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Originally Posted by sopre  Dealing with unknown artist or people who have businees practices, how do you handle it? I am a very quiet guy. The best part about me is my humor. But I have a really really bad temper and can be mean. Certain people gave done me wrong, I don't return their calls or if I see them out somewhere I act like I don't know them. I did that to an artist once who did me wrong, then he heard what I was doing and tried to get in good. One session during an audio school pract. session? I blew up at a student who thought he was a superstar producer. I gave him free studio time and all that. My friend pulled me to the side and said I can't so that. So I've calmed down, but still have that I am going to be mean and ignore you tactic. Sadly, I've done that with women too. |
I can totally relate with you..... I am very much the same person. I am a very quiet guy with lots to say, and I tend to keep stuff to myself, which can sometimes result in an explosion of anger...... I have blown up on a couple of my clients who have tryed to take advantage of me, and I have considered physical violence... However after considering the consequences, you realize it's just not worth it.
If something like this happens I am not sure I can say that ignoring the person it happened with is a bad idea..... However the goal is to try your best not to let it happen, so you don't have to make that choice, to ignore someone later.
If you are anything like me ( I am going to assume you are) you also hate drama and confrontation, so when I feel like exploding I try to think of a couple things:
1. Think of the consequences..... I don't want to have to make an extra effort to ignore certin people when I am out in public, just as much as I don't want to make small talk with people I don't know or don't like. Not being super social with people you don't like is one thing...... having to leave the room when someone shows up, because you don't want to face them, because you told them there are a ****ing loser is another thing..... It's just more for YOU to worry about. YOU don't want to have to deal with people boo-hoo'ing because YOU snapped on them.....even if they deserved it.
2.How much longer do I have to put up with this shit? In a situation like the student session you explained.... you just have to be able to remind yourself that "This day will soon be over" and you and everyone else will be much more comfortable at the end of the day, if you refrain from exploding, and deal with it in your own way on your own time.... weather that means venting to someone later.... or just going home and punching a hole in the wall.
Obviously every situation isn't one where you SHOULD keep totally quiet..
I have been in situations where I was being taken advantage of.... I was frustrated and angry and I HAD to say something simply because I felt I had nothing to loose, And i didn't want to have a reputation of being a chump... nothing I could say would make my situation better but that doesn't mean I have to make it even worse.
Even when you feel like you have nothing to loose... just think about the point you want to get across and do it in a way that doesn't involve you freaking out.
When you freak out on people, sure it's un-professional..... but I think the real problem is that people just miss the point. If you end up telling someone "HOW IT IS" in an aggressive angry way, they often just assume your just a prick..... and they can use that to justify there stupidity.... EVEN IF YOU ARE 100% RIGHT.
Moral of the story....
Pick your battles.... if nothing NEEDS to be said then don't say anything.... if you feel like saying something take a second to decide if it is worth the consequences. AND take a second to remind yourself that the day will soon be over..... Leave the room if you have to.... In-vision where you will be at the end of the day.
If something needs to be said to someone, consider the fact that if you present yourself in an angry way , chances are that someone will just use your anger to further justify there actions, and try to make it seem like your just an irrational crazy prick.... Don't give that to someone who has done you wrong!
Don't give them the opportunity to exploit you EVEN MORE and use your anger as a scapegoat.
Like with the student.... he still thinks he is the shit....and you had to give him studio time ontop of that.
If someone is doing you wrong and you really want to CRUSH them, and call them out, then do it in a way that they can't deny there actions by shifting the focus of the problem off there stupidity onto your anger.