Just gave it a quick listen (been meaning to for a few days). I'll just give a mini review for the hell of it.
This is all objective, but I'll echo some things and add my two cents:
- The sync of the vocal and your remix seems to need some TLC. It certainly sounds uberquantized.
- This arrangement demonstrates some potential in your future productions (good ear, knack for trying to keep it interesting), but it sounds like it's a bit lazy (don't they all, sometimes?
) Very safe and predictable.
- The pizzi (obviously played on the black keys?) is kinda cool, but needs a bit more structure to develop its character for your version. In my writing/production I try to envision each sound and element as a character in the story.
- What shines for me are the pulsing synth quarter notes starting at the first verse and the gated strings at 2:26-ish. Those were the most interesting parts of your arrangement for me.
- The sweeps and swishes and swoops have to wow me if they're going to be there.
Recap: Best elements for me are the pulsing quarter note synth at the first verse and the gated strings at 2:26-ish. Other sound selections could be better for me. Arrangement could absolutely be better for me, but it sounds like it might be a bit lazy (e.g. safe, comfortable, and square) production. Talented production (e.g. you have an ear, and the potential to polish 'er up) but perhaps you're being a little lazy in this instance.
IME, a remix is basically telling the original story in a new way. I want to feel engaged in your version of the story, but there are lagging and long portions that aren't telling your story.
Play around and take the listener's ears in directions that they aren't always able to anticipate.
The whole thing sounds very safe. Use that ear and talent you've got and put it out there.
Best,
Tom