[fastonkeys]

Well fortunately, we are not the only group stirring up a buzz:

One of their members apparently took the time to pen the letter below to the Head Monster... I hope he gets the job too!

Tape Op Message Board :: View topic - Monster Cables suing Monster Mini Golf

Dear Mr. Lee,

As an amateur guitarist for over 20 years, and a professional sound technician for over a decade, of course I realize your company's leadership in the audio cable market. It was Monster Cable that first made me aware that I may have been using inferior cable when playing my band's most popular songs, and thus negatively impacting the artistic effect I was wishing to make. Thank you for your years of tireless research into the seemingly forgotten science of metallurgy; without it I may have been "Rocking" with Jazz cable. This is clearly an unacceptable practice.

I am writing you today to inquire about employment opportunities within your company. As a musician, audio professional, and avid internet messageboard reader, I hear over and over again about Monster Cable's wrongheaded business strategies. I mean no offense, but clearly you require a "No Man" or what mafia dons refer to as a "Consigliere." I fear you have surrounded yourself with a cadre of business and legal advisers who do not have Monster Cable's best interests at heart. How else to explain the well-publicized and humiliating correspondence in March and April of 2008 between Christopher Passarelli, Esq. of the firm of LaRiviere, Grubman & Payne on your behalf, and Kurt Denke, Founder of Blue Jeans Cable? What other explanation could there be for spending time and money, not to mention trashing your company's goodwill, extorting licensing fees from independent vintage clothing stores? And now a small chain of theme miniature golf course franchises is being threatened by the same team that has repeatedly convinced the general public that Monster Cable is a heartless organization that should inspire contempt and ridicule. I don't believe this is what you spent years of hard work to build.

Furthermore, surely this isn't the legacy you want your children's children to inherit. Remember, the internet's memory is very long. Some day do you want your then 12 year old granddaughter to discover that her beloved Pop-Pop scraped just a few more crumbs onto his plate by harassing strangers, (many of whom weren't even competitors), and driving them out of business with his legal team? How much threat does a miniature golf course or a vintage clothing store pose to the well-being of a multinational audio/video cable company?

Mr. Lee, I have to be honest: I have very little to recommend me as a business adviser when one looks at my resume. But obviously you need a person close by to advise on matters of common sense and morality since it appears you currently have nobody filling this position. In light of this, I can certainly vouch for myself. I have decades of experience advising friends, family, and business associates in matters both personal and professional. I have been consulted repeatedly by those looking to repair damaged relationships, and I think I could bring this experience and expertise to bear in a campaign to convince the audio/video cable buying public that you are not, in fact, a painful boil on the rectum of society.

I can be reached at this email address if you would like to discuss this matter further.


Sincerely,
Jim Norton