Ok my early Xmas gift to the gs community.
The SDC and LDC helmet!!
Materials needed:
Adult supervision.
dremel or hacksaw (optional)
A drill
Wingnuts
Small bolts, short in length
Silver Mesh Pencil Cup 
3" X 3" X 2" Silver Mesh Drawer 
and
A cheap ass mic clip, like the kind you'd use for a SM58.
Drill two appropriate holes in the side of the pencil cup and make matching holes in the side of the mic clip. Obviously the bolts can't be too too long, but you can just make 4 holes total in the mic clip so that you can use longer bolts. Common sense. Just some bolts to screw the wingnuts onto. Theres a few ways to do it. I think if you want it extra sturdy, you'd make 4 parallel holes in the mic clip. Then you'd need the 2 holes to match it on the mesh pencil cup.
Insert the bolts into the holes in the mesh cup with the terminating ends inside the cup, so basically threads come from the inside to the outside of the cup. Then the bolt passes through the mic clip and receives the wing nut. You this for both bolts and respective wingnut.
Screw em in tight and voila a mic helmet for your sdc.
If you'd like to create a "channel," for the SDC and the clip it goes onto, then use a dremel cutting tool or a hacksaw to create the gap of an appropriate size. I'm thinking the dremel would create a much more elegant cut.
You'd do the same thing for the drawer as far as the screws, BUT you'd want to put the bolts near the very top of the drawer so that there's less opportunity for you to scratch the mics finish.
I ordered my mesh drawer and mesh cup for about 12 bucks shipped, I've held these things in my hands before at my co-worker's desk before and they're pretty hard, harder than grill mesh on a mic.
They should work out swimmingly.
You can just put the clip (with the wingnuts) onto a mic stand (screw it in) and position the stand wherever the mic that needs protection is at, so that the mic goes inside the pencil holder (SDC) or the drawer (LDC).
If you want to do this without using a second mic stand, then do the following.
Get a gooseneck adapter that has male ends (mic stand thread 5/8") and screw the clip (with the cup/drawer) on one end and then get one of those squeeze mic clips so that you can clamp your little contraption right to the resident mic stand that has the mic you need to protect.
I don't think the mess will hurt the sonics of the mic in question any more than a metal pop filter would.
You should be able to put this whole together in 20 minutes tops and have it cost you no more than 20 to 30 bucks to kludge it together.
Again, why the F this ain't a product? I have no clue.
Anyhoo Merry X Mas! Have a great Thanksgiving and you BETTER not try to make this when you're supposed to be carving Turkey! The wife will have a fit LMAO!
Peace
Illumination