only having friends with the exact same tastes that I do. I have friends in bands who write music that I would never write, and who probably hate the stuff I write if suggested it during one of their sessions. But we're still friends, and we recognize that we're all different with different tastes. Now this all assumes we're talking about taste questions, not technical things. If my friends put out a jazz record and im not into jazz, Im not going to say 'it sucks' because I dont like jazz. Im going to say positive things like 'you guys played well' or 'the mixer did a good job' (if in fact he did). No one wants to be around the person who is always throwing around opinions as to why everything thats not what he does sucks.
Now if we're talking about technical stuff like mix balance or is it too loud? or too much verb? too dry? that kind of stuff its ok to be honest about, but i stand by my earlier point. If they didnt ask you before they sent it off or while they were working on the project, then they aren't really that interested in your honest opinion. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing. I have friends that i doubt would hire me to produce/engineer/play on their record because they feel that my styles dont mesh with theirs exactly, and thats fine, because I have my preferences and they have theirs, but we can still be good friends and respect each other's talent and vision.
The inadequacies of the english language make it inherently difficult to speak opinionatedly about something without sounding like you are making an objective judgement of its value. Unless the person has specifically asked for my opinion about said product, Im going to avoid spewing out all kinds of know-it-all criticisms because often they really just want to share their art with others, and I want to encourage them. Now if we're REALLY good friends and I think they can do better, i might say 'you know i think you can do better, and Id like to help' so that they know i have their interests at heart, not just wanting to hear myself talk smart.
Its one of those things where everyone is an armchair producer, film critic, child psychologist, political expert, expert on everything. We all want to throw in our 2 cents to sound smart. THis is america (for most of us, but the principle still stands for people in general). we should be embracing differences in taste and process when it comes to art. Not saying there are no absolutes (i believe there are. heck, im a christian and a political conservative!) but in life i really think we as people need to make distinctions between what things we should stand our ground on and what things are just opinion and preference. It is the ultimate arrogance of man to blur those lines and assume that everything WE like is inherently better.
ok im rambling. i guess you have to ask yourself. what is more important? the friendship and demonstrating that you are in their corner? or making sure that everyone knows that YOU are mixer-god and you could have done better? i choose the former. people are more important that fidelity.
-dan
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