You: You know how a band records an album, and then its mixed to get all the levels and effects and stuff right?
Them: Erm, yeah.
You: Yeah well before they send it off to make it into a CD, there is one final step in there. Thats where I come in.
Them: Right so what does that involve?
You: You wouldn't understand.
(beat) Them: Ok.
(beat) You: So how about that crazy thing in the news this week that we all saw?
ALTERNATIVE ENDING
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Them: So what does that involve exactly?
You: (Straightfaced) Well I compress, surgically EQ, maybe fix a few clicks and pops, establish an overall volume flow and polish. Actually I use a Cranesong with Klaxon Virtual Upsizers for the most part then round it all off by nipping some of the Bass out of the frequency ethernet space to tighten things up. Sometimes I even bake the premaster in our special microwave condenser for 10-20 seconds to add that sugareyness that all your favourite bands have.
(beat) Them: So how about that crazy thing in the news this week that we all saw?